Meat Market Day 2

As promised, I am here to report on the exciting things happening at the Chicago Placement Exchange.

I arrived at the placement exchange once more wearing my suit and pretending to be important. I checked my "mailbox" to see which lucky employer would get the next crack at me. It was completely empty. This will be a theme for the rest of the day. I circle my mail box once every few hours and wonder what the popular job candidates are doing. It's kinda like not getting any valentines in your box during grade school.*

Also a friend of mine helped me with my resume. It looks really sweet now. I have a super-sonic resume on steroids that is so fly you would probably want to hire me twice for the same job just in case I don't accept one of the offers. The down-side to this is that it has made me aware that my resume wasn't very good until now.**

But wait...what is this? Some school wants to talk to me? Baylor you say? But I never applied to you...you just sought me out? Well...I'll act like I'm not surprised.

Turns out Baylor University has a thing for Taylor University. And not just because they rhyme. Caleb Farmer is rocking Baylor off the heezy, so they decided to interview ALL FIVE of the Taylor people I came with and also to offer ALL of us second interviews. I guess maybe they liked us. Perhaps they will call me again soon.

In the mean-time I am wooing my future employer, "Mr. John Smith" from Valparaiso. Valpo doesn't realize that it is engaged in the timeless art of seduction, and that I am the seducer.

A month ago I sent them a resume. To which they did not respond. But "John Smith" knows his game. No one responds to the first resume. So I sent them another E-mail asking for an interview at the placement exchange. Still no response. They are just shy. So I do my magic and write one of those special little notes to Mr. Smith from Valpo. He coyly says that he does not have time to meet with me. But what he really means is that he can't stop thinking about me and how good I would look directing his residence halls. So I pull out the big guns and send him another note with my new and improved super resume.***

And now...no response. I can tell he is just playing hard to get. But I'm not really worried. Why would I want a job near La-Porte anyway? No one lives there besides my fiancee.

*Although that never happened to me because my boxes were always AWESOME
**Bethel college if you are reading this please note, I'm better than you think. Now I have documented proof in resume form.
***40% of the time, it works every time