Whoa don't get me wrong, it makes a lot of sense for a girl to be excited about her engagement. In fact, I'm suspecting that if I somehow find myself engaged one day, I'll probably be pretty excited. Though I hope I'm not surprised by it.
But that's not what I'm talking about.
I'm talking about the fact the engagement of two people slightly tangential to your life deciding to spend the rest of THEIR lives together is cause for YOU to celebrate. And if you don't think so, you don't believe in love.
Now it is, of course, more exciting if you KNOW the people engaged, and it's MOST exciting when they are two fictional characters on a highly rated prime time show on NBC. I know this for a fact because I spent about ten minutes quizzing two girls on the best engagements ever. Pam and Jim rank above everything except room-mates and immediate family.
But even when you aren't fortunate enough to know the people getting engaged, you can still be excited. Because people you don't know deciding to spend their lives together is as exciting finding out that Michigan lost a football game.
Sometimes when Cortney is having a bad day I simply make up people and tell her they are engaged.
"Guess what honey? Galvin Gunhold and Susanne Deetz just got engaged!"
"Oh, that's so fun! Are we going to the wedding? Can we walk there?"
Sunday, October 12, 2008
Friday, October 10, 2008
Buffalo buffalo...
It has been submitted to me by a reader (whom I have not seen in three years) that "Buffalo" was a disappointing entry name because it in no way pertained to the fact that one can write an entire sentence using only the word Buffalo. Well Chris, here you go.
"Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo."
Believe it or not folks, this sentence is grammatically correct. It has been discussed by linguist buffs with entirely too much time on their hands since an William J. Rapaport, an associate English professor from the city of Buffalo, first used it in 1972.*
It takes advantage of the fact that the word Buffalo is
1) a noun (the animal) which is spelled the same whether singular or plural
2) A proper noun, Buffalo New York
3) A verb meaning, to bully or to intimidate.
This sentence, although correct reads awkwardly because it does not make any use of articles or determiners.
Lets see what happens when we put them back in
Buffalo buffalo that Buffalo buffalo buffalo also buffalo buffalo
or more specifically
Buffalo from Buffalo, that are buffaloed by buffalo from Buffalo, also buffalo buffalo from Buffalo
Now I will replace the city of Buffalo with "Upland" and the animal buffalo with "people" and the verb buffalo with "bully"
People from upland, that are bulled by other people in upland, still bully yet OTHER people in upland themselves.
In essence, these buffalo are total jerks. Even though these other bully buffalo are picking on them, they spin right around and pick on other dumber, smaller buffalo. My question is, are all buffalo total butt wipes or is there something particularly venomous about the ones that hail from Buffalo?
Thank you Chris for your astute observation, and screw you English language for being so freaking complicated. You wonder why immigrants haven't learned English yet? Cause Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo.
*I am not making this up
"Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo."
Believe it or not folks, this sentence is grammatically correct. It has been discussed by linguist buffs with entirely too much time on their hands since an William J. Rapaport, an associate English professor from the city of Buffalo, first used it in 1972.*
It takes advantage of the fact that the word Buffalo is
1) a noun (the animal) which is spelled the same whether singular or plural
2) A proper noun, Buffalo New York
3) A verb meaning, to bully or to intimidate.
This sentence, although correct reads awkwardly because it does not make any use of articles or determiners.
Lets see what happens when we put them back in
Buffalo buffalo that Buffalo buffalo buffalo also buffalo buffalo
or more specifically
Buffalo from Buffalo, that are buffaloed by buffalo from Buffalo, also buffalo buffalo from Buffalo
Now I will replace the city of Buffalo with "Upland" and the animal buffalo with "people" and the verb buffalo with "bully"
People from upland, that are bulled by other people in upland, still bully yet OTHER people in upland themselves.
In essence, these buffalo are total jerks. Even though these other bully buffalo are picking on them, they spin right around and pick on other dumber, smaller buffalo. My question is, are all buffalo total butt wipes or is there something particularly venomous about the ones that hail from Buffalo?
Thank you Chris for your astute observation, and screw you English language for being so freaking complicated. You wonder why immigrants haven't learned English yet? Cause Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo.
*I am not making this up
Wednesday, October 8, 2008
Buffalo
Recently my good friend, Benjamin Robert Taylor, asked me to guest lecture in his class about the Foundations of Christian thought. But then he punked out on me and only gave me seven minutes. He told me: "Convince them to make the most of their Taylor experience, suck the marrow out of the bones of it and use a piece of bread to sop up the leftovers at the bottom of the bowl."
Poetic
So I kinda rambled about some stuff but reflecting on the experience has lead me to a conclusion.
Make a buffalo out of everything that happens to you. For those of you who didn't take Ohio history in forth grade and learn about the Adena and the Hopewell Indians (the mound builders) some of you may not know that when the indians killed a buffalo they used every single part of the animal for something. Nothing went to waste. Not a single sinew or hair. Although they also worshiped trees and junk so we should take whatever the Indians did with a grain of salt.
I had a great Taylor experience. I did all the stuff that you are supposed to do to be the stereotypical student and get pictured in the brochure. (Though I was never actually IN the brochure, try as I might) But I had some hard things happen to me, while I was in college and I didn't have your typical "Taylor home life."
My older sister didn't have a typical Taylor experience. She didn't really experience the "community" we brag about. And come to think of it I can remember a lot of people with different stories who didn't really enjoy the school in the same way I did. But we all had the opportunity to learn something about ourselves and about God though the experience if we wanted to.
The problem is a lot of people didn't take advantage of that. Even the people with the "typical experience" didn't really reflect on it. They had fun and they moved on. But that's a choice. And a bunch of different stuff happens to all of us. A family member dies, you get a promotion, you have a kid, you lose a kid, you move to a new place, you have lots of job stress, you are lonely, you are happy, you feel like God is far away etc... But you can choose to take every element of that experience and honor God with it. Asking him "how can I learn from this?"
Taylor is just one example. We kill buffaloes every day. Don't waste them.
Poetic
So I kinda rambled about some stuff but reflecting on the experience has lead me to a conclusion.
Make a buffalo out of everything that happens to you. For those of you who didn't take Ohio history in forth grade and learn about the Adena and the Hopewell Indians (the mound builders) some of you may not know that when the indians killed a buffalo they used every single part of the animal for something. Nothing went to waste. Not a single sinew or hair. Although they also worshiped trees and junk so we should take whatever the Indians did with a grain of salt.
I had a great Taylor experience. I did all the stuff that you are supposed to do to be the stereotypical student and get pictured in the brochure. (Though I was never actually IN the brochure, try as I might) But I had some hard things happen to me, while I was in college and I didn't have your typical "Taylor home life."
My older sister didn't have a typical Taylor experience. She didn't really experience the "community" we brag about. And come to think of it I can remember a lot of people with different stories who didn't really enjoy the school in the same way I did. But we all had the opportunity to learn something about ourselves and about God though the experience if we wanted to.
The problem is a lot of people didn't take advantage of that. Even the people with the "typical experience" didn't really reflect on it. They had fun and they moved on. But that's a choice. And a bunch of different stuff happens to all of us. A family member dies, you get a promotion, you have a kid, you lose a kid, you move to a new place, you have lots of job stress, you are lonely, you are happy, you feel like God is far away etc... But you can choose to take every element of that experience and honor God with it. Asking him "how can I learn from this?"
Taylor is just one example. We kill buffaloes every day. Don't waste them.
Wednesday, October 1, 2008
Tacober 1st
For all of you avid readers that are deeply interested in my life, today is the birthday of my girlfriend, the beautiful Cortney Michelle Korshak.
Now, I could wax on for quite some time about the virtues of this wonderful woman. And in fact I sometimes do. But she gets embarrassed very easily, and it has occurred to me that SOME people might not be as interested in her as I am, which I admit would be hard, because I find her pretty dang interesting (interesting, enchanting, beautiful, intoxicating, etc...).
So instead I offer this insight. I don't know much about dating, and I haven't done much of it, but I think many of us "good Christians" (including myself) have over spiritualized the concept without truly grasping what a great tool for spiritual growth it can be.
I went to a Christian college, my observation: Christian's make dating weird. Getting married is a life altering decision. Going out with a girl spring of your sophomore year is NOT a life altering experience. You can seek God's will all you want but if you don't get any handwriting on the wall it's FINE, just date her if you like her. If you change your mind later...dump her. Everyone will cry but that doesn't make it a mistake.
But at the same time, despite the fact that I treated dating almost like a sacrament, I never understood how God could use a relationship to teach me about myself, and about Him.
Learning to love someone different from yourself means learning about yourself. It means finding out why those "differences" matter and if any of them are things in you that need to change.
Also, I believe that God gives us ALL KINDS of relationships so we can understand Him. We wouldn't understand the love of the father unless we actually had earthly fathers, we wouldn't understand brotherly love without brothers. Husband and wife, mother and child, friend to friend, these are all relationships that model the God's love for us. As I actively pursue a relationship with Cortney it sometimes occurs to me "how much more so is God pursuing me, and how bad must it feel when I reject him?" The more I have applied this to every relationship in my life the more true it seems to be. I think if I were going to guess God's motivation I would guess that he planned it that way on purpose.
Oh well, enough of my thoughts. Cortney is 22 today, if any of you see her wish her a happy birthday.
(Dear Cortney: Sorry you are embarrassed, but happy birthday, I love you)
Monday, September 29, 2008
Living Comfort Eagle?
Rumor has it that our embaressing LCE site might be getting some much needed attention from two men on boarder on "professionals." It's still not much to speak of, but word on the street is that it will be worth visiting before too long. Just wanted to let you know.
No rest for the Juicy.
No rest for the Juicy.
Saturday, September 27, 2008
Working Out part I
I bet if you are familiar with this blog you think this post is going to be something religious about "working out your faith in fear and trembling." Well it's not.
It's about how stupid weight lifting is.
Background:
1) Steve used to be small but strong when he was in football and lifted daily
2) Steve gradually just became small
3) Steve is gradually shifting from small to "round"
Good now you are caught up to the present.
I'm generally in favor of a lifestyle of laziness and underachievement. From the time I tried to roll onto my back during a wrestling match to avoid a painful hold to the time I prayed my football team would miss a field goal (and therefore the playoffs), I haven't been known for my athletic drive or physical prowess.
But three things have recently fueled my passion to get back into shape.
1) The mini Marathon fiasco of 2007
2) Some of my pants no longer fit and I am too cheap to buy new ones
3) I think Cortney can beat me up.
So I went into the weight room here at good ol' H.U. and was greeted by the welcome scent of "sweat and B.O."* The first thing I noted was that I was smaller than everyone else in the room except in my gut muscles and my butt muscles. However I later learned from a T.V. commercial that those aren't actually muscles. In fact some people spend a lot of money to REDUCE the size of these "non-muscles." The television went on to inform me that these mysterious deposits were not my fault, but that I should be very sad that I have them, and they are almost impossible to get rid of by myself.
But again, I'm cheap. So I'm in the weight room where the average height is about 6'56'' and men may or may not be sculpted from some odd sort of flesh-like rock. And I have discovered why the thin stay thin and the fat get fatter. Working out is only for buff people. You are not welcome to get in shape (in public) unless you are already IN shape. Somewhere perhaps there is a gym were nonathletic people can become athletic, and then perhaps one day they can attend the "beautiful gym," but I'm guessing that no matter what legislation states, these gyms might not be as equal as they are separate.
Somehow I have been able to gain entrance to the forbidden city where big men push barbells like machines and small girls run on ellipticals like gazelles. Perhaps I am the token pudgy kid to ensure that the weakest of the "gods" doesn't suffer from self-esteem issues. So I began to lift.
Two things flooded back to my memory almost immediately. Gravity sucks, and lifting things hurts.
If you are a man and have ever decided to "get in shape" you know about the delicate dance that I now preform in the weight room on a regular basis. I shuffle from apparatus to apparatus wondering which one will hurt the least and if any of them are working muscle groups big enough for me to apply weight in the double digits.
Of course the old male standard, the bench press** is out because it requires a spotter, and therefore embarrassment. And some exercises require complicated muscle movements, weight belts, and grunting. (I have never been good at grunting) But bicep curls are are safe for everyone. Bicep curls are great because you don't have to move much, it hurts in a muscle you actually know the name for, and we've seen them on T.V.
So after I get in a few "reps" while checking myself out in the mirror I make a stop to the drinking fountain, look at the clock, and wonder if it's worth going back in. It isn't. But girls weren't impressed in a day! So I'm back at the leg press, because it can be done sitting down. I also engage in a variety of exercises for which I have no name. So I name them myself. Sometimes I work my "wings" on the "wing machine" doing 3x10 of 30 lbs....It sure FEELS heavy. (And I am unashamed to publish those numbers because you have no idea what I'm talking about.)
After a hard 20 minutes of solid work I'm back at the D.C. building my gut muscles and butt muscles and feeling pretty good about myself. So if you too want to get into shape, I have but one piece of advice for you...bicep curls.
*I have a much more vivid description of this smell but in an effort to keep this blog "G" rated I have abstained from including it. If you would like to know what it really smells like I would recommend taking a sauna with your head in a sleeping bag, or e-mailing me at steve_conn@tayloru.edu
**Quintessential test of manhood
It's about how stupid weight lifting is.
Background:
1) Steve used to be small but strong when he was in football and lifted daily
2) Steve gradually just became small
3) Steve is gradually shifting from small to "round"
Good now you are caught up to the present.
I'm generally in favor of a lifestyle of laziness and underachievement. From the time I tried to roll onto my back during a wrestling match to avoid a painful hold to the time I prayed my football team would miss a field goal (and therefore the playoffs), I haven't been known for my athletic drive or physical prowess.
But three things have recently fueled my passion to get back into shape.
1) The mini Marathon fiasco of 2007
2) Some of my pants no longer fit and I am too cheap to buy new ones
3) I think Cortney can beat me up.
So I went into the weight room here at good ol' H.U. and was greeted by the welcome scent of "sweat and B.O."* The first thing I noted was that I was smaller than everyone else in the room except in my gut muscles and my butt muscles. However I later learned from a T.V. commercial that those aren't actually muscles. In fact some people spend a lot of money to REDUCE the size of these "non-muscles." The television went on to inform me that these mysterious deposits were not my fault, but that I should be very sad that I have them, and they are almost impossible to get rid of by myself.
But again, I'm cheap. So I'm in the weight room where the average height is about 6'56'' and men may or may not be sculpted from some odd sort of flesh-like rock. And I have discovered why the thin stay thin and the fat get fatter. Working out is only for buff people. You are not welcome to get in shape (in public) unless you are already IN shape. Somewhere perhaps there is a gym were nonathletic people can become athletic, and then perhaps one day they can attend the "beautiful gym," but I'm guessing that no matter what legislation states, these gyms might not be as equal as they are separate.
Somehow I have been able to gain entrance to the forbidden city where big men push barbells like machines and small girls run on ellipticals like gazelles. Perhaps I am the token pudgy kid to ensure that the weakest of the "gods" doesn't suffer from self-esteem issues. So I began to lift.
Two things flooded back to my memory almost immediately. Gravity sucks, and lifting things hurts.
If you are a man and have ever decided to "get in shape" you know about the delicate dance that I now preform in the weight room on a regular basis. I shuffle from apparatus to apparatus wondering which one will hurt the least and if any of them are working muscle groups big enough for me to apply weight in the double digits.
Of course the old male standard, the bench press** is out because it requires a spotter, and therefore embarrassment. And some exercises require complicated muscle movements, weight belts, and grunting. (I have never been good at grunting) But bicep curls are are safe for everyone. Bicep curls are great because you don't have to move much, it hurts in a muscle you actually know the name for, and we've seen them on T.V.
So after I get in a few "reps" while checking myself out in the mirror I make a stop to the drinking fountain, look at the clock, and wonder if it's worth going back in. It isn't. But girls weren't impressed in a day! So I'm back at the leg press, because it can be done sitting down. I also engage in a variety of exercises for which I have no name. So I name them myself. Sometimes I work my "wings" on the "wing machine" doing 3x10 of 30 lbs....It sure FEELS heavy. (And I am unashamed to publish those numbers because you have no idea what I'm talking about.)
After a hard 20 minutes of solid work I'm back at the D.C. building my gut muscles and butt muscles and feeling pretty good about myself. So if you too want to get into shape, I have but one piece of advice for you...bicep curls.
*I have a much more vivid description of this smell but in an effort to keep this blog "G" rated I have abstained from including it. If you would like to know what it really smells like I would recommend taking a sauna with your head in a sleeping bag, or e-mailing me at steve_conn@tayloru.edu
**Quintessential test of manhood
Friday, September 26, 2008
Essays on Greatness Part II
Lately there has been some talk around the nation that Ohio State is not actually as great as it seems. People might mention things like "losing" to certain opponents who themselves are unable to win the big games like Thursday night's fiasco against the mighty Oregon State Beavers
But those people are still just jealous of the inherent greatness that IS. The Ohio State Buckeyes. So let me continue to enlighten you with some more "facts" about Ohio and why it should matter to you.
Ohio was the first state admitted to the union under the Northwest Territory act, and it's original postal abbreviation was "O."
Ohio is the home of Cedar Point--Worlds best amusement park.
Ohio is the mother of presidents.
Ohio is the birth place of the wright Brothers, Thomas Eddison, John Glenn, Ulysses S. Grant and others
If the Above is true, then Ohio invented planes, spaceships, light and politics/military strategy.
Ohio was once voted "Most awesomest place ever"*
Buckeyes are a delicious confection made of peanut butter and chocolate
Ohio single-handedly won the Civil War for the union.
During WWII Ohio supplied more troops and produced more ammunition than either Alaska or Costa Rica.
Murder is more illegal in Ohio than in any other state.
If you are from Ohio you are eligible for free hugs**
Michigan is not in Ohio
Ohio hosts the football hall of fame and the Rock and Roll hall of Fame
Rock and Roll originated in Ohio***
No evil world dictators have ever come from Ohio
The USC Trojans, Florida Gators, Notre Dame fighting Irish, Captain Ahab, Carrot Top, O.J. Simpson, Joseph Stalin, Lorena Bobbit, Ann Rand, and the Shredder are all people/groups that did not originate in Ohio.
Ohio is "the heart of it all"
And if you don't agree that Ohio is the best place, which produces the best football team ever...I will fight you. And I will win, because I'm from Ohio.
* Gallup poll
**Stop by my office
***This is actually true. Though the roots of rock and roll trace back to blues and even to spirituals sung by slaves in antebellum America, the first use of the term was on Cleveland radio to describe the sounds of a resident musician nicknamed "lead belly." The name stuck. Hence the expression/song "Cleveland rocks." (That is also true).
But those people are still just jealous of the inherent greatness that IS. The Ohio State Buckeyes. So let me continue to enlighten you with some more "facts" about Ohio and why it should matter to you.
Ohio was the first state admitted to the union under the Northwest Territory act, and it's original postal abbreviation was "O."
Ohio is the home of Cedar Point--Worlds best amusement park.
Ohio is the mother of presidents.
Ohio is the birth place of the wright Brothers, Thomas Eddison, John Glenn, Ulysses S. Grant and others
If the Above is true, then Ohio invented planes, spaceships, light and politics/military strategy.
Ohio was once voted "Most awesomest place ever"*
Buckeyes are a delicious confection made of peanut butter and chocolate
Ohio single-handedly won the Civil War for the union.
During WWII Ohio supplied more troops and produced more ammunition than either Alaska or Costa Rica.
Murder is more illegal in Ohio than in any other state.
If you are from Ohio you are eligible for free hugs**
Michigan is not in Ohio
Ohio hosts the football hall of fame and the Rock and Roll hall of Fame
Rock and Roll originated in Ohio***
No evil world dictators have ever come from Ohio
The USC Trojans, Florida Gators, Notre Dame fighting Irish, Captain Ahab, Carrot Top, O.J. Simpson, Joseph Stalin, Lorena Bobbit, Ann Rand, and the Shredder are all people/groups that did not originate in Ohio.
Ohio is "the heart of it all"
And if you don't agree that Ohio is the best place, which produces the best football team ever...I will fight you. And I will win, because I'm from Ohio.
* Gallup poll
**Stop by my office
***This is actually true. Though the roots of rock and roll trace back to blues and even to spirituals sung by slaves in antebellum America, the first use of the term was on Cleveland radio to describe the sounds of a resident musician nicknamed "lead belly." The name stuck. Hence the expression/song "Cleveland rocks." (That is also true).
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