Essays on Greatness part IV

Friends, in case you have been living under a rock, in a cave, on Mars, you may not know that The Ohio State Buckeyes have recently been ranked #1 by the associated press, the USA today, Ryan Seacrest, Bill gates, and the pope.

Now, some might consider this a meaningless exercise, because the Buckeyes would, in truth, BE the number one team in the country regardless of arbitrary rankings. That's sort of like saying the united nations got together and decided that water was wet, or that Jar Jar Binks was annoying.

But I guess this is a good thing because at least it demonstrates that most of the people involved in college football rankings are in touch with reality. There have been several instances in the past in which people used the outcome of various games to support their wild ideas about Florida and USC actually being college football champions a few years back. In fact, I have taken the liberty of correcting the Wikipedia page that seemed to randomly assign championships to teams that were actually ineligible to win.*

Some people are not accepting of the fact that most of our opportunities in life are due to socioeconomic factors including race, income, level of our parents' college education, and where and when we are born. Surprisingly, it seems that most people are even less accepting of the equally true fact that even more of our daily activities are actually dictated at a much higher level by Jim Tressel. Coach Tressel's influence extends far beyond the football fields and you can thank him for most of the things that are right with America right now. Just a few things Jim has been working on lately include

1) Sunshine
2) The Office
3) Taking "Wanda Sikes at Large" off the air
4) Judge Judy
5) the 5 day work week
6) emancipation
7) Gravity.

Coach Tressel was sick once a few years back and missed a day at work. The current economic situation and the oil spill near the Gulf are both symptoms.

So please, next time someone tells you that the Buckeyes are overrated, or that Oregon should really be number one, don't argue with them. Just smile and nod and let him go on thinking whatever he wants. He may wish to tell you that the sun orbits around the moon or that in his personal opinion, Alaska should be warmer. It doesn't make much difference. Just be glad that we currently live in a world where the Buckeyes are hear to save us from ourselves on a weekly basis.

*approximately 119 teams are ineligible to be national champion ever year due to violation of NCAA rules about being the Ohio State Buckeyes. And, by the way, I am not making this up, the first such instance is a split decision between Princton and Rutgers in 1869. Both teams were 1-1. Yes that's right, two teams played ONE GAME, tied, and were both declared the national champion.