Nothing to fear but...

Ok so here is something weird. I don't know if anyone else is going to say they feel the same way as I do, but we'll see.

Yesterday I was reading some kind of book about blagh blagh blagh education grad school blagh blagh you get where I"m going with this.

Well anyway. It goes on to talk about all the "desert fathers," and monks and people who have lived their entire lives ensconced in spiritual disciplines, scripture, and the pursuit of knowing God better. And we all say that we are dedicated to these things but I mean for real...these people didn't have jobs. They just did this stuff all day every day.

And I was thinking to myself that that didn't sound so bad, but then I realized I was a little afraid to really get deep with God myself. You see the thing of it is I'm a little afraid to lose what I have these days. I have a beautiful fiancee, a degree in a field I kinda like, a shelf full of books I haven't read yet, and a Nintendo wii. Good night why would I want to change the status quo?

I realized that whenever you really love something you give that thing power over you. My fanatic-like love for the Buckeyes enslaves me to the T.V. every Saturday in the fall and my love for Cortney keeps me tied to my cell-phone. And I think these are good deals. I'm willing to do these things.

But MAN. Really loving God, I mean REALLY loving God. He could make you do ANYTHING. Like, I don't know anyone as crazy and unpredictable as God, he is a wild-card. And it's my goal in life to be completely besotted and helplessly head over heels with a wild-card.

I think that's part pf what it means when the Bible talks about "fear of the Lord." Aslan was never a tame lion. And so I'm signing up. It sounds like a good deal. And I really DO want to fall deeper and deeper in love with God. But I'm kinda afraid to see what he's going to make me do in the future. They say Jesus came to comfort the disturbed and disturb the comfortable, and for once I'm comfortable.