Seasons

Just to give credit where credit is due, the inspiration from this blogpost came from comments made by my friend John Forester.

A lot of times we think that we need to really get our act together with God. We think that we are far away from him at times, or that maybe things would be going better for us spiritually if we could just get have a little more time with him or know a little more about the Bible. And maybe those things might make us feel better, but in reality we can't be any closer to God than we already are.

As John said "We are already as in with him as we will ever be." We don't need to wait for more of God because we already have access to all that there is--even when it doesn't feel that way.

Most people would probably tell you that winter happens because the earth moves away from the sun. But actually it's the opposite. In the Northern Hemisphere the earth is actually closer to the sun than at any other time of the year. The difference is that we are tilted away from it at an angle, and its rays hit us indirectly.

So really, when we are coldest, and feel the farthest away from the sun, the truth of the matter is that we are very close, we are just turned away, but when we turn to face the sun again in the summer, we can be warmed and rejuvenated by its rays no matter the distance.

Many times it feels like we are going through a spiritual "winter" in which God seems far away. But that's never actually the case. God is as close now as He has ever been or as He ever will be. But you must turn and face him directly. Just like the planet, our spiritual life will have different seasons. Though, I probably wouldn’t set my calendar on them. They are probably a little less predictable

insanity

I've been taking a lot of flack lately from my one and only existing fan because it's been a long time since I've blogged last. Apparently it was a lot easier for me to find time to blog when I was single and unemployed.

But I would like to take this time to share with y'all* my most recent adventure.

I've tried everything I could think of to lose weight except for eating right and exercising. I realized however that these strategies weren't working. The irregular schedule and plethora of free food available to the student affairs professional has been working against me this year and I'm thinking about getting t-shirts for everyone at ACSD that says "body by student affairs."

So last week I tried something drastic. Cortney and I stated doing the workout program "insanity." For those of you who don't know "insanity" is a workout created by the American Government to torture captives in Guantanamo Bay. It's a work-out video where a bunch of rock hard abs with bodies attached to them shout encouragement while your stamina and self esteem plummet through the floor.

The secret to Insanity is that you have to be in really good shape before you can start working out. Now anyone who likes this product or is trying to sell it will assure you this isn't true. They'll say things like "no it's for everyone" or "just do what you can do." This is the equivalent of encouraging some one who hasn't worked out in a while to run a "beginners marathon" or just "take it easy" while running the bulls in Spain...with a piano on your back... and breathing through a straw.

I don't know exactly HOW effective this workout is yet because we've only done it two days but I have thrown up some, so I have lost at least a little weight. So far I have attempted two times to make it through the first session. I made it about half way through the second time, and I was pretty pleased with my progress. My "jumps" and "lunges" probably looked more like a sleepy bear trying to do the Macarena but it was progress. Cortney had to stop when I stopped through because the sound of throwing up grosses her out.

Did I mention that the first session is just a "fit test"?

This is why I am working on a new line of work-out videos called "sanity" be on the lookout for these casual "get fit gradually" videos that will be sure to make your work-out more enjoyable.

Each video will contain 3 separate 8 minute workouts (most of which will be cool down stretching) and will be geared towards what we all really want in a workout--the feeling that you actually did something.

As you shuffle from side to side and take water breaks you'll hear me shout encouraging phrases like "hey those shorts look great!" and "how about another energy drink!" If you include getting changed, firing up the DVD player, taking a shower, and chugging a chocolate protein shake, you'll have spent a solid 25 minutes working out. Enough to convince YOUR spouse and friends that you are serious about this fitness thing.

Sign up today for the "SANITY" newsletter!

SANITY--a workout that never lost its mind.



*That's Texas for "to whom it may concern"

Section 5

So, maybe you knew maybe you didn't, one of the reason I've been blogging so little lately is because I'm trying to take a lot of these blog thoughts and turn them into something longer. I don't want to say I'm writing a book because then I feel pretentious and like I think I take myself too seriously. Maybe I can say that I'm writing a book as long as no one ever thinks I expect to write a GOOD book.

Still to risky. Lets just say that I spend time every now and again writing "stuff" and if that "stuff" ever winds up having a spine and a binding, that would be great.

Here is the most recent "stuff." I've written. As always, I'm posting rough drafts of things I haven't even read back to myself yet. The only advice I ever hear for people who want to write is "just keep writing, don't worry if it's good or bad. Get it down on paper. Later you can look at it again and figure out what to do with it. But if you write something bad you're a lot closer than if you wrote nothing." So I'm trying to power my way through and I'll take a look at all of this later.

The reason I keep putting it here? Because I feel kinda bad that I've been ignoring my blog and I want both of you who still check it to see that there is a "legit" reason.

But anyway, I suppose I've given you all enough disclaimers for the rest of my life. If you actually want to look in on what I'm doing, here is the most recent section. My next blog post will probably be about the next section I write.

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1K2cv7vQGcAvSCK3lFZtRt4MM9pRQZ_iXilZRkzfs7ak/edit?hl=en_US&authkey=CICjhKsG

Because no one is reading anyway

Hey friends

here is a link to my next "section"

I should point out though that these sections are still very very rough ideas. As I read through them I realize that there are all kinds of problems with the writing and things I should do differently, stuff I should include, etc.. So if you don't want to read something riddled with mistakes I would probably just move on past this one.

Section 4

Game Plan

So I often times rub up against the idea of God's will in our lives. I say "rub up" because I don't really have the theological wherewithal to really tackle that issue and I'm not really sure what i would say about it if I did. So I kinda skirt around the issue and make a tangental point. And that's what I'm going to do again.

I've been wondering for a long time, "How does one approach life if you are going to be looking for God's will, which is unknown? How does one make decisions? And what does it really look like to be open to God's will in a situation where you already had your own plans?

Once again I will rely on my two oldest and most trusted friends. Metaphors and Jim Tressel.

When Jim makes a game-plan, he does his research, he studies the other team, he prepares, and he comes up with a strategy and plan for the upcoming Saturday based on the knowledge he has, and his best guesswork on how the future is going to unfold. He uses past experience and all the powers at his human disposal to figure out the best way to get his team ready to win (and he dos so quite admirably I would say)

However, when the game comes, Jim doesn't just stick with the plan if it isn't working. And he doesn't script out an entire game's worth of plays. Instead he reads the situation as it unfolds and takes what the other team gives him. If the running game isn't working, he moves to the passing game. Game plans were meant to be tweaked, and if necessary, discarded.

What shall we say then? That coaches shouldn't make game-plans? That they should just wing it when they get to the game? By no means! The planning and preparation that takes place before helps to bring context to split decisions. Preparing is good stewardship and it shows that you are doing your best with the resources you have.

In real life you might not always be hearing the voice of God telling you what to do at every moment. In those instances you have to do your best with what you have. You need to marshal your resources, past experience, and knowledge to do what you think is best even if you are unsure what that is. The future is unknowable, and sometimes even the present is foggy.

Making a plan for the future, or picking a way to proceed at the present is not the absence of trust, it is the presence of responsibility and common sense. However, one needs to be able to abandon the "plan" at a moments notice when and if it becomes clear that God wants something else. How will you know? You might not. But over committing to your own plans isn't a way to find out. Actually it's ust a goof way to lose a ball game.

In case anyone is interested

Hey friends

Not sure if anyone cares, but if you do I finished "section 3" of "my files" (which is what I call the stuff I write because I'm too realistic to call it a book)

I'll admit, I think it's got some decent ideas but towards the end I think it will make you say "wait, did we change topics while I wasn't paying attention? That kinda just turned into something else. I think a little editing is in order here."

You're right. A lot of editing is in order. In fact, you don't have to read it. But what's the point of having a blog if you won't post your writing on it?

Feel free not to click on this link, I won't be offended, and I probably wont ask you if you read it or not. But if you DO want to read more of my "not book" Just click...

Here

Victory over the South!

I come today to tell you a story of perseverance and determination. A story about the underdog. A story of a young man who wouldn't take "no" for an answer.

Today, I got my driver's licence in the mail.

For those of you who don't know, it is Texas state law that all working residents who wish to drive must have their TEXAS issued driver's licence within 90 days. It took Cortney and I a little over 240 days.

Join me as I recount this epic tale of daring do and heroism.

1) Cortney and I went to the Texas DMV, but they told us that we needed to get our vehicles inspected first
(In Texas, you need to pay money to have someone tell you that your vehicle is "ok" to drive once a year.)

2) So we went to three places that we had been told inspected vehicles. ($20 each)

3) The third place agreed to inspect MY vehicle but would not inspect Cortney's because she didn't have proof of insurance.

4) Cortney's parents sent her a copy of her insurance card

5) I asked if I could get another copy of my "inspection certificate" (I thought I had lost mine)

6) You cannot get a copy of your inspection certificate, they have to call "The state" and cancel it so they can charge you for a new one.

7) I found my inspection certificate.

8) We went back to the DMV where they told us we needed to register our vehicles first

9) They told us we couldn't register our vehicles without speaking directly to our insurance agent since we were out of state

10) Cortney did not have adequate coverage

11) we bought new insurance for Texas

12) Cortney registered her car for another $130

13 I couldn't register my car because my car was still in my dad's name

14) My dad couldn't transfer the car to my name because he no longer had a copy of the registration (I had it)

15) My dad and I met over thanksgiving so Ohio certify that Dad gave me his Car

16) Texas would not accept the title transfer without a gift receipt.

17) We applied for a driver's licence ($30 each)

18) Three weeks later it arrived in the mail.

I still haven't registered my car, and Cortney's car is still in her maiden name but whose counting? We can drive now!

Another thought on Humility

In graduate school I was asked to define humility in my own words. That means that I can't steal Paul's words in Phil. where he describes Jesus taking on the very nature of a servant and humbling himself to death on a cross. It also means I can't steal C.S. Lewis' words where he said that Humility isn't thinking less of yourself, it's thinking about yourself less. And it also means that I shouldn't use the story about the boat and ballast again, because I ripped that off of John Piper (who in turn, most likely ripped it off of someone else).

No I had to put it into my own words. And here it is. I believe that humility is seeing yourself ACCURATELY.

I think everyone knows that it is not humble to think better of yourself than you deserve. But can it be just as wrong to think less of yourself than what you deserve? If the God of the universe wants to say that I'm gifted at something, who am I to disagree? If the Lord made someone pretty darn good looking, why would they pretend that they weren't? Is it humble to think that I can mess up what God intended to be good? Do I think that I can be SO screwed up that God can't use me or that my skills, talents, qualities, or gifts are anything less than what He intended them to be?

You would probably be quick to point out (accurately) that I am missing something here. When we say things like "good looking" or "talented" we mean in comparison to other people right? I'm pretty sure that you (steve) have told us in the past not to compare.

Well you're right. The only person you should compare yourself to is God. Turns out, you will NOT stack up, because you are a pathetic sinner, and you will realize that you are totally dependent supplicant relying on grace. But in His goodness, God allowed you to have some sparks of light and personhood that show that to Him, at least, you are well worth redeeming. And that's an accurate view of yourself. One cannot HAVE an accurate view of oneself unless it is in a context that also includes God.

The book I'm reading Steward Leadership talks about how the Devil is very satisfied if he is able to make us think more of ourselves or less of ourselves than we ought to. Pride is great for Satan, but so is self deprecation and lack of self worth. In fact, anything that he can do to through us off our game works for him. So we need to keep looking in the mirror.

What is a spiritual mirror you ask? Perhaps God, Perhaps the Bible, Perhaps prayer...I'm not sure. What do you think?

Parable about Swimming

Another analogy, if you will permit me. I’ve been thinking about how I would describe “the law” and how I would describe the guilt I sometimes feel for not measuring up to the person I wish to be. If you are like me (and I know that some of you are) you regularly struggle with the idea of not being good enough and are exhausted by the idea of striving towards something unobtainable. Although we know that the sinless life is impossible, that doesn’t stop us from wanting to get as close as possible, and it doesn’t stop us from feeling guilty. In fact, guilt is a sign of an impossible goal, so feeling guilty about not being perfect kind of seems to add up.

An word picture I’ve been using recently to describe the Christian life was jumping to the moon. No matter how hard you tried, you are not getting there on your own, and even though trying harder might be good to show that you seriously care about getting there, the smart thing to do would be to just get in a rocket ship and have someone else fly you there.

I’m going to tweak that picture a little bit and go with a swimming race instead.

Lets saw God created man, but because man was such a sinner, there was a separation between us. A big one. Lets say, just for kicks, that God lives in California. He said “Hey guys, you can do this the easy way or the hard way. You can either try to swim over here, or I can swim back and forth and pull you along on a rope. The choice is yours, but just to let you know, there is no way you are going to make it on your own.”

Man says “sounds like a good deal, but I don’t want to be a burden/I really want to try to do this on my own/I don’t think I deserve a free ride/I don’t honestly believe you/ I need the workout anyway, etc....

And so he decided to swim for himself.

Everyone drowned.

The thing is, even though everyone drowned, people were pretty sure that it was still doable. Maybe people had almost made it. Maybe they just needed to try a little bit harder. Maybe a little bit more training would make the difference. After all, no one really knew how big the Pacific Ocean was, and they always figured that China couldn’t be THAT far away or else God wouldn’t have asked us to swim there in the first place.

God thought this was odd, and wanted to convince everyone that they really really were going to drown if they tried to swim on their own. So he set up a swimming lane with mile markers. He gave them a path, he let them know how far they had swum so far, and even let them know how much further they had to go. The point of this was, people would hopefully realize that even the best swimmers never even made it %1 of the way there. The swimming lane was supposed to convince people to let Jesus pull them along himself instead of them trying to make the impossible swim.

And for some people it worked. Other people misinterpreted it as a death sentence “Don’t go in that swimming lane or you’ll drown. God put it there to kill us.” Although that was...somewhat true, it entirely missed the point.

Other people thought they understood the point but still weren’t able to embrace it in it’s entirety. They asked Jesus to come pull them along, but as they were being pulled along they kept trying to keep up with Jesus. They felt bad that he was doing all the hard work and wanted to be part of it too. They said “I’d feel better if I pitched in some too. After all, this guy shouldn’t have to carry me the whole way all by himself!”

But these people felt terrible. They realized pretty quickly that compared to Jesus, they were awful swimmers. And some of them felt like no matter how hard they tried, they weren’t really getting a lot better either. They felt guilty and stupid as they get dragged along like a floating log and knew that despite their best efforts they were really just weighing Jesus down. They would think to themselves “ok I’ll just try to swim really good for a mile, that will help....ok maybe a half mile....or a quarter. I can’t do anything right, why even bother trying?”

They were appalled at the idea of asking for Jesus’ help and then taking advantage of Him by completely ignoring him and doing their own thing over the course of their whole trip. They had seen people do this in the past and they thought it was awful. They didn’t want to be insincere and ungrateful deadbeats that napped or goofed off through a free ride.

But there was another alternative. There were a few people that actually enjoyed the ride. These people knew that they didn’t have to swim, but they did anyway because it was fun. They thought “This Jesus guy is pretty great, and he’s a good swimmer, I’m going to try to be like him.” But as their arms failed and their muscles got tired, instead of concentrating on their failure they just became more impressed with the man that was pulling them along, and as mile after mile passed by they said “wow, this guy is really something else... I could NEVER have done this by myself. What a cool ride! I hope this guy goes back to get my friends because I’m pretty sure we’d all be in trouble without him.” And so, when they were able, these people would swim along, not to help Jesus, not to catch up to him, but to share the journey with him, because it felt right. When these people became exhausted it was not the exhaustion of failure, but the exhaustion of a day well spent playing with friends, skiing, biking, playing basketball, or whatever your favorite activity is. Going to bed tired with muscles that are sore from fun is an entirely different feeling than going to be tired from muscles that are sore from unfinished work.

And so the point of the swimming lane, was to convince people of their own inadequacy, and to give them some type of idea, some measurement, some way that they could at least begin to grasp the glory of God and what he had done for them. It was life giving and inspiring. And every failure, every mile missed or every time one had to stop swimming, should have been a reminder of God’s power and His mercy, not another fresh indictment or reminder of guilt. For he did not put out a swimming lane to dishearten anyone, but he came so that he could bring life, and bring it abundantly.

Steward Leadership

Hey friends. I apologize again for my long hiatus. My terrible catch 22 is that I love it when people read my blog. But once you have drawn a legion of faithful readers, it becomes quite stressful to make sure that you are constantly satisfying their need for enlightenment and entertainment.

Sadly, because Cortney and I have started "getting a life" down here in Texas, we are busier than we used to be, and my blogposts will likely be less frequent than the glory days of living in my mother's basement. Don't think for a moment that I am debating "killing" the blog, but just know that checking it every morning with baited breath is likely to leave you disappointed more often than not. If any of y'all* are tech savvy enough to have your computer notify you when I post new material, I'm thinking that would be a good route for you to go.

But anyway. I want to talk about Steward Leadership.** I know that by now we have all heard of the idea of servant leadership. And I am not saying in any way that servant leadership is not an accurate view of what we are called to do as Christians in leadership. I just want to take this idea a little bit further and consider "stewardship" to be the particular kind of service we render when we are leading.

Stewardship, as we probably know, is the idea of being temporarily entrusted with something that is not yours, so that you can take care of it for the owner. Jesus references this idea when he tells the story of the men entrusted with the gold talents. They are supposed to put the money to good use so that the master will have more when he returns. Only slightly less well known is J.R.R. Tolkien's example of Lord Denathor acting as Steward of Gondor. The king is away (for generations) but whenever he returns, he will find his realm safely managed. Other examples could include house-sitting or baby sitting.

As Christians we use this idea in many different contexts. Usually you hear it coming up in regards to money. Sometimes I poke fun at Christian sub-culture but I'm not going to do that here. I think that talking about stewardship in these ways is entirely appropriate. But now I want to shift our thinking a little bit and consider leadership as a form of stewardship.

When you are a leader you are entrusted (by someone) with something that is not yours. It's easy to understand this when we are in a business setting. A CEO is entrusted with people's jobs, stock values, and the health of the company. But more often people are entrusted with less concrete assets. Coaches are entrusted with the development of their players, the management of the game, and everything that the season entails. Teachers are entrusted with the learning of students (who are not their own children), and project managers are entrusted with other people's time. A lot of the time leaders are entrusted with "soft" resources, but that doesn't make them any less real. Leaders and followers are connected by a contract, whether it is spoken or unspoken, and they both have roles to fulfill.

The reason I like talking about this in terms of stewardship is because stewardship immediately brings two things to the forefront.

1) Humility
2) Accountability

Stewards are taking care of things that aren't theirs. If you don't know what it means to be humbled by stewardship, I'd like to invite you to imagine a scenario in which you are trusted with something way over your head. Imagine that somebody put you in charge of a fortune 500 company, and you had to figure out how to manage millions and millions of dollars, or else thousands of people would lose their job. Imagine that you have been trusted with the role of general, and millions of lives hang in the balance every time you make a decision. People will die no matter what you choose, but people will question "was it worth it?" Now think a little more realistically, what if a good friend of yours was sick and dying, and he asked you to take care of his family when he was gone.

Are you humbled yet?

Accountability means that you will answer to the people who trust you. House sitting would be a lot easier if the owners never came home. You could let the plants die and let the dog pee all over the rug. You don't care, it's not your house and no one will know. But the owners will come back. People can lose their jobs or their lives, children can have their soccer season ruined, school projects might get a D-, ministries can flounder, and people can have really burnt hot-dogs if you are the one watching the grille. And you are prepared to look at the disgust on their faces when they bite into the hot-dog that YOU so carelessly burned? I'm not...and to think that I trusted you.





*Texas speak
**This was a term I came up with last week. I was pretty sure that I was going to be the next paradigm shifting Christian author but some other guy beat me to it last year. So, read "the Steward Leader" and pretend I wrote it. That will make me feel better about missing yet another opportunity to write a book due to poor timing/lack of talent/lack of initiative.

But for the Grace of God...

After coming back from Christmas break, I have begun reading the book "Prodigal God" which is what we were discussing at the student development retreat. I feel like this book will be shaping the things that I think and write about for a while.

I question some of the authors assumptions, because he claims to have a very great understanding of the inner workings of the heart of everyone in the parable even though some of them are only mentioned for a few sentences. But that's fine. If he wants to say he can read minds of fictional characters from the ancient near east, he's free to do so.

He does make a few really really good points while he's at it though. One of the things he mentions is that it is impossible to truly forgive others when you think that you are better than them.

If I think to myself that the sins of others are the types of things that I would never ever do, that I am not even capable of such sins, that I am so morally superior that I couldn't be guilty of the same kinds of things that my fellow man is guilty of, then it looks like not only will I be rather short on forgiveness, but also I don't really understand the Gospel.

There are lots of sins that there is no way I would commit...now. However, who knows how I could change over time given enough pressure and temptation. The only thing protecting me from falling deeper into sin* is undeserved grace.

Think of it this way. Some people don’t have jobs because they are lazy bums. But that is probably not the biggest reason for unemployment. Sometimes businesses shut down or downsize, people get laid off, and other places aren’t hiring. In our current recession it’s easier to visualize this. But lets take it a step further and remember the great depression. Unemployment was 25% and those who had jobs were wondering if theirs was going to be the next company that went under.

Let’s pretend that the company you work for is still doing ok, but a lot of your friends have been losing their jobs and some of them have been losing their homes. In such uncertain times you realize that you might not have a job next week, but you are very thankful that you have one now. You might be one bad fiscal year from the breadline and two years from living under an overpass. But right now you are safe and secure, because your boss says that everything is ok, and you are going to be taken care of.

If that were the case, would you look down on people who didn’t have a job? Would you call them lazy? Would you think that they were uneducated misfits who were just living off the government because they had a stupid sense of entitlement? Or would you have empathy, because if things had shaken down a little bit differently, that could have been you?

But for the Grace of God, there go I.

An understanding of the Gospel, and the ability to receive true forgiveness stems from our understanding of our own depravity. I may not have committed sin “X” and hopefully I never will, but if circumstances change drastically (and they can) who knows what I would be capable of doing? Maybe I would even commit that sin I swore I never would commit.

Armed with that knowledge, let us forgive whole heartedly without a feeling of condescending superiority. Let us forgive as ones who have been forgiven, and who will need more forgiveness in the future. At let us forgive as ones who realize that God and circumstances, undeserved Grace, are the only things that separate us from the sins that we so despise.



*And the only thing saving me when I do fall into it