This little gem is an excerpt from an e-mail correspondence between two of my friends. The names have been changes to protect the innocent*, but if you know my friends and I tell you that the author of this E-mail was Jordan Beck some of you might be able to figure it out. Anyway, I'm including this nugget because I loved the writing style and because I was hoping that this will actually happen some day. This particular E-mail was written in response to the fact that "Jennifer Mullins" got Daytime and Night-time cough medicine mixed up and was narcoleptic all day and wired all night for at least a few days. I'm not surprised though...that's just "Jennifer."
*Note: The name Susie has not been changed as it is a hypothetical name of an as of yet un-concieved child
"One day, i am going to look back through the history of our conversations through email and on chat and i'm going to create a book. i will call it the "Annals of Jennifer Mullins: Stories of Ridiculousness". that story just made the cut. it will make me a lot of money. someday you will be browsing the local Barnes and Noble with your daughter, Susie, and she will lug over to you a large leather bound black book, with the words "Annals of Jennifer Mullins" written on the cover in golden script. She will look up at you with the most inquisitive look in her eyes as she asks "Mommy, why is your name on this book?" You will think to yourself, "Impressive. She doesnt even know how to read yet." Then you will return your attention to the large book and think, "I wonder if that crazy guy from college actually went through with that crazy plan he thought up in his crazy head." Then you will open up the cover to find a huge picture of my face as I give the camera a "Jennifer Mullins salute"*. Then you will say (out loud), "Holy @#$%! He actually did it!" That is right, Jennifer Mullins, I did it.** Also, the middle aged woman perusing the romance novels in the next row over will look at you with a digusting scowl on her face because you just swore in a Barnes and Noble. Honestly, Jenn, who swears in Barnes and Noble? And in front of Susie too. I would have thought you a better mother than that. Anyways, enjoy your book.
*I havent made it up yet, but by the time I write the book, you will have your very own salute.
**That will be the caption under the picture of me inside the cover.
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