Book Review Four

Ok let me tell you something about The Wheel of Time by Robert Jordan.

It does not have any redemptive value spiritually, morally, culturally, or educationally. It will not make you a better person. But oh my gosh--I did not know that ink and paper had such a frighteningly powerful ability to entertain. Next to Tony Hawk Pro Skater I have never seen anything nearly as addictive is this book series.

I read this book for the first time when I was in highschool, and it was like crack to me. I read the next TEN books in the series. (That's around 10,000 pages in case anyone is keeping count.) I started re-reading because the twelfth and final edition to this saga is going to be publish in late 2009 despite the fact that the author has DIED. That's right, the plot of this book is so compelling that God is allowing Robert Jordan to write from beyond the grave.

So anyway, I talked my sister (who has a masters degree in comparative literature) to read this series and she gave up after four books because she said they "weren't really that great." And sadly I assumed she was right. It's very common for her to recognize the suckatude of a piece of writing while I'm still too young to understand. As the years go by I am able to see that some of what I once thought was brilliant is in fact, trash. The Dark Tower is a prime example. Sorry everyone, but even though I was temporarily fooled I stand before you now to say that Stephen King is a terrible writer.

But my sister was wrong about something. The Wheel of Time is above criticism. It's like watching Star Wars. You instantly fall in love with it. Then some Critic who likes "good movies" points out to you that the acting is horrible, the dialogue is atrocious, ansd he might use pretentious made up words like "cinemetography." He might even tell you that episodes 4-6 aren't REALLY any better than the travashamockeries that were episodes 1-3. And the truth is that blasphemous jerk might be telling the truth. But a true fan covers his/her ears and sings John Williams at the top of his/her lungs becuase Star Wars is untouchable, and you fall in love all over again every time you watch it. And that's how the Wheel of Time is.

So call it sticking my head in the sand but I will go to the GRAVE loving the Wheel of Time, and I don't care what anyone says. So if you are a nerd, or you have no life, or you just want your mind blown to the back of your skull by the longest piece of fantasy literature ever written strap in and take the plunge, and do NOT listen to what Ryan Duncan tells you. EVER.