I surrender all

Sorry it's been so long since I've blogged. my life has been "a crazy town" as Mallory Jones would say.

So I was in church the other day and I sang these words:

All to Jesus I surrender;
All to Him I freely give;
I will ever love and trust Him,
In His presence daily live.

I surrender all,
I surrender all;
All to Thee, my blessed Savior,
I surrender all.

Then it struck me "good night, that is a frightening thought."
I had to stop singing.

Not that I think it's bad to surrender all to Jesus, but rather, it has frightening implications. George McDonald once said that asking Jesus to fix something in your heart was dangerous because as soon as He was in He would start fixing all kinds of things you didn't ask for. And soon he'd be tearing down walls and building additions and doing any number of things you're uncomfortable with. For those of you who loved the 90's imagine inviting Tim Taylor from Home Improvement to remodel your bathroom.

Anyway, it is easy to surrender stuff to God when it’s the stuff you expect to surrender. You are ready to make hard sacrifices as long as they are the sacrifices you expect. For example, as Christians we are probably on board with the fact that money should not be our ultimate priority and God might “call” us to a career that doesn’t make a lot of money. Ok, done. But what if God wanted you to surrender something surprising?

For example, I think of myself as a pretty intelligent guy, and I’m finishing up my masters degree. So you could say I am willing to surrender all and use my intelligence and my degree for the Lord any way He sees fit…As long as that means I actually get to feel like I’m using my intelligence and my education.

What if, (horror of horrors) God “calls” me somewhere where I don’t get to make use of my brain? Henri Nowen decided to leave his position as a regarded priest and scholar to work at a mental institution where patients neither understood nor appreciated his words, his experience, or his education. It was hard and humbling. But he CHOSE that. What if that just kind of “happens” to me? What if God wants me to surrender many of my skills and passions not by using them for Him, but by not using them at all?

“Oh no Steve, that could never happen,” I can hear you say. “God does not work that way.” Oh really? God’s ways are beyond my ways. Maybe to him me “wasting” my talents isn’t a waste at all. Maybe that’s His way of making me humble, and to Him that is a great use of my talents.

It freaked me out. Because I realized that God could actually ask me to surrender anything, and according to the song I was singing, I’m just going to go along with it.

And I will, (I hope) but sit back and think about it. Could you surrender your health? Your friendships? The best years of your life? I think that my whole life I’ve really been singing

“I surrender all, as long as I think it’s a good thing to surrender.”

Now I am not suggesting that God is going to make me "surrender" by committing crazy sins and doing things that are inconsistent with God's character but I think that as a 21st century American evangelical I am tempted to imagine that God's character is pretty convenient for me.