Embers

Hey friends. I'm back and blogging in Texas. Things have been really hectic here and my job is a little bit overwhelming. I feel like I'm trying to bail water from a sinking boat with a spaghetti strainer. Note to self: Don't hire a new director of orientation three weeks before orientation.

Anyway, I've been thinking about Marriage. Probably because I just got married. I've actually been wanting to write about this kind of relationship for a long time, but I wasn't allowed to, because I had never been married. Now I've been married for less than a month, which means I'm a total expert and I know everything there is to know about marriage. If any of you would like advice on YOUR marriage, just let me know.

But anyway. I'm still in the exciting part of marriage. Cort and I are still getting to know each other, we aren't over the novelty of being "co-ed roommates," and we don't have money problems, obnoxious children, or slow metabolisms. Life is pretty cool. And yet, hopefully, the best is yet to come.

People tell me that if things all go the way they are supposed to Cortney and I could potentially love each other MORE in twenty years than we do now. But I've never really thought of my mid-forties as an exciting time that I'm looking forward to.

I think that (in many ways) a marriage is like a fire. The interesting part, the part that attracts people's eyes and attention, is the flames. The red-orange glow and the crackling sound that make fires so attractive come from the flickering flames that jump higher and higher as you add more fuel.

But the REAL purpose of the fire, the warmth, comes from the embers. The glowing coals at the bottom of the pile is really the part that throws off the most heat. Anyone who has ever really cooked over a fire knows that you wait a while for it to burn down, and cook the food low over the hot coals. The flames are pretty, but they aren't really doing nearly as much for you in the long run.

And I hope that's what marriage is like. I hope that when a lot of the flames die out, we'll be left with glowing coals, hot embers that are more powerful than the flames ever were.

I was happy when I realized this. I was even more happy when I realized that embers and flames aren't always mutually exclusive. After all, once you get some good embers going, you can always add more fuel to the fire. :)