Peanut Butter

Forgive me for being personal for a minute. If you're not interested in my life...I that your own life doesn't hold much interest either or else you wouldn't be spending time on the Internet reading blogs by people in whom you are not interested. (That wording might be a bit confusing but I'm committed to it.)

But yes, now to my point.

These past few months have been difficult ones of self discovery for me. I've touched on this before, so I will skim the surface of this topic by saying that I'm discovering new ways in which my own upbringing and my parents' divorce is affecting my life and my relationships. I've lost two girl-friends because of complicated feelings I couldn't control or understand. And only now am I beginning to face them.

Here's the "inspiring" thought I want to share with you all though. It occurs to me that (shock) I am a fallen person. And while I would like to be perfect and not have these issues, I better just get used to the fact that I have them and continue to live my life. Sure, I'm trying to get better, but there's nothing that says I have to have all my "shiz" together before I am able to love, receive love, and serve in the kingdom of God. Or else I'd be waiting for a while.

And my image of this process is Russel Crowe in Beautiful mind. (If you haven't seen this movie, shame on you, but I'm about to spoil it) But the dude struggles with the fact that he's schizophrenic and he can't get better. No matter what the guy does he can't stop creating people in his mind and believing that they are real. He has long-standing and close relationships with people that exist only in his mind. As you can see, this is a problem. Especially when he's like "hey Gary hold the bottom of this ladder for me"

But after he struggles and fights against it through the whole movie guess what happens at the end? He's still crazy! He didn't get better at all! But he still lives his life. He goes to work, he loves his wife and every time he meets someone new he turns to someone he already knows and says "hey is there another person standing here or is that just my imagination?"

And we're all a little crazy, we're all a little broken. But until we find out the ways in which we are broken we can't go on with our lives because our brokenness will be infecting us unchecked. So instead of acting all surprised and ashamed every time I discover that I've got hangups, addictions, failures, and disappointments I'm going to accept the fact that I was probably going to run into them someday and I'll rejoice that it was sooner rather than later.

Today I talked to a pastor at my church who is very wise but in conversation sometimes strays from the topic. So anyway I was trying to talk about something COMPLETELY unrelated but he hit me with this little gem

"If you're allergic to peanut butter, you'd better KNOW you're allergic to peanut butter, or you're going to die."

Let's save some time and embarrassment for everyone and just admit that we all have allergies we don't know about. And let's rejoice when we discover them because then maybe they wont kill us.

Book Review Six

Recently I lent my copy of Ender's Game to friend and co-worker Jess Rilke. Now I know this makes you think that she is forever indebted to me. But in reality it's really more like....yeah she's forever indebted to me.

In case anyone was wondering the number of people who have read my copy of Ender's game in the past year is now 13. And each person is invited to sign the inside of the book as a testament to their accomplishment/enlightenment. If any of you wish to add your name to the growing ranks please drop me a line and I would be glad to hook you up.

Anyway, in an effort to repay her literary life debt Jess lent me ICE By Shane Johnson. The best part about this book is how she randomly found it in a bargain bin and it quickly became one of her favorites. Neither one of us have ever heard of this author before, and apparently no one else in the world has ever heard of this book. I wasn't even able to find a picture of it for this blog. She said it was kinda like a "one hit wonder" minus the "hit" part.

But anyway, this book managed to talk about Jesus and not become terrible as a result. It also has wonderful imagery and intrigue. My affection for this mysterious piece of work grew immensely when I reached the end, but I can't really talk about that because if I did I would ruin it. But the epilogue is probably the best part of the book.

The thing is, if you want to read this book I think you are going to have to actually know Jess Rilke, because I believe she has the only copy in the world.

Book Review Five

Yes, I have been reading pointless fiction lately. Maybe I will read a spiritually enriching book next, maybe I wont. I don't know why I suddenly feel the need to defend myself...

Anyway, The Great Hunt by Robert Jordan is the New York Times best-selling Sequel to Eye of the World.

It's not as good, but in a twelve book series you will probably have down-points. I do enjoy it though. Rand begins coming into his own, certain characters thought dead make unexpected comebacks, and it is surprisingly light on plot lines involving Moraine or other Aes Sedia, and that's always a plus.

It's my goal to read the next 9 segments of this series before book 12, Memories of Light, is posthumously published in late 2009. But since I am now going to grad school that plan has been seriously jeopardized. Unrelated, I really love jeopardy.

Even though 10 installments of this series are New York Time bestsellers, and I think Robert Jordan dominated the world of fantasy right up until his death, I know surprisingly few people who have actually read these books. If you're interested let me know. Like the obsessive compulsive chap I am, I have multiple copies.

It's Never Easy

So if anyone actually knows me it's no secret that I've been having a difficult few months. Now it's true that I am living the life that every young man dreams of. Single, living in his mother's basement, and making approximately $7 an hour. How could I possibly complain?

But the truth of the matter is that I've been able to spend a lot of time "getting to know myself." And I actually don't like myself as much as I thought. As Larry Crabb says, "to know me is to like me. To know me better is to really like me. To truly know me is to be disgusted." I think he said something like that. And if he didn't, I'm saying it.

And this isn't to say that I'm a particularly evil person as far as persons go. But whenever you cut the crap and take a good long look at what God thought was so worth redeeming it's a bit of an eye opening experience.

But the reason I share this today is to tell you that I've not been %100 in the emotional department lately. But I think I got a big 'win" (as we would say at NP) the other day when I made an important decision. I live my life under imagined and implied pressure. I hold myself to some made up and arbitrary standards that no one else notices. I can't live up to them.

Anyway, long story short, yesterday I decided "forget it, I'm doing what I want, I don't care what it looks like." As a result I'm not waiting around to hear anything more about Ireland. I'm going to get a masters of arts in student development and higher education from Taylor University. (Booyaah) Also, I am accepting the assistantship of being Student Activities Coodinator at Huntington College. All those annoying events I didn't go to in college...now I'm running them!

And this leads me to another thought that I will leave you with to mull over. Sometimes I think that we should spend more time worrying about ourselves. Randy Alcorn calls this "enlightened self interest" and That Calvinist dude who wrote Desiring God called it "Christian Hedonism." I don't know what I call it, but maybe if we were more focused on getting our share of God we would end up doing the "right thing" more often than we expect.

Anyone remember when Huck Finn freed that slave?

P.S. I just remembered that his name was John Piper.

A long night in Student Ministry

Ok now I'm basically a youth pastor.

"Why?"

Because in one night I went from a 5-8 grade bowling event to a highschool lock in. Too much Mountain Dew and pizza were involved in both instances. Between the two events combined I was on the Student Ministries clock from 7:00 PM -9:00 AM.

I'll tell you more about the bowling night when I get pictures, there's enough to say about the lock-in. We called it "The Gauntlet" Matt was running the event and it went really well. Right up until the time that I was almost permanently debilitated by a water balloon launcher.

We were playing what must be the new coolest game in the world. "Liquid Twilight Remix." Which basically meant kids launching waterballoons at moving targets (me, a man on a bike, and Dave D'Angelo driving a mini-van that has seen better days). I was hit only once, but in such instances, the quality of a hit can be more destructive than any quantity of hits. I'll spare the details but lets just say that as I lay in the parking lot curled up in the fetal position I received a lot more sympathy from the male participants than the female ones. I walked funny for the rest of the night.

Also Chaz Colucy filled up a garbage bag with water and swung it at me.

Lessons learned from the all nighter.

12 hours is too long
kids don't even WANT breakfast after something like that
Certain youths should not have energy drinks
Rock-band is awesome
Water balloon launchers are more powerful than I was lead to believe

The mini

About this time last year there was a man by the name of Steve Conn, who was training for the Indianapolis mini marathon. He ran and ran and ran. This duck-footed, "loose fit" wearing, and all around slow guy was attempting to run 13 miles (in a row). Why did he do this? Was it becuase he had never run more than 3 miles at a time in his life? We will never know.

But after training to the point that he could run 10 miles, our hero decided to tear his abductor muscle four days before the race. How did he do this you might ask? It might have been while trying to jump over one of his friends while they were playing in the mud in a torrential downpoor.

Well that was then. this is now. I was nervous about signing up for the mini again, and I refused to do it until I got my swagger back. But yesterday I ran 10 miles. Today my body feels like trash but if my legs weren't so sore I'd be swaggering like you wouldn't believe. So Today I signed up to run the Indy Mini on May 3rd.

Registration has been full for months, but I was able to buy a spot off of one of my friends. I will impersonate this friend, and since you are not required to show ID at the race, no one will ever be the wiser. In three weeks I will be crusing the streets of INdianapolis under the Alias of Veronika Vlaslov (yes that's right, I'm now a 21 year old girl from Latvia).

Welcome New Readers

I think that it's about time to explain to all my faithful readers (hi mom) exactly WHY I started a blog. There are two main reasons.

1) I am narcissisticly obsessed with my own words.
2) Peer pressure.

I feel like reason number one is rather self-explanatory, so I'll move on to the second reason. I have begun working at this church called Newpointe. It's an amusing place because it is very stereotypically "big church." It is full of "cutting edge" things and every room/ministry/event/drawer has it's own zingy name and logo. Also it sometimes adds extra vowels to the ends of words.

But please, do not think I say this to criticize, I am simply enjoying the foibles of a community I am growing to love. It's a rapidly growing church because they are lead by a Christ centered vision and have sound theory backing up their ministry practices. I believe that God smiles when he looks at Newpointe, and if I sometimes make light of it it is only in the same way that I poke fun of the idiosyncrasies of my beloved Taylor University. And you KNOW how much I love that place. (I wish that Taylor was a person so I could marry her and/or donate an organ to her.)

That being said...APPARENTLY I have been living in a cave on mars with my fingers in my ears ever since this "internet" fad become popular. At Taylor no one had blogs, no one read blogs. Why? No reason. We just never thought about them. We also never played polo. Nothing against either thing, they just weren't on our radar.

Not so at Newpointe. Everyone on staff has a blog, and they all love reading other people's blogs. Apparently "hip" people in ministry today write blogs, and other "hip" people (us) learn from them. Almost like a book except free and not as heavy.

Well this cat is super "hip" and he wanted to join in the fun. Newpointe, you have inspired me! (and it might sound like I'm making fun of you, but if I WAS making fun of you, I wouldn't actually be keeping up with my blog now would I?)

Anyway, word has gotten out about my blog. I'm not really sure how. I was probably referencing it myself. I do that now. If I have something to say to a person that I've already written about I try to pretend this website is an academic source worth consulting. I'll say "Oh, have you seen my blog? I talked about that." At that point I stop talking as if to say "I've already exhausted all thoughts on that topic by "blogging" it and if you are enlightened you will read up on it." But what I REALLY mean is "I wanted to mention that I have a blog, also if I told you what was on it, you wouldn't need to go there and actually read it."

So some people at Newpointe who are quite Blog-Sauvy have actually looked at this at least once! And one person has told me that she has added it to her Google reader. You know what that is? That's kinda like a subscriber! (Thanks Jess) That means that the number of people who have seen my blog has ballooned from 1 to slightly more than 1. Soon Doug Fields and Andy Stanly are going to be reading MY blog to find out what the "hip" Christians are doing.

But since you readers are first I'll let you in on a little secret. The hip Christians (me) are mostly sitting in their mom's basement reading fantasy novels. Do as I say, not as I do.

Book Review Four

Ok let me tell you something about The Wheel of Time by Robert Jordan.

It does not have any redemptive value spiritually, morally, culturally, or educationally. It will not make you a better person. But oh my gosh--I did not know that ink and paper had such a frighteningly powerful ability to entertain. Next to Tony Hawk Pro Skater I have never seen anything nearly as addictive is this book series.

I read this book for the first time when I was in highschool, and it was like crack to me. I read the next TEN books in the series. (That's around 10,000 pages in case anyone is keeping count.) I started re-reading because the twelfth and final edition to this saga is going to be publish in late 2009 despite the fact that the author has DIED. That's right, the plot of this book is so compelling that God is allowing Robert Jordan to write from beyond the grave.

So anyway, I talked my sister (who has a masters degree in comparative literature) to read this series and she gave up after four books because she said they "weren't really that great." And sadly I assumed she was right. It's very common for her to recognize the suckatude of a piece of writing while I'm still too young to understand. As the years go by I am able to see that some of what I once thought was brilliant is in fact, trash. The Dark Tower is a prime example. Sorry everyone, but even though I was temporarily fooled I stand before you now to say that Stephen King is a terrible writer.

But my sister was wrong about something. The Wheel of Time is above criticism. It's like watching Star Wars. You instantly fall in love with it. Then some Critic who likes "good movies" points out to you that the acting is horrible, the dialogue is atrocious, ansd he might use pretentious made up words like "cinemetography." He might even tell you that episodes 4-6 aren't REALLY any better than the travashamockeries that were episodes 1-3. And the truth is that blasphemous jerk might be telling the truth. But a true fan covers his/her ears and sings John Williams at the top of his/her lungs becuase Star Wars is untouchable, and you fall in love all over again every time you watch it. And that's how the Wheel of Time is.

So call it sticking my head in the sand but I will go to the GRAVE loving the Wheel of Time, and I don't care what anyone says. So if you are a nerd, or you have no life, or you just want your mind blown to the back of your skull by the longest piece of fantasy literature ever written strap in and take the plunge, and do NOT listen to what Ryan Duncan tells you. EVER.

Conn Air

Ok so my Cousin Jeff is a college freshmen and he almost has his pilot's licence. Yes it's surprising to me too. Jeff flies a plane and he plays guitar. Could he BE a bigger chick magnet? Maybe if he was also a fire-fighter. But I think he's doing well enough. The ladies at MVNU just can't get enough. I on the other hand stopped learning to play the guitar when I got a girlfriend. Then after we broke up I realized I had lost all my skillz and now I have nothing.

But we can bemoan my pitiful life later in great detail. At the moment we are here to recognize the fact that yesterday was beautiful. It passed the Journey test. That's when I open up my sunroof and play "Any Way You Want It" while singing in a falsetto until people start staring. And if it feels right you know that Old Man Winter will not be coming around again that year.

So Jeff says. "hey it's a nice day, let's go flying" So I changed into my flying shorts (seen here) and called his bluff. Turns out...the guy owns a plane! Well, I'll be. We flew all the way to Cincinnati and I learned a lot of technical mumbo jumbo about planes. I can now read an Altimiter and I know that if you get caught in the vortex of a commercial airliner you will die (The fluffy white lines that the airplane leaves behind...). Him and I are going to go into business together as our own two-man commericial airline. We can only haul two passangers at once, so ticketts are a little hard to come by. Also he's not lisenced yet so we are very illegal. For flight reservations E-mail me at steve_conn@tayloru.edu. Conn-Air is open for business.

Work in Progess

So I usually keep this blog light and breezy, and I'll try not to venture too far from that today, but I'm going to share a thought wth the millions of readers that regularly subscribe to my blog (hi mom).

I think that as Christians when we feel like we are "mature" we are willing to accept that pain and hardship are God's way of teaching us important thing. And that if we are willing to suffer through them for a season we will come out the better for it in the end. In fact, perhaps we could even welcome hardships, or "Rejoice when [we] face difficulties of many kinds."

But we are unwilling to accept that our own inequities and faillings can work the same way. You might say "I'm praying that God will remove these sinful desires from my life, but he doesn't, what's wrong?"

Well we'd like to think that God will always answer "good prayers" the way we expect, but this is really not the case at all. If you pray for maturity and you pray for victory over sin and you pray for peace you aren't going to get all three at once. Becuase God will probably use a defficiency in one to bring you to a greater understanding of the other.

If we didn't fail we wouldn't learn. Holiness, depth, and love for a God we cannot see isn't something that can be microwaved or instantly granted. God WILL answer your prayers if you pray for love, a deeper relationship, and victory. But he will do it the hard way. If he transformed you into your own little Jesus you wouldn't need the real one.

Paul would then ask, "Does this mean that we are to go on sinning? By no means!" (In Romans the phrase Paul uses roughtly translates to "Hell No") No, you are not to rejoice in your sin. You are to fight it. But if you don't want to be crushed by your own shame try getting over yourself and admitting that even though it is of the devil, God has figured out a way to make you desire Him more through your sin. It's a bit of a silver lining. Also, keep in mind that there is a day approaching in the future where we will be as sinless as we've always wanted to be.

Romans 8 is an inspiring chapter.

Book Review Three

I think that the literature I have been recently enjoying as taken a small turn for the worse. I should have stopped with Les Mis. If I wanted to appear cultured that is. I wouldn't say that this was actually a bad book. In fact it was quite entertaining. But I read it under the impression that it was going to be informative--and if not "life changing" at least thought provoking.

But if you like 10 pages of solid information jammed packed into a 250 page book The Tipping Point may be for you.

Perhaps I'm being a bit to cynical because I read it with false expectations, and much of the information in this book was also found in a few of my psychology text books. Literally. The same case studies, the same experiments. Which is not at all a problem, it just causes me to zone out a little bit because it smacks of school. But not to worry, this is still an entertaining and interesting read that has factual information that is intriguing if it fails to be useful.

It is all about what causes epidemics of ideas. Why is Sesame street so popular, how did Hush Puppies go from selling 30,000 units a year to 300,000 units a year, why did the midnight ride of Paul Revere ignite the country-side while the midnight ride of William Dawes was completely ineffectual? (William Dawes was the other guy, Paul went north and William went south at the same time, with the same message, but William was so worthless that the next day most of the towns he visited were completely unaware that he had even been through. This is why nobody remembers his name) Why does the game "six degrees of Kevin Bacon" actually work? And did you know that you are probably linked to anyone in the country in less than 6 steps? Stanly Milgram proved it.

If you've read "Freakanomics" this book is a lot like that. It's witty and whimsical, but it's fails to deliver on the wild claims made by the book-jacket.

"A vital and must-read addition to the ongoing debate about what really causes crime and disorder and how best to deal with it"~ William J Bratton.

If the information in this book is as valuable as people claim it to be then my undergrad in Psychology makes me an expert of fixing all the social and economic problems in the country.

If you have a friend or Co-worker who owns this book go ahead and borrow it. It will take you a weekend to read and it's an interesting page turner. But don't spend your own money. I got it free from my boss, and I am pleased with my acquisition.

My Musical Debut

So this is old news but I’ll tell you anyway in case you some-how managed to miss this. It was Easter two Sundays ago!

Now the only reason I bring this up NOW is because I finally got a picture of some poser pretending to be a musician, and I thought it would go well with this post.
Rumor has it that I (Danger) used to play trombone in high school. Rumor circulated to the worship leader here at Newpointe and he asked if I wanted in the “horn section” for this years Easter service. Steve Conn? On Stage? Yes please.

But I was once again made aware of the vast difference between being vaguely aware how to play in instrument (mouth goes on the small end, noise comes out the big end) and being a musician (the “ends” are called “the mouthpiece” and “the bell”).

But for real I was standing next to two band teachers and an intimidatingly attractive older woman who were discussing the various ways to play their sixteenth note “runs.” They pulled their well preserved and loved instruments out of cases that looked like they had seen better days, but were as reliable and cherished as old friends. Their brightly polished horns produced golden tones as they tuned to each other by ear. The hands of artists at work.

I on the other hand found my discarded horn in my basement without a case. And by “my” horn I mean a trombone I stole from the Wauseon High school band-room junior year because I BELIEVE it belonged to Joel Barber and I knew he wouldn’t care. You might ask what happened to MY trombone. That’s a good question. But I know it wouldn’t have fit into a case either because the mouthpiece was permanently stuck in the slide.

Also, it is important to lubricate the slide of a trombone like the valves of a trumpet because it will stick or make a grating noise. It’s harder to play and doesn’t sound good to listen to. They recommend that you oil your slide before every use. I believe that this horn was last oiled in 2004. But that’s ok because I sprayed it down with Lemon Pledge.

When I arrived I practiced with the full band. Which made me feel unbelievably cool because the other people on stage were Good, and no one had yet figured out that I didn’t belong there. This MIGHT be because my part looked like it had been written for an 8th grader. And I don’t mean to brag, but if you gave me a month to practice I would probably dominate 8th grade band try-outs.

Afterwards a bearded trumpet player who I am assuming was related to Louis Armstrong (despite being white) asked me to play a note so he could tune to me. I failed to tell him that my tuning slide fell out on the way to the car and not remembering where it belonged, I shoved it back on haphazardly. But he said I sounded good.

Anyway, I got to play, it was a lot of fun, and it was actually an amazing worship set. Humor aside, it was sweet to see so many people being involved in worship. I couldn’t see an empty seat in the house, becuase people flooded in from all over to take part in our Easter service. We average 2,500 attendees on a given Sunday, but this week we had 3,500. Which means 1,000 people who might not know Jesus got a chance to hear the Gospel from Dwight. And I like that.
I love Easter more than any other day of the year, and I was excited to be taking part in it any way I could.

Clearly we can see that there is a direct correlation between Steve performing onstage and attendance spiking through the roof. If the administration at Newpointe understands how to capitalize on this trend we could experience some big growth in the future.

(Newpointe community church is committed to quality a worship experience because excellence honors God. Despite my comidic description I assure that my performance was "adequate" and that their services are not "run by children."

For further proof see here: http://www.newpointe.org/content.cfm?id=2006. )