A sobering truth

So adulthood has made another power play and I'm afraid it is gradually winning the battle against my efforts to remain a child forever. My best friend from Highschool just got married this weekend. That is the first time that has ever happened. I mean people from highschool have gotten married before, but they were generally pregnant first. Brandon and Brittany were legit.

Well congrats Brandon, and good luck. The idea of me getting married at this point in life makes me want to huddle up in a corner and whimper. But that's cool because my whimpering corner hasn't been used in a while.

And it wont be used for a while yet because in case any of you didn't know I am invincible. So whoever out there cursed me or is trying to kill me or has a small voodoo doll shaped like me you can just give up cause I'm not going anywhere.

Why do I say that you ask? Because I've made a habit of defying death this weekend.

On Thursday the breaks went out on my uncle's truck while I was driving it down a hill.

On Saturday a tornado came and (rudely) interrupted Brandon and Brittany's wedding reception. 300 guests filed into the basement where we were crammed cheek to jowl making nervous small talk. (The cheeks weren't so bad but I was not a fan of the jowls.) I found my jowls* next to my highschool French teacher Madame Hackette. That was an interesting conversation. The power went out and broken French was involved.

On the way home from the wedding I might have been swerving a little bit whilst trying to fetch a few Pringles from the bottom of that attractive yet inconveniently shaped tube when an officer of the law decided he wanted to have a talk with me.

I pulled over wondering whether or not I could get an additional ticket for having a broken rear view mirror and he asked me the one question I did not want to hear. "Where are you coming from?"

"Why yes officer, I am a 22 year old man swerving through the night after attending a wedding reception, thank you for asking! Oh, you want to know what that bottle of prescription drugs is doing on my dashboard? Why that anti-depressant is for my OCD, I'm supposed to have it I SWEAR! No of course I wouldn't mind stepping out of the car."

The officer was very polite as he asked me to put my hands on his car and he proceeded to frisk me. Then I got IN his car and he gave me a sobriety test, which I passed. The end result--I got a warning.

I arrived home at 2:30 AM. Which was perfect because I didn't have to get up until 6:30. And that was sweet because after sleeping in all I had to do the next day was run a jr. high camp for a weekend. But that's a post for another day.

In short I just want to apologize to death for embarrassing him, and I want to thank Newpointe for forcing me to abstain from alcohol.

* Are you weirded out by the word "Jowl" yet?