sandpaper

Y0u know what Christians are ironically great at? Feeling guilty. On the one hand it makes sense because our religion makes us terribly aware of just how far we've fallen. It's kinda the point of the law. But at the same time it's odd because we firmly believe that we are the only people in the entire world that are forgiven, and going to Heaven. Yet we spend a lot of time feeling guilty.

Guilt isn't all bad. People will not undergo the pain of change unless the pain of staying the same is greater. So guilt is a motivation for change in our Christian lives. But I think it's overused.

The reason this comes to mind is that I was frustrated with the fact that I'm a "bad Christian." I don't care about other people as much as I should, I'm not as humble as other people, I'm not as nice as other people, I don't get into the Bible as much as some other guys that I know and I'm certainly not as enthusiastic for anything that involves "volunteering." The words "Service project" makes me suddenly find reasons to be very busy, and I generally leave church services immediately upon being dismissed.

It's so easy to compare myself to others who do better than me at aspects of their Christian walk. And I guess that's where guilt as a change agent can be useful. But honestly I think it's overdone. It's true that we SHOULD all improve as much as possible to be the best we can be, but to be honest I think the process is more important than the product.

To say that God doesn't care how much we sin is to take this idea too far and put words in my mouth (which is already full of Frito's, so don't try). As Paul would say "[mae ganoita]" (which translates roughly to "may it never be."*) No, I think God cares very much when we sin. But since trying to earn you way into his grace is like trying to cut down a red-wood with a piece of sand-paper I'm thinking that instead of being upset with the DEGREE of our failure he might be more interested in how earnestly we sought him and how we discovered him while we were failing.

So while I spend all day being sad that my sand-paper isn't course enough, God cuts down the tree with a chainsaw and invites everyone to come inside and have dinner with him. And if this makes you view God as a huge lumberjack...we'll that's kinda funny.



*It REALLY translates to "Hell no" but you know...Paul was a bit of a potty mouth

Under Pressure

Please listen to the Queen song "Under pressure" whilst reading this entry. It's a good song, and yes, it does have the same beat as Ice ice baby, but "Vanilla" claims that he didn't rip it off. He maintains that there is subtle difference. I don't hear it.

But anyway, I write now to reflect on my lack of reflection. I'm so busy right now that it seems that I haven't had time to write on my blog (and unfortunately this might become an increasingly common trend for the duration of this semester).

But when I do get a few minutes I sit down and try to think of something meaningful or humorous to report I draw a blank. I think that I'm not actually too busy to spend 20 minutes writing, but I AM making myself too busy to process what's happening in my life in a meaningful way. I feel that because of the amount of reading, learning, working, and questioning that a student activities coordinator/ full time grad-student does, I am nothing more than a battle ground on which ideas contend. I would much rather be a soil for ideas to grow.

Some guy smarter and more respected than I once said "Abraham Lincoln was an extremely deep man because he read so little." Meaning that Abe didn't have many ideas taking up space in his head. He spent a lot of time internalizing and exploring a few concepts that were important to him.

If I want to be like that maybe I should get into this whole "Sabbath" thing. I heard that God recommends it.

For your consideration

Although my opinion on this topic might be evident, don't think that I'm preaching to you here, this is actually a question "for your consideration."

But I had a talk with a guy the other day who said that to take care of your body was a Godly thing to do. Ok, I'm with you so far. But I've heard people (usually men) say that staying in good shape by running and staying thin are things that are expected of you as a Christian. In fact they can go so far as to say "I expect my wife to stay in shape and to exercise." None of the men I have ever heard say this have been married, and actually I don't think any of them had girlfriends either. Of course they always follow up with "I expect to stay in shape myself; I'm not holder her to a higher standard.

1 Cor: 6:19 tells us that our body is a temple of God. But people debate what this means. Some say you can't drink, smoke, or get tattoos. Some say you have to work out. Fitness as a Christian virtue.

Possibly...and I bet many of you have heard this argument before. but here's the little kicker observation I have for you. I have never heard ANYONE say this unless they were already the kind of person who is very fit and works out. This is a popular opinion among wash-board abbed single men, possibly on the track team.

Doesn't make it wrong. But you hear people speak of their struggle with lust or pride. People talk about their struggle with believing lies about their self-worth (body image, defining themselves in things apart from God, etc...). People talk about their struggle with jealousy or possessiveness. I have never heard anyone talk about their struggle with weight as a spiritual issue. Only people who are doing well at it regard it as a "Godly or Biblical principle"

But maybe the blame isn't on them. Maybe they are actually right and those of us who buy "loose fit" jeans don't want to admit that something like food and our sedentary life-style could actually be considered sinful. We call thoughts like that "legalistic" (and there is NOTHING Christians hate more than legalism).

People in outrageous credit card debt rarely talk about poor money management being a spiritual issue, but since most of us don't live like that we have no problem calling it out.

And yet, I've seen some un-Christ-like attitudes from the "healthy" that I think stem directly from this belief.*

I'm not passing judgement here...YOU pass judgement. But just so you all know how I roll until I'm convinced otherwise (and I'm open to that): if my wife is gonna carry my children she can get as fat as she wants, as long as she doesn't judge me for "going to seed" myself.


*I'm not talking about you Eric, although we did have a conversation about this.

Stuff Girls Like III: Engagements

Whoa don't get me wrong, it makes a lot of sense for a girl to be excited about her engagement. In fact, I'm suspecting that if I somehow find myself engaged one day, I'll probably be pretty excited. Though I hope I'm not surprised by it.

But that's not what I'm talking about.

I'm talking about the fact the engagement of two people slightly tangential to your life deciding to spend the rest of THEIR lives together is cause for YOU to celebrate. And if you don't think so, you don't believe in love.

Now it is, of course, more exciting if you KNOW the people engaged, and it's MOST exciting when they are two fictional characters on a highly rated prime time show on NBC. I know this for a fact because I spent about ten minutes quizzing two girls on the best engagements ever. Pam and Jim rank above everything except room-mates and immediate family.

But even when you aren't fortunate enough to know the people getting engaged, you can still be excited. Because people you don't know deciding to spend their lives together is as exciting finding out that Michigan lost a football game.

Sometimes when Cortney is having a bad day I simply make up people and tell her they are engaged.

"Guess what honey? Galvin Gunhold and Susanne Deetz just got engaged!"

"Oh, that's so fun! Are we going to the wedding? Can we walk there?"

Buffalo buffalo...

It has been submitted to me by a reader (whom I have not seen in three years) that "Buffalo" was a disappointing entry name because it in no way pertained to the fact that one can write an entire sentence using only the word Buffalo. Well Chris, here you go.

"Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo."

Believe it or not folks, this sentence is grammatically correct. It has been discussed by linguist buffs with entirely too much time on their hands since an William J. Rapaport, an associate English professor from the city of Buffalo, first used it in 1972.*

It takes advantage of the fact that the word Buffalo is

1) a noun (the animal) which is spelled the same whether singular or plural
2) A proper noun, Buffalo New York
3) A verb meaning, to bully or to intimidate.

This sentence, although correct reads awkwardly because it does not make any use of articles or determiners.

Lets see what happens when we put them back in

Buffalo buffalo that Buffalo buffalo buffalo also buffalo buffalo

or more specifically

Buffalo from Buffalo, that are buffaloed by buffalo from Buffalo, also buffalo buffalo from Buffalo

Now I will replace the city of Buffalo with "Upland" and the animal buffalo with "people" and the verb buffalo with "bully"

People from upland, that are bulled by other people in upland, still bully yet OTHER people in upland themselves.

In essence, these buffalo are total jerks. Even though these other bully buffalo are picking on them, they spin right around and pick on other dumber, smaller buffalo. My question is, are all buffalo total butt wipes or is there something particularly venomous about the ones that hail from Buffalo?

Thank you Chris for your astute observation, and screw you English language for being so freaking complicated. You wonder why immigrants haven't learned English yet? Cause Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo.



*I am not making this up

Buffalo

Recently my good friend, Benjamin Robert Taylor, asked me to guest lecture in his class about the Foundations of Christian thought. But then he punked out on me and only gave me seven minutes. He told me: "Convince them to make the most of their Taylor experience, suck the marrow out of the bones of it and use a piece of bread to sop up the leftovers at the bottom of the bowl."

Poetic

So I kinda rambled about some stuff but reflecting on the experience has lead me to a conclusion.

Make a buffalo out of everything that happens to you. For those of you who didn't take Ohio history in forth grade and learn about the Adena and the Hopewell Indians (the mound builders) some of you may not know that when the indians killed a buffalo they used every single part of the animal for something. Nothing went to waste. Not a single sinew or hair. Although they also worshiped trees and junk so we should take whatever the Indians did with a grain of salt.

I had a great Taylor experience. I did all the stuff that you are supposed to do to be the stereotypical student and get pictured in the brochure. (Though I was never actually IN the brochure, try as I might) But I had some hard things happen to me, while I was in college and I didn't have your typical "Taylor home life."

My older sister didn't have a typical Taylor experience. She didn't really experience the "community" we brag about. And come to think of it I can remember a lot of people with different stories who didn't really enjoy the school in the same way I did. But we all had the opportunity to learn something about ourselves and about God though the experience if we wanted to.

The problem is a lot of people didn't take advantage of that. Even the people with the "typical experience" didn't really reflect on it. They had fun and they moved on. But that's a choice. And a bunch of different stuff happens to all of us. A family member dies, you get a promotion, you have a kid, you lose a kid, you move to a new place, you have lots of job stress, you are lonely, you are happy, you feel like God is far away etc... But you can choose to take every element of that experience and honor God with it. Asking him "how can I learn from this?"

Taylor is just one example. We kill buffaloes every day. Don't waste them.

Tacober 1st

For all of you avid readers that are deeply interested in my life, today is the birthday of my girlfriend, the beautiful Cortney Michelle Korshak.

Now, I could wax on for quite some time about the virtues of this wonderful woman. And in fact I sometimes do. But she gets embarrassed very easily, and it has occurred to me that SOME people might not be as interested in her as I am, which I admit would be hard, because I find her pretty dang interesting (interesting, enchanting, beautiful, intoxicating, etc...).

So instead I offer this insight. I don't know much about dating, and I haven't done much of it, but I think many of us "good Christians" (including myself) have over spiritualized the concept without truly grasping what a great tool for spiritual growth it can be.

I went to a Christian college, my observation: Christian's make dating weird. Getting married is a life altering decision. Going out with a girl spring of your sophomore year is NOT a life altering experience. You can seek God's will all you want but if you don't get any handwriting on the wall it's FINE, just date her if you like her. If you change your mind later...dump her. Everyone will cry but that doesn't make it a mistake.

But at the same time, despite the fact that I treated dating almost like a sacrament, I never understood how God could use a relationship to teach me about myself, and about Him.
Learning to love someone different from yourself means learning about yourself. It means finding out why those "differences" matter and if any of them are things in you that need to change.

Also, I believe that God gives us ALL KINDS of relationships so we can understand Him. We wouldn't understand the love of the father unless we actually had earthly fathers, we wouldn't understand brotherly love without brothers. Husband and wife, mother and child, friend to friend, these are all relationships that model the God's love for us. As I actively pursue a relationship with Cortney it sometimes occurs to me "how much more so is God pursuing me, and how bad must it feel when I reject him?" The more I have applied this to every relationship in my life the more true it seems to be. I think if I were going to guess God's motivation I would guess that he planned it that way on purpose.

Oh well, enough of my thoughts. Cortney is 22 today, if any of you see her wish her a happy birthday.

(Dear Cortney: Sorry you are embarrassed, but happy birthday, I love you)