The Magic Moment

Two Blog posts in one day? Yeah, it was that kind of weekend, also I work at a college and it's summer. I've got that kind of time. I tried really hard to keep the foot-notes to a minimum but it was the hardest thing I've ever had to do in my writing career.

First event: My dad finally had the moment. In our house it's tradition that we are NOT allowed to discuss THE Ohio State Buckeyes all summer until Dad has that single, magical moment when it dawns on him "College football is just around the corner!" It's like waking up on the last day of school or the first day after getting hired for a new job; hearing that the war is over or becoming a grandmother for the first time or finding out that the Dr. made a mistake and you are actually HIV negative.*

But yes anyway, (understatements aside) Dad had that magic moment, and as my tongue was loosed to the prolific wonders of THE Ohio State University I ran across some poor lost ones who had not yet accepted the unending (and official) reign of THE Ohio State Buckeyes as the greatest team ever of anything in the world of all times forever and ever.***

People claim that fans of THE Ohio State Buckeyes are: 1) Rude--2) Stupid--3) kinda jerks about the whole thing--4) unable to accept facts about college-football--5) Completely devoid of grace or compassion for any other team.

My rebuttal:
All of you stupid jerks out there who do not know that the Buckeyes are the best (non Jesus) thing to ever happen to your stupid Ohioless existence are stupid jerks and you are LUCKY that Jim Tressel isn't displeased enough to end you in a glorious and efficient manner of which you aren't even worthy.

But there is hope for you.

Stop back here from time to time and be enlightened by all that is Ohio. On this very blogspace I will be writing several persuasive articles that will be as well researched and grounded in fact as they are un-biased and fair.****

So look forward to these intellectually stimulating works of passion and prose. I call them THE Ohio State Buckeyes: Essays on Greatness. I was going to entitle them "Common Sense" but it APPEARS that some little known author has already used this title on a collection of irrelevant works about tea or something.



*I'm sorry I think I wrote "or." That was a typo, it should have said "and."**

**(I apologize if I've offended any student-grandmothers with new jobs that may have loved ones in the war in Iraq and have recently been given a second chance at life. You go girl!)

*** This excludes the "A team," the 1992 "Dream Team," The Justice League, The Navy Seals, The Mighty Ducks (as featured in the Disney Movie) past and future incarnations of the Ohio State Buckeyes, Led Zeppelin, The Legion of Doom, The "N" Team, the Inklings, Google, The cast of Seinfeld, or any time in a T.V. Show or movie where the good guys and the bad guys have to team up to defeat a third party--henceforward described as an uber-villian.

****I Promise