Integrity part 1: Lightning Rods

Recently I've been reading this book called "Louder than Words" by Andy Stanley. For those of you who don't know who Andy Stanly is he is a Christian dude often times viewed as a prophet by clergymen in contemporary mega-churches but who really does speak pretty well to the heart of the matter concerning many things applicable to the Christian life. This book is about character, integrity, and compromised living.

These are ideas that I am into more than your average church-goer. Does that mean that I HAVE more character and integrity than your average church-goer? No. It just means that I talk about it more often. This, I have discovered, is annoying to people.

I have decided recently to take a stance on issues that are "not a big deal" to most people. Sometimes this makes me, in effect, less fun. And sometimes I'm afraid of what this will lead to because I don't want to make my kids listen to Focus on the Family cassettes and I don't want my friends and family to tag onto most of their conversations "Don't tell Steve, he'll flip out." And while we understand that as Christians we are supposed to be a bit "weird" compared to the ways of this world there are definitely people that even we within the church think of as "really weird" because they will honestly tell you that their favorite movie is "Passion of the Christ."*

But here are the real pro's and cons to it. Once you start acting like "Mr integrity" everyone is reminding you of it all the time. Either because they are making fun of you, because they want to see you fail, or because they honestly support you and are trying to remind you that you swore you were going to do the "right thing." You have, in a sense, become a lightning rod for correction.

Being a leader puts you up on a pedestal and everyone thinks that they are entitled to an opinion on your life. (Why not, you're their leader?) And whether you like it or not being Mr Integrity** makes you open to the same kind of public scrutiny. And you will fail. Because no one can live up to the game they talk. People who don't get this concept call it "hypocrisy"

But I invite and embrace this scrutiny. Jesus invited us to look at his life and find him faultless. I invite you to look at my life and find fault. I am not Jesus, I am a man in need of Jesus, and who honors him with process more than product. Too few people are willing openly provide correction and admonishment because these things are annoying and unpleasant. I intend to make myself a lightning rod for these things. I don't really deserve the title, but if it will help the cause, you can call me Mr. Integrity.

*Which, by the way, is the only R-rated movie they own

**Which is not a self proclaimed title, but rather, what they will call you behind your back

Real E-mail from a Real Friend

This little gem is an excerpt from an e-mail correspondence between two of my friends. The names have been changes to protect the innocent*, but if you know my friends and I tell you that the author of this E-mail was Jordan Beck some of you might be able to figure it out. Anyway, I'm including this nugget because I loved the writing style and because I was hoping that this will actually happen some day. This particular E-mail was written in response to the fact that "Jennifer Mullins" got Daytime and Night-time cough medicine mixed up and was narcoleptic all day and wired all night for at least a few days. I'm not surprised though...that's just "Jennifer."

*Note: The name Susie has not been changed as it is a hypothetical name of an as of yet un-concieved child

"One day, i am going to look back through the history of our conversations through email and on chat and i'm going to create a book. i will call it the "Annals of Jennifer Mullins: Stories of Ridiculousness". that story just made the cut. it will make me a lot of money. someday you will be browsing the local Barnes and Noble with your daughter, Susie, and she will lug over to you a large leather bound black book, with the words "Annals of Jennifer Mullins" written on the cover in golden script. She will look up at you with the most inquisitive look in her eyes as she asks "Mommy, why is your name on this book?" You will think to yourself, "Impressive. She doesnt even know how to read yet." Then you will return your attention to the large book and think, "I wonder if that crazy guy from college actually went through with that crazy plan he thought up in his crazy head." Then you will open up the cover to find a huge picture of my face as I give the camera a "Jennifer Mullins salute"*. Then you will say (out loud), "Holy @#$%! He actually did it!" That is right, Jennifer Mullins, I did it.** Also, the middle aged woman perusing the romance novels in the next row over will look at you with a digusting scowl on her face because you just swore in a Barnes and Noble. Honestly, Jenn, who swears in Barnes and Noble? And in front of Susie too. I would have thought you a better mother than that. Anyways, enjoy your book.

*I havent made it up yet, but by the time I write the book, you will have your very own salute.
**That will be the caption under the picture of me inside the cover.

Ben Billman Diet

Ok for some reason it seems that my office computer has agreed to log onto bloggspot again. Let's officially consider things "touch and go." From here on.

Anyway, today I wanted to report to you the success of one of my biggest goals in the last few years. 2 years ago I made the new year's resolution that I was going to delver 10% more Steve Conn whenever I could.

Well I have accomplished that and more with a simple thing called the Ben Billman diet! For the first time ever master dietitian Ben Billman reveals his secrets for the ONLY Diet guaranteed to work.

It's quite simple really. There are two main principles for you to understand before you are on your way to bodily perfection.

1) If you want something, eat it. No one's stopping you dude.
2) If you don't want it, don't eat it, no one's making you dude.

Only the Ben Billman diet can be custom tailored to your specific needs, while still offering the flexibility of less effective diets (by which I mean no diet at all)

Depending on how YOU choose to employ these two rules you can either gain or lose weight at your own discretion!

But wait, there's more. This diet absolutely ensures that you will become interesting to other people trying to lose weight like anyone on a popular but possibly stupid fad diet. Just imagine the looks on their faces when you tell them that you ate a can of pringles and half a sleeve of Orios last night...without breaking your diet!

Here is a real live interview with a man who has been on the Ben Billman diet for 5 years. Learn how it helped him meet some of his big goals in life.

Steve Conn: I've been on the Ben Billman diet since I met Ben freshmen year of college. At first I didn't really get it. Sometimes I remember eating things I didn't want, or not eating things I wanted. It was kinda funny really. Turns out there was no one making me.* But once I got the hang of it it was really pretty easy. It's definitely been helping me to meet some of my big goals. For example: by default I now present 10% more Steve Conn in every interaction, because I'm 10% fatter than when I graduated college!

Another Satisfied customer.

Unfortunately Steve's love for the Ben Billman diet has recently come in direct conflict with his hate for buying new and larger pants. Changes are going to have to be made to tailor his results. For more information on how you too can gain/lose weight call 555-ben-bill for a free informational packet and sample diet plan. Call now, supplies limited.

*dude

Sorry for the inconvienence

Hey all you frustrated and faithful readers out there in bloggerland.

As some of you might have noticed I have not updated this blog in about a million billion years. The reason for that, quite simply, is that for some reason the computers I generally use have all been attacked by some sort of devil force that precludes me from writing on blogspot.

I have no idea what the cause of this is. But my lap-top, my desktop, and my computer at work have all decided that they were no longer going to to connect to blogger.com. I am currently sitting in Zondervan Library with but a few minutes before i have to go to a meeting for a group project. Hopefully said meeting will be quick and painless, but regardless, (or even irregardless) I must now away.

I will do everything I can to try to regain my posting powers (namely trying to log on once a day and then staring at the computer with a look of irate confusion), but until I succeed I must just apologize for the chasm of entertainment presented by my ongoing lack of posts. Please read Ender's Game instead.

Willing to be right

The other day I was at a certain university where we watched a movie called "Purple State of Mind."

It was this atheist guy and a Christian guy talking about life, God, and you know...stuff.

And I realized something. Poorly formed Christian thought can be more dangerous to Christianity than well formed atheistic thought.

Why do I say this? Because Christianity will never fall to oppression, opposition, or persecution. Christianity has been opposed since day one. It's nothing new and it's nothing particularly threatening.

Apathy is threatening. I saw on video a man who was unwilling to stand up for anything. He said that Jesus was the Christ, but beyond that he was unwilling to claim anything as truth. Apparently not only is Christ a mystery, everything about God and His Word is a mystery.

Honestly? Why read it? And the scariest thing was that none of the students seemed to care. Now I know I'm over-reacting here but the impression that I got was that no one was searching for answers because they didn't think that answers were knowable. This is true to an extent, but there ARE some truths in this world. Sin is sin and you are allowed to say so. God did reveal some truth to us, and you are allowed to say so.

It's very unpopular to think you are right. Everyone accepts everyone elses opinions as long as they don't claim to be "right." As long as it's "good for you" there's no problem. Guess what, Christians don't get everything right, but we are right about somethings, and if you disagree, you're wrong.

Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery

Hello all you faithful reader!*

Good news for all of you out there who knew I would someday make it big. I am finally a published author! Where have I been published you ask? In the Bathroom stalls of Malone College!

That's right, your good friend and mine, THE Ryan Anderson** is a hall director at Malone college and is bringing up his students in the way they should go. They are learning about how much girls like snow*** via my blog printed out on a bathroom publication Ryan calls "The Plunger."

Also, a man who seems to be my brother from another mother, Josh Wymore, had recently submitted to me a well researched and well worded essay on why he believes Texas to be superior to Ohio. Although riddled with logical fallacies and inconsistencies it is good to see another non-Michigander exhibiting blind hatred to all states not his own. The same practice that has helped me to sleep at night following national championship games. Here is an excerpt from his misguided, yet beautiful, piece of work.

Not only could Texas’ longhorn mascot completely devour a horde of buckeyes, he has on several occasions. Bevo proceeded to ask that future buckeyes be made without chunky peanut butter, stating, “choosy cows choose Jiff.” After communicating this to his trainers, Bevo then slept for eight hours

Important scientific-like studies have also shown that 3 in 5 men born in Ohio are genetically incapable of growing mustaches. This fact contrasts sharply with Texas where toddlers celebrate their first goatee at age 6. Gillette has now begun sending razors to Texas boys at the beginning of their 4th grade year.

Please let me say that I mean no offense to those persons unlucky enough to be born outside the Lone Star State. My heart goes out to those of you who do not, and never will, have the chance to be a genuine Texan. Take comfort in the fact that you have company; millions of other people just like you are not fortunate enough to live in “The Greatest Nation in the World.” We call them “Americans.”

If this style of flamboyant ignorance seems familiar to you it should be noted that Josh and I do get along quite well outside of his tendency to overcompensate for not being round on both sides and high in the middle.

But I have forgiven his errant ways, just as I would forgive anyone for being from the wrong state, or an atheist, or a murderer, or not liking Ender's Game, or believing that Jar Jar Binks belongs in a Star Wars movie. The only people I can't forgive are Michigan fans...like Ryan Anderson.

*mom
**That is not THE Ryan Anderson...that is "A" Ryan Anderson
*** True story I walked by a girl today who was yelling "It's SOOOO COLD!" and I said to her, "you can't have snow without cold." She responded by saying "whatever" but as he was leaving earshot I heard her start yelling again "It's SOOOO WINDY"

For the Glory of God

So I'm about to out myself here as loving Taylor University way way way too much. But then again, I don't think that's a surprise to anyone that knows me.

But the other day I was thinking tat it's such a shame that I am probably not going to work at Taylor, and if I get a doctorate, it wont be from Tayolor either. So lets say twenty years fromnow I write a great book. (Which is something I'm going to start on...someday) But lets go nut for a little bit and say that I actually DID write a book and it was the next Blue Like Jazz* and people from all over the country were inviting me to come speak at their schools.

The wouold introduce me and say "He got his B.A. and his M.A. from Taylor University, recieved his PHD from (insert blank) and he is currenty the associate dean of student leadership at (insert blank)

And the reason that bothers me I becuase I want to make sure that all the glory for my accomplishments goes to Taylor. If I produce anything of merit I want people to say "That's a Taylor Grad right there."

Well that's a bit idolotrous now isn't it?

But for the first time I understood what it was meant to want to do something for the glory of God. It doesn't mean that you can't be proud, or that you can't be enjoying the work, or that your name can't be attatched to what you do. But what if really when you produced something good you had a desire for people to say "That's a child of God right there." What if you wanted people to understand where you came from and the contextfrom which you opporate when you accomplish things; and that framework is your God?

It would probably increase your accountability for your work and your reputation. Bu that's really ust a side benifit

*Except with a basic understanding of the tennats of Christianity.