I've finally arrived

Since I've been at NewPointe people have been very accepting of me and have encouraged my growth as a spiritual leader. But despite every ones kindness I never really felt like I belonged.

I wracked my brain over and over to try to figure out why this could be. What was missing in my ministry experienced? What was I lacking that was keeping me from really being a part of the ministry team?



I thought it was my complete and utter lack of basket-ball skills. Watching me play basketball is like a combination between pin the tail on the donkey and the Shot-put except without being blindfolded and without recently having severe head trauma.*



But one day Dave took me aside and told me that you don't have to be good at "shooting the rock" (as my boyz down at NP say) to be a minister. But he did recommend that I not actually play in front of anyone that I wanted to take me seriously for the rest of my tenure at the church.



I just couldn't get any love. They weren't linking my blog to the staff website, and they didn't even take my picture to update the registry. It was like I was invisible. But then finally my friend and mentor, Kevin West, took me aside and explained the secret of ministry in our post-modern contemporary society.


He said "Dude, if you wanna kick it up a couple notches and skyrocket this thing into a hole nutha level you gotta start talkin the talk. These cats don't get you 'till the dome shines like chrome. You gotta turn up the freak factor on your noggin until little Jonny and Susy are saying 'you gotta see this' Whoop!"

(Danny Bunelle was also very instrumental [no pun intended] in encouraging this move, but Kevin is easier to imitate)

In Layman's terms it turns out that there is an inversely proportional relationship between the amount of hair a man has and his ability to lead in a church. Check out this verse I found "When a man has lost his hair and is bald, he is clean" (lev 13:40)**

Thanks Kevin. You've shown me the light. I feel like part of the team now. Have Dave add my staff picture to the website when he gets back from Bigstuf.





*Severe head trauma has nothing to do with the shot put, but I threw shot in high school and to save face my coach always told the other coaches that I had recently suffered some severe head trauma.

** The Bible doesn't say anything about facial hair but since all the other guys were doing it I thought it wouldn't hurt.