Stuff Girls Like

Now forgive me for naming this post something that will make you think of stuffwhitepeoplelike or stuffchristianslike (both very funny) Trust me, that is not my intent, but I can't think of a better title for a post about stuff that girls like.

And here's why I'm writing this post. Because I'm not trying to list things that girls generally enjoy. Girls would be far better at doing that than I am. What I wanted to do was draw attention to a few particularly strange but universally accepted obsessions girls can't seem to get over.

Here are the two criteria I employ for defining "stuff girls like"

1) It must be close to universal but never explicitly talked about
2) Girls must act shocked and offended when you don't like it too.

Example 1 Walking:
Girls love to walk. If you have a girlfriend that means you have gone on several walks. My girlfriend generally takes a walk every day. The idea of taking a walk by myself makes about as much sense to me as playing tennis by myself, but girls are enamoured with it.

Now it's true, that I like to go for runs, and you might make the argument that walking is like running except slowed to an excruciatingly tedious pace. My Rebuttal: I also like to read, but running is to walking as reading is to hooked on Phonix flash-cards.

You know this is true because no matter where you are, no matter how good of friends you are with the person, no matter how far she has to go, if it is a "nice day" outside a walking girl will NOT accept a ride in your car.* She will always say "oh no I'm almost there" meaning she is only half a mile away.

It is true that I am fully capable of walking a half a mile but I'm also capable of washing dishes by hand, and I've yet to the person (man or woman) who says "oh no I'm fine without the dishwasher, I really like the feeling of water against my hands. Thanks though."

This is nowhere more evident than when your dirty dark secret comes out that you sometimes drive distances of less than a mile. Perhaps you are on a college campus and you've decided that you don't want to walk 8 minutes to the library to fetch a book and walk 8 minutes back. If you ever let a girl know you've done this she will look at you and say "why would you drive?" and the fascinating thing about this is that she will be utterly serious. She doesn't know why you would do that. It's a curiosity to her. But if you explain that you "didn't want to walk" you might get any number of responses from her, but whatever she says you will leave the altercation feeling that your character and love for "God's world" has been called into serious question.

I hope no one takes offense at this post. It is meant to be humorous. And I hope you do not take offense to the fact that I live and work on a college campus and I drive to work every day.

*As to the "accepting a ride" situation I postulate that to girls accepting a ride is kinda like declaring "I really want to date you" and so they avoid it at all costs, which is the same reason they will most likely refuse to wear your coat/sweatshirt no matter how cold they are and how many layers you are wearing.