It's the thought that counts

If anyone thinks too much and doesn't understand his/her faith, I hope this is an encouragement to you.

Sometimes I struggle with or question things about the Christian faith that we seem to commonly accept here in this little place I like to call 21st century, white, middle-class, evangelical America*. I think by now you all know that I struggle with the idea of "calling."

Well here's another one that keeps me up at night. Prayer. Good night, I do not understand this thing. Using the best of my logic I have decided that God deciding to supernaturally intervene in the affairs of man because I asked him to doesn't really make sense. What happens when two different people pray for opposing outcomes? (Michigan Wolverines pray they will beat the Buckeyes, I pray that their bus catches on fire on the way to the game). God cannot grant mutually exclusive requests,** so who gets to have their prayer answered? And if the bus did catch fire, and police realized it was because a brave patriot doused it in gasoline the night before, did GOD make the bus catch fire, or did some man (who is my hero) really do the work? In that case, who gets the credit? One might say that God "used" that man, but if the man had decided differently, could he have then thwarted God's plan? Or does the man not have free-will? oops. Didn't mean to get into that conversation. But then again if you don't really have free-will then prayer is kind of a moot point anyway because God has already done what he is going to do.

what? Wait, does this stack up with what I read in the Bible? I can't even tell anymore.

I get skeptical when people tell me stories. A girl at Taylor had a spontaneous remission of Cancer. There were people who would be quick to tell you that God performed a miracle. Why? Because of prayer. A lot of people who pray still die, and a lot of people who don't pray live. So what gives? Instead of getting all excited and praising God....I get curious.

And sometimes I dislike that. Sometimes I think it means that I have a weak faith are that I am doubting God. But I am not really doubting. I am just questioning. And then I came across this little verse-nugget

Proverbs 25:2--It is the glory of god to conceal a matter; to search out a matter is the glory of kings.


We will never be like Christ, but the effort to be Christ-like is honoring to God. We emphasize the journey, because we know we are traveling towards a destination we know we cannot reach this side of Heaven...so the journey is king. In the same way, I will never understand God, but I hope that these endless circular patterns of thought are honoring to God. Because I am searching after him with my brain. My intellectual journey, is hopefully in it's own way, as much of a praise as the person who shouts hallelujah. Because we are both saying the same thing.

"Lord, I want more of you"


*Located in the Mid-West

**But God can do ANYTHING...yeah, but not stuff that just doesn't even make sense. I guess maybe He could, but that would mean suspending the boundaries of reality as we know them...which maybe He does...but if He does that we might as well give up trying to understand anything because at that point anything and everything is fair game. In which case, I am going to stop writing blogs and concentrate more on video games.