It would probably be foolish of me to say that divine intervention saved my life. It would be arrogant to say that the Universe kept me alive to fulfil some grand purpose. It would we ludicrous to say that my car took on a life of his own. No friends, I survived out of sheer power of will.*
the other day Beth hale and I were slip sliding along state route five, enjoying the winter wonderland that was Huntington. When all of a sudden a patch of black ice attacked my car. I glanced over at Beth to see if she was concerned. She hadn't noticed yet. But she quickly became aware when our car decided it was going to fish tale into the left lane.
But I am a trained professional behind the wheel. When I was sixteen I took a course in "Driver's Education" and I even passed a test that licenced me to pilot such dangerous vehicles as cars. So using all that experience I was able to correct our course until we were fishtailing out of control the other direction.
A sudden calm came over me and I said "Beth...We're going of the road."
Beth replied "ok."
In stupefied silence we watched as the road gave way to the shoulder, and then to the ditch. I distinctly remember looking DOWN at Beth and seeing the snow rush up to the passenger side window. There was a lurch, a "whoosh" and the definite sound of turf being thrown helter skelter and before I knew it...
we were back on the road.
No. I have no idea how this happened...So I just kept driving.
WHERE O DEATH IS YOUR STING?
*Ok I think it was actually a God/Luck combo
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
Friday, February 20, 2009
The Drive
I've been thinking lately, which APPARENTLY due to my "Strength's profile" what not a surprise. but anyway, it has lead me to a series of ideas that will be expressed via blog in the next few days. For those of you who are waiting for a humorous account of my near death experience, I'm waiting for pictures.
I'm tired of being "Driven." The motivation to do, strive, achieve, and be. I think we need to give it up to an extent. It's true that many people are in need of some motivation, but I find myself currently surrounded by people who continue to strive for the next level. this isn't a bad thing in and of itself, but I find it a rather unfulfilled quest. "Vanity, Vanity, all is Vanity.*" At least that's what the author of Ecclesiastes said.
This isn't necessarily bad, but I think it depends on the motivation. Is it a true desire for excellence? Is it a desire to help others? Is it the joy of overcoming obstacles? Or is it because we've just been conditioned to think of this type of lifestyle as "success" or because we just "should" be this way? Are we driven by internal forces or external forces, and can some of us really not tell the difference?
We LIKE the words "driven" or "drive" because they speaks of power and control. But who says "I'm a driving person"? No one. We are "Driven." Driven by what? You're not the driver...you're the CAR. If you are driven by something you are controlled by something.
Not all driving forces are bad. Love, mercy, God, justice, compassion, empathy. Being Driven isn't bad. But what, my friends, is driving you?
*In this sense vanity = meaningless
I'm tired of being "Driven." The motivation to do, strive, achieve, and be. I think we need to give it up to an extent. It's true that many people are in need of some motivation, but I find myself currently surrounded by people who continue to strive for the next level. this isn't a bad thing in and of itself, but I find it a rather unfulfilled quest. "Vanity, Vanity, all is Vanity.*" At least that's what the author of Ecclesiastes said.
This isn't necessarily bad, but I think it depends on the motivation. Is it a true desire for excellence? Is it a desire to help others? Is it the joy of overcoming obstacles? Or is it because we've just been conditioned to think of this type of lifestyle as "success" or because we just "should" be this way? Are we driven by internal forces or external forces, and can some of us really not tell the difference?
We LIKE the words "driven" or "drive" because they speaks of power and control. But who says "I'm a driving person"? No one. We are "Driven." Driven by what? You're not the driver...you're the CAR. If you are driven by something you are controlled by something.
Not all driving forces are bad. Love, mercy, God, justice, compassion, empathy. Being Driven isn't bad. But what, my friends, is driving you?
*In this sense vanity = meaningless
Friday, February 13, 2009
The Rich Man
I once knew a man named Ryan Duncan who got mad that his friends forgot to invite him to a movie he wanted to see. So while they were watching it he looked up the ending online and called them at the theater shouting "They all die in the end, you jerks"*
That story was completely unrelated to anything I was about to say.
As you know I've been reading two books with harsh and confusing messages. These books are Irresistable Revolution and the Gospel of Luke. And here's something interesting.
We are all familiar with the story of Lazarus and the rich man. Lazarus is a poor man that sits outside the rich man's gates while dogs lick his open soars. That night they both die, the Rich man goes to hell, the Lazarus goes to Heaven, and we all learn a lesson.
In our world it often seems that the poor are nameless, voiceless. You see a homeless man on the street, he has no family, no property, not even a library card. He's nobody. We talk about the "invisable children" of Sudan becuase thousands of unncounted for children are taken away unnoticed. Even those of us with good intentions don't think if the poor by name...they are just "the poor."
Read this story for yourself in Luke 16. Lazarus has a name, the rich man doesn't.**
What does that say about the Kingdom of God?
*The Movie was "Cloverfield" and they all ended up hating it anyway. Duncan saved seven dollars.
**Another notable no-name character is the base-player from "That Thing You Do" who is always referred to as "The Base Player" and even during the credits is listed as "T.B. Player."
That story was completely unrelated to anything I was about to say.
As you know I've been reading two books with harsh and confusing messages. These books are Irresistable Revolution and the Gospel of Luke. And here's something interesting.
We are all familiar with the story of Lazarus and the rich man. Lazarus is a poor man that sits outside the rich man's gates while dogs lick his open soars. That night they both die, the Rich man goes to hell, the Lazarus goes to Heaven, and we all learn a lesson.
In our world it often seems that the poor are nameless, voiceless. You see a homeless man on the street, he has no family, no property, not even a library card. He's nobody. We talk about the "invisable children" of Sudan becuase thousands of unncounted for children are taken away unnoticed. Even those of us with good intentions don't think if the poor by name...they are just "the poor."
Read this story for yourself in Luke 16. Lazarus has a name, the rich man doesn't.**
What does that say about the Kingdom of God?
*The Movie was "Cloverfield" and they all ended up hating it anyway. Duncan saved seven dollars.
**Another notable no-name character is the base-player from "That Thing You Do" who is always referred to as "The Base Player" and even during the credits is listed as "T.B. Player."
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
Should
I would like to take this moment to state my utmost dislike and abhorrence for the word "should" when applied to our Christin walk. I think it would be a heatlthy thing for us to eliminate this word from our vocabulary.
Masses: "What? Steve, you can't be serious?"
Steve: Oh you're right, I'm not quite serious.
There are, in fact, many things that we should be doing, most of which, we are not doing. But I feel like for many people the word should is a haunting presence hanging just over our shoulder as we interact with others who remind by specific examples that we are far from perfect.
Often times I come away from conversations with other Christians feelin very discouraged.
I should read my Bible more
I should pray differently
I should read more Christian books
I should spend more time with people
I should care more about poverty
I should have a softer heart
I should not care so much what other people think
I should get more involved
I should be passionate about something
I should feel differently about ______
I should think differently about _______
I should be more positive
I should be a better listener
I should ...be someone else
Don't get me wrong, I think we should "press on forward to take hold of that which has taken hold of us*" and it's true that being a Christian is like going on a journey that never ends. But I SHOULDN'T feel like a treadmill that is no going anywhere and will throw us off if we aren't doing well enough. What's more I sometimes I feel like the self-conscoius fat dude on the treadmill that is convinced that everyone else in the gym is watching and judging him. And that is NOT what I think God intended.
Yeah, there are things that we should do, but honestly, watch yourself when you say that, don't do more harm than good, cause that's what I do.
*The Apostle Paul, in his letter to the church in Phillipi...in some chapter and verse
Masses: "What? Steve, you can't be serious?"
Steve: Oh you're right, I'm not quite serious.
There are, in fact, many things that we should be doing, most of which, we are not doing. But I feel like for many people the word should is a haunting presence hanging just over our shoulder as we interact with others who remind by specific examples that we are far from perfect.
Often times I come away from conversations with other Christians feelin very discouraged.
I should read my Bible more
I should pray differently
I should read more Christian books
I should spend more time with people
I should care more about poverty
I should have a softer heart
I should not care so much what other people think
I should get more involved
I should be passionate about something
I should feel differently about ______
I should think differently about _______
I should be more positive
I should be a better listener
I should ...be someone else
Don't get me wrong, I think we should "press on forward to take hold of that which has taken hold of us*" and it's true that being a Christian is like going on a journey that never ends. But I SHOULDN'T feel like a treadmill that is no going anywhere and will throw us off if we aren't doing well enough. What's more I sometimes I feel like the self-conscoius fat dude on the treadmill that is convinced that everyone else in the gym is watching and judging him. And that is NOT what I think God intended.
Yeah, there are things that we should do, but honestly, watch yourself when you say that, don't do more harm than good, cause that's what I do.
*The Apostle Paul, in his letter to the church in Phillipi...in some chapter and verse
Thursday, February 5, 2009
Stuff Girls Like: Cute
As you all know, if a word is overused out of context it begins to lose all meaning. However, girls have somehow figured out a way to use the word "cute" to describe everything in the world that they like and still retain the essence of the word. At least that is what they claim. If a girl ever tells you that something is cute, please do not disagree, because you are wrong. If they said it's cute...it is. Even if it is the exact opposite of the last thing they said was cute. You can disagree all you want, but they will just roll their eyes...although they might think your ignorance is cute.
Examples of things that are cute:
Boys, but never who or when you expect it.
Children and babies, no matter how ugly, are cute.
Old people are cute if they are happy and or still married
Anything smaller than usual is cute (don't believe me? go to Wal-mart and buy a "travel sized" anything and give it to a girl. It's cute)
Things that should be plain but have ugly patterns or weird colors instead
(That pink and brown polka-dot toaster us SO cute!)
Boys who are bad at things--"Oh Steve it's so cute when you try to cook."
Body piercings or tattoos are cute IF they are on a girl that they like. Otherwise they are gross
Over sized accessories are cute "my sunglasses are too heavy for me to hold my head up, but aren't they cute?"
Anything that any guy ever does in a movie is cute...even if it would be creepy or awkward in real life "Oh you showed up at my house with flowers because I didn't have a date for the prom...even though I've never met you before!"
Any girl who has a personality they like is automatically cute
Wearing multiple layers of clothing that don't match is cute
Anything made of snow is cute
All animals are cute
Sports cars can be cute if girls are driving them and "having fun." It also depends if they decorate the car with "cute" things on the inside.
Ugly couples are cute, but if seen individually are just ugly people
Shy and awkward people are cute (outgoing and awkward people are creepy)
Shoes are always cute no matter what
Female alternative/punk rock singers such as P!NK (she has tattoos and piercings)are cute.
So men, if you want to be irresistibly cute you need to be a small old man with tattoos and an eyebrow ring who always dresses in multiple layers of mismatched baggy stripped and dotted cloths and carries a gaudy cane and perhaps a belt that is six inches wide. You also need to be awkward and bad at stuff, like recording punk-rock albums, and you need to come on strong all the time like a guy in the movies, and possibly keep a lot of small children and animals in your house at all times. Also, being ugly doesn't hurt. If you take these recommendations you will instantly turn into someone that all the girls think is "cute."
Examples of things that are cute:
Boys, but never who or when you expect it.
Children and babies, no matter how ugly, are cute.
Old people are cute if they are happy and or still married
Anything smaller than usual is cute (don't believe me? go to Wal-mart and buy a "travel sized" anything and give it to a girl. It's cute)
Things that should be plain but have ugly patterns or weird colors instead
(That pink and brown polka-dot toaster us SO cute!)
Boys who are bad at things--"Oh Steve it's so cute when you try to cook."
Body piercings or tattoos are cute IF they are on a girl that they like. Otherwise they are gross
Over sized accessories are cute "my sunglasses are too heavy for me to hold my head up, but aren't they cute?"
Anything that any guy ever does in a movie is cute...even if it would be creepy or awkward in real life "Oh you showed up at my house with flowers because I didn't have a date for the prom...even though I've never met you before!"
Any girl who has a personality they like is automatically cute
Wearing multiple layers of clothing that don't match is cute
Anything made of snow is cute
All animals are cute
Sports cars can be cute if girls are driving them and "having fun." It also depends if they decorate the car with "cute" things on the inside.
Ugly couples are cute, but if seen individually are just ugly people
Shy and awkward people are cute (outgoing and awkward people are creepy)
Shoes are always cute no matter what
Female alternative/punk rock singers such as P!NK (she has tattoos and piercings)are cute.
So men, if you want to be irresistibly cute you need to be a small old man with tattoos and an eyebrow ring who always dresses in multiple layers of mismatched baggy stripped and dotted cloths and carries a gaudy cane and perhaps a belt that is six inches wide. You also need to be awkward and bad at stuff, like recording punk-rock albums, and you need to come on strong all the time like a guy in the movies, and possibly keep a lot of small children and animals in your house at all times. Also, being ugly doesn't hurt. If you take these recommendations you will instantly turn into someone that all the girls think is "cute."
Wednesday, February 4, 2009
Goals
I've heard it said that Abraham Lincoln was considered a deep thinker because he read so little. (That's because he thought about what he read though, not because he spent the rest of the time watching American Idol.) I've also heard it said that Phil Byers is considered a deep thinker because he reads all the time. Whatever. What I do know is that I'm drowning in books and one of my buddies said he was setting a goal of reading 20 books this year. Sounds good, so I'm in too.
You will notice on my list that I have read two children's novels. I'm counting them. Deal with it. No one wants to read my book reviews (apparently) but if you ever have a question about anything I've read I'm nerdy enough to answer you.
You will notice on my list that I have read two children's novels. I'm counting them. Deal with it. No one wants to read my book reviews (apparently) but if you ever have a question about anything I've read I'm nerdy enough to answer you.
Tuesday, February 3, 2009
The Wheels on the Bus
For those of you who have not heard, I, Steve Conn, one of the least confident drivers you know, am now cleared to drive the Huntington University Mini-bus.
What is a mini-bus you ask? It's basically a fifteen passenger van in bus form, or perhaps a school-bus in fifteen passenger form. I'm not really sure why you would make a bus of this size but I do know one thing. They are uncomfortable.
Eric and I were sent on a cross-country escapade to save poor terrified Huntington Students from the clutches of Atlanta Georgia. Some of you may not know yet of my intense hatred for Georgia, but it is epic. Last time my friends and I had the misfortune of driving through Georgia we swore that we would not leave the car until we got to Florida and thereby not set foot in that cursed state.*
Eric and I realized about 10 minutes into the trip that the heater on the bus didn't work and that we might be in for a long ride. Which was fine with us because we figured it would be a good time for us to catch up and have a real heart to heart. To do this you had two choices. 1) Yell at the top of your lungs from the front passenger seat, which is actually located about four feet behind the driver, or 2) sit on the floor next to the driver with your eyes level with the dashboard and your butt on a line that says "no passengers beyond this line"
Eventually we picked up some Huntington Students who we didn't know and who didn't know us. But for some reason this didn't seem to distress them at all.
"Hi I'm Steve"
.....
"What's your name?"
"Amy"
"Hi Amy"
"......"
"......"
"Hi."
I love connecting with students!
We made such good friends that trip. And possibly some enemies. For three hours they were forced to play games and solve riddles with us. After that I gave them a "history" lesson on Indiana, and threatened to perform a reader's theater of whatever book I could find on the bus. Also, Eric is slightly obsessed with not stopping on road trips. In fact we refused to even CONSIDER stopping for gas until the gas-light came on. When you heard the tell-tale "ping" that might trigger panic in some first-time bus drivers with a load of disgruntled students Eric would say "do you think we should stop for gas soon?" This caused problems once when a student in the back yelled "are we going to stop for lunch soon? I'm starving."
I looked at Eric, he looked at me, and I said "I'm sorry, we'd like to stop but we still have a quarter of a tank left." None of the students from that trip have talked to me since.
*Sadly, a two hour traffic jam and too many fluids foiled that plan for me, but as I walked back to the car from the woods where I took my "relief" I rationalized it by saying that the only reason I set foot in Georgia was to pee on it.
What is a mini-bus you ask? It's basically a fifteen passenger van in bus form, or perhaps a school-bus in fifteen passenger form. I'm not really sure why you would make a bus of this size but I do know one thing. They are uncomfortable.
Eric and I were sent on a cross-country escapade to save poor terrified Huntington Students from the clutches of Atlanta Georgia. Some of you may not know yet of my intense hatred for Georgia, but it is epic. Last time my friends and I had the misfortune of driving through Georgia we swore that we would not leave the car until we got to Florida and thereby not set foot in that cursed state.*
Eric and I realized about 10 minutes into the trip that the heater on the bus didn't work and that we might be in for a long ride. Which was fine with us because we figured it would be a good time for us to catch up and have a real heart to heart. To do this you had two choices. 1) Yell at the top of your lungs from the front passenger seat, which is actually located about four feet behind the driver, or 2) sit on the floor next to the driver with your eyes level with the dashboard and your butt on a line that says "no passengers beyond this line"
Eventually we picked up some Huntington Students who we didn't know and who didn't know us. But for some reason this didn't seem to distress them at all.
"Hi I'm Steve"
.....
"What's your name?"
"Amy"
"Hi Amy"
"......"
"......"
"Hi."
I love connecting with students!
We made such good friends that trip. And possibly some enemies. For three hours they were forced to play games and solve riddles with us. After that I gave them a "history" lesson on Indiana, and threatened to perform a reader's theater of whatever book I could find on the bus. Also, Eric is slightly obsessed with not stopping on road trips. In fact we refused to even CONSIDER stopping for gas until the gas-light came on. When you heard the tell-tale "ping" that might trigger panic in some first-time bus drivers with a load of disgruntled students Eric would say "do you think we should stop for gas soon?" This caused problems once when a student in the back yelled "are we going to stop for lunch soon? I'm starving."
I looked at Eric, he looked at me, and I said "I'm sorry, we'd like to stop but we still have a quarter of a tank left." None of the students from that trip have talked to me since.
*Sadly, a two hour traffic jam and too many fluids foiled that plan for me, but as I walked back to the car from the woods where I took my "relief" I rationalized it by saying that the only reason I set foot in Georgia was to pee on it.
Monday, February 2, 2009
It's a jumble
Hello two or three people that continue to read my blog despite the fact that my entries have become increasingly rare over the last few months. Rest assured I am back at Huntington where I don't have a life and I will have ample time to blog all my precious thoughts.
I just have so many thoughts over the last few days that I'm not sure where to start.
So before I jump into my regular habit of making fairly obvious semi-spiritual observations about life I am going to just bullet-point some ideas that have occurred to me recently. (Many of these thoughts come from the time I drove to Atlanta and back in two days)
The Varsity is a great place to eat
Shane Clabourn is unnecessarily obsessed with sidewalk chalk
Jeopardy does not need to be broadcast in HD
Digital TV coupons are no longer available
BOTH coaches for the NCAA championship game were from Ohio
Super-bowl MVP Santonio Holmes played at THE OSU
I really do NOT desire to return to grad-school
hall-directing is better than activity coordinating
Macedonians are loud
I discovered a half price book-store and a broke down...but the books were so cheap
I head Kelly Clarkson's new Song "my life would suck without you"
A bus is no place to be for 11 hours if the heater doesn't work
I'm in love with Cortney Korshak
I can drive a bus now
Lost cities is the best game ever
Sorry if you have been waiting for something else, but I will be back soon with more of the "enlightainment" that you all know and love so well.
I just have so many thoughts over the last few days that I'm not sure where to start.
So before I jump into my regular habit of making fairly obvious semi-spiritual observations about life I am going to just bullet-point some ideas that have occurred to me recently. (Many of these thoughts come from the time I drove to Atlanta and back in two days)
The Varsity is a great place to eat
Shane Clabourn is unnecessarily obsessed with sidewalk chalk
Jeopardy does not need to be broadcast in HD
Digital TV coupons are no longer available
BOTH coaches for the NCAA championship game were from Ohio
Super-bowl MVP Santonio Holmes played at THE OSU
I really do NOT desire to return to grad-school
hall-directing is better than activity coordinating
Macedonians are loud
I discovered a half price book-store and a broke down...but the books were so cheap
I head Kelly Clarkson's new Song "my life would suck without you"
A bus is no place to be for 11 hours if the heater doesn't work
I'm in love with Cortney Korshak
I can drive a bus now
Lost cities is the best game ever
Sorry if you have been waiting for something else, but I will be back soon with more of the "enlightainment" that you all know and love so well.
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