The Danger Zone

Seasons

2011-07-26T22:33:00.002-04:00

Just to give credit where credit is due, the inspiration from this blogpost came from comments made by my friend John Forester.

A lot of times we think that we need to really get our act together with God. We think that we are far away from him at times, or that maybe things would be going better for us spiritually if we could just get have a little more time with him or know a little more about the Bible. And maybe those things might make us feel better, but in reality we can't be any closer to God than we already are.

As John said "We are already as in with him as we will ever be." We don't need to wait for more of God because we already have access to all that there is--even when it doesn't feel that way.

Most people would probably tell you that winter happens because the earth moves away from the sun. But actually it's the opposite. In the Northern Hemisphere the earth is actually closer to the sun than at any other time of the year. The difference is that we are tilted away from it at an angle, and its rays hit us indirectly.

So really, when we are coldest, and feel the farthest away from the sun, the truth of the matter is that we are very close, we are just turned away, but when we turn to face the sun again in the summer, we can be warmed and rejuvenated by its rays no matter the distance.

Many times it feels like we are going through a spiritual "winter" in which God seems far away. But that's never actually the case. God is as close now as He has ever been or as He ever will be. But you must turn and face him directly. Just like the planet, our spiritual life will have different seasons. Though, I probably wouldn’t set my calendar on them. They are probably a little less predictable

insanity

2011-06-28T17:05:00.002-04:00

I've been taking a lot of flack lately from my one and only existing fan because it's been a long time since I've blogged last. Apparently it was a lot easier for me to find time to blog when I was single and unemployed.

But I would like to take this time to share with y'all* my most recent adventure.

I've tried everything I could think of to lose weight except for eating right and exercising. I realized however that these strategies weren't working. The irregular schedule and plethora of free food available to the student affairs professional has been working against me this year and I'm thinking about getting t-shirts for everyone at ACSD that says "body by student affairs."

So last week I tried something drastic. Cortney and I stated doing the workout program "insanity." For those of you who don't know "insanity" is a workout created by the American Government to torture captives in Guantanamo Bay. It's a work-out video where a bunch of rock hard abs with bodies attached to them shout encouragement while your stamina and self esteem plummet through the floor.

The secret to Insanity is that you have to be in really good shape before you can start working out. Now anyone who likes this product or is trying to sell it will assure you this isn't true. They'll say things like "no it's for everyone" or "just do what you can do." This is the equivalent of encouraging some one who hasn't worked out in a while to run a "beginners marathon" or just "take it easy" while running the bulls in Spain...with a piano on your back... and breathing through a straw.

I don't know exactly HOW effective this workout is yet because we've only done it two days but I have thrown up some, so I have lost at least a little weight. So far I have attempted two times to make it through the first session. I made it about half way through the second time, and I was pretty pleased with my progress. My "jumps" and "lunges" probably looked more like a sleepy bear trying to do the Macarena but it was progress. Cortney had to stop when I stopped through because the sound of throwing up grosses her out.

Did I mention that the first session is just a "fit test"?

This is why I am working on a new line of work-out videos called "sanity" be on the lookout for these casual "get fit gradually" videos that will be sure to make your work-out more enjoyable.

Each video will contain 3 separate 8 minute workouts (most of which will be cool down stretching) and will be geared towards what we all really want in a workout--the feeling that you actually did something.

As you shuffle from side to side and take water breaks you'll hear me shout encouraging phrases like "hey those shorts look great!" and "how about another energy drink!" If you include getting changed, firing up the DVD player, taking a shower, and chugging a chocolate protein shake, you'll have spent a solid 25 minutes working out. Enough to convince YOUR spouse and friends that you are serious about this fitness thing.

Sign up today for the "SANITY" newsletter!

SANITY--a workout that never lost its mind.

*That's Texas for "to whom it may concern"

Section 5

2011-05-20T09:48:00.002-04:00

So, maybe you knew maybe you didn't, one of the reason I've been blogging so little lately is because I'm trying to take a lot of these blog thoughts and turn them into something longer. I don't want to say I'm writing a book because then I feel pretentious and like I think I take myself too seriously. Maybe I can say that I'm writing a book as long as no one ever thinks I expect to write a GOOD book.

Still to risky. Lets just say that I spend time every now and again writing "stuff" and if that "stuff" ever winds up having a spine and a binding, that would be great.

Here is the most recent "stuff." I've written. As always, I'm posting rough drafts of things I haven't even read back to myself yet. The only advice I ever hear for people who want to write is "just keep writing, don't worry if it's good or bad. Get it down on paper. Later you can look at it again and figure out what to do with it. But if you write something bad you're a lot closer than if you wrote nothing." So I'm trying to power my way through and I'll take a look at all of this later.

The reason I keep putting it here? Because I feel kinda bad that I've been ignoring my blog and I want both of you who still check it to see that there is a "legit" reason.

But anyway, I suppose I've given you all enough disclaimers for the rest of my life. If you actually want to look in on what I'm doing, here is the most recent section. My next blog post will probably be about the next section I write.

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1K2cv7vQGcAvSCK3lFZtRt4MM9pRQZ_iXilZRkzfs7ak/edit?hl=en_US&authkey=CICjhKsG

Because no one is reading anyway

2011-05-02T16:44:00.002-04:00

Hey friends

here is a link to my next "section"

I should point out though that these sections are still very very rough ideas. As I read through them I realize that there are all kinds of problems with the writing and things I should do differently, stuff I should include, etc.. So if you don't want to read something riddled with mistakes I would probably just move on past this one.

Section 4

Game Plan

2011-04-12T22:40:00.002-04:00

So I often times rub up against the idea of God's will in our lives. I say "rub up" because I don't really have the theological wherewithal to really tackle that issue and I'm not really sure what i would say about it if I did. So I kinda skirt around the issue and make a tangental point. And that's what I'm going to do again.

I've been wondering for a long time, "How does one approach life if you are going to be looking for God's will, which is unknown? How does one make decisions? And what does it really look like to be open to God's will in a situation where you already had your own plans?

Once again I will rely on my two oldest and most trusted friends. Metaphors and Jim Tressel.

When Jim makes a game-plan, he does his research, he studies the other team, he prepares, and he comes up with a strategy and plan for the upcoming Saturday based on the knowledge he has, and his best guesswork on how the future is going to unfold. He uses past experience and all the powers at his human disposal to figure out the best way to get his team ready to win (and he dos so quite admirably I would say)

However, when the game comes, Jim doesn't just stick with the plan if it isn't working. And he doesn't script out an entire game's worth of plays. Instead he reads the situation as it unfolds and takes what the other team gives him. If the running game isn't working, he moves to the passing game. Game plans were meant to be tweaked, and if necessary, discarded.

What shall we say then? That coaches shouldn't make game-plans? That they should just wing it when they get to the game? By no means! The planning and preparation that takes place before helps to bring context to split decisions. Preparing is good stewardship and it shows that you are doing your best with the resources you have.

In real life you might not always be hearing the voice of God telling you what to do at every moment. In those instances you have to do your best with what you have. You need to marshal your resources, past experience, and knowledge to do what you think is best even if you are unsure what that is. The future is unknowable, and sometimes even the present is foggy.

Making a plan for the future, or picking a way to proceed at the present is not the absence of trust, it is the presence of responsibility and common sense. However, one needs to be able to abandon the "plan" at a moments notice when and if it becomes clear that God wants something else. How will you know? You might not. But over committing to your own plans isn't a way to find out. Actually it's ust a goof way to lose a ball game.

In case anyone is interested

2011-03-27T15:17:00.003-04:00

Hey friends

Not sure if anyone cares, but if you do I finished "section 3" of "my files" (which is what I call the stuff I write because I'm too realistic to call it a book)

I'll admit, I think it's got some decent ideas but towards the end I think it will make you say "wait, did we change topics while I wasn't paying attention? That kinda just turned into something else. I think a little editing is in order here."

You're right. A lot of editing is in order. In fact, you don't have to read it. But what's the point of having a blog if you won't post your writing on it?

Feel free not to click on this link, I won't be offended, and I probably wont ask you if you read it or not. But if you DO want to read more of my "not book" Just click...

Here

Victory over the South!

2011-03-21T21:01:00.003-04:00

I come today to tell you a story of perseverance and determination. A story about the underdog. A story of a young man who wouldn't take "no" for an answer.

Today, I got my driver's licence in the mail.

For those of you who don't know, it is Texas state law that all working residents who wish to drive must have their TEXAS issued driver's licence within 90 days. It took Cortney and I a little over 240 days.

Join me as I recount this epic tale of daring do and heroism.

1) Cortney and I went to the Texas DMV, but they told us that we needed to get our vehicles inspected first
(In Texas, you need to pay money to have someone tell you that your vehicle is "ok" to drive once a year.)

2) So we went to three places that we had been told inspected vehicles. ($20 each)

3) The third place agreed to inspect MY vehicle but would not inspect Cortney's because she didn't have proof of insurance.

4) Cortney's parents sent her a copy of her insurance card

5) I asked if I could get another copy of my "inspection certificate" (I thought I had lost mine)

6) You cannot get a copy of your inspection certificate, they have to call "The state" and cancel it so they can charge you for a new one.

7) I found my inspection certificate.

8) We went back to the DMV where they told us we needed to register our vehicles first

9) They told us we couldn't register our vehicles without speaking directly to our insurance agent since we were out of state

10) Cortney did not have adequate coverage

11) we bought new insurance for Texas

12) Cortney registered her car for another $130

13 I couldn't register my car because my car was still in my dad's name

14) My dad couldn't transfer the car to my name because he no longer had a copy of the registration (I had it)

15) My dad and I met over thanksgiving so Ohio certify that Dad gave me his Car

16) Texas would not accept the title transfer without a gift receipt.

17) We applied for a driver's licence ($30 each)

18) Three weeks later it arrived in the mail.

I still haven't registered my car, and Cortney's car is still in her maiden name but whose counting? We can drive now!

Another thought on Humility

2011-03-10T00:00:00.005-05:00

In graduate school I was asked to define humility in my own words. That means that I can't steal Paul's words in Phil. where he describes Jesus taking on the very nature of a servant and humbling himself to death on a cross. It also means I can't steal C.S. Lewis' words where he said that Humility isn't thinking less of yourself, it's thinking about yourself less. And it also means that I shouldn't use the story about the boat and ballast again, because I ripped that off of John Piper (who in turn, most likely ripped it off of someone else).

No I had to put it into my own words. And here it is. I believe that humility is seeing yourself ACCURATELY.

I think everyone knows that it is not humble to think better of yourself than you deserve. But can it be just as wrong to think less of yourself than what you deserve? If the God of the universe wants to say that I'm gifted at something, who am I to disagree? If the Lord made someone pretty darn good looking, why would they pretend that they weren't? Is it humble to think that I can mess up what God intended to be good? Do I think that I can be SO screwed up that God can't use me or that my skills, talents, qualities, or gifts are anything less than what He intended them to be?

You would probably be quick to point out (accurately) that I am missing something here. When we say things like "good looking" or "talented" we mean in comparison to other people right? I'm pretty sure that you (steve) have told us in the past not to compare.

Well you're right. The only person you should compare yourself to is God. Turns out, you will NOT stack up, because you are a pathetic sinner, and you will realize that you are totally dependent supplicant relying on grace. But in His goodness, God allowed you to have some sparks of light and personhood that show that to Him, at least, you are well worth redeeming. And that's an accurate view of yourself. One cannot HAVE an accurate view of oneself unless it is in a context that also includes God.

The book I'm reading Steward Leadership talks about how the Devil is very satisfied if he is able to make us think more of ourselves or less of ourselves than we ought to. Pride is great for Satan, but so is self deprecation and lack of self worth. In fact, anything that he can do to through us off our game works for him. So we need to keep looking in the mirror.

What is a spiritual mirror you ask? Perhaps God, Perhaps the Bible, Perhaps prayer...I'm not sure. What do you think?

Parable about Swimming

2011-02-08T14:23:00.000-05:00

Another analogy, if you will permit me. I’ve been thinking about how I would describe “the law” and how I would describe the guilt I sometimes feel for not measuring up to the person I wish to be. If you are like me (and I know that some of you are) you regularly struggle with the idea of not being good enough and are exhausted by the idea of striving towards something unobtainable. Although we know that the sinless life is impossible, that doesn’t stop us from wanting to get as close as possible, and it doesn’t stop us from feeling guilty. In fact, guilt is a sign of an impossible goal, so feeling guilty about not being perfect kind of seems to add up.

An word picture I’ve been using recently to describe the Christian life was jumping to the moon. No matter how hard you tried, you are not getting there on your own, and even though trying harder might be good to show that you seriously care about getting there, the smart thing to do would be to just get in a rocket ship and have someone else fly you there.

I’m going to tweak that picture a little bit and go with a swimming race instead.

Lets saw God created man, but because man was such a sinner, there was a separation between us. A big one. Lets say, just for kicks, that God lives in California. He said “Hey guys, you can do this the easy way or the hard way. You can either try to swim over here, or I can swim back and forth and pull you along on a rope. The choice is yours, but just to let you know, there is no way you are going to make it on your own.”

Man says “sounds like a good deal, but I don’t want to be a burden/I really want to try to do this on my own/I don’t think I deserve a free ride/I don’t honestly believe you/ I need the workout anyway, etc....

And so he decided to swim for himself.

Everyone drowned.

The thing is, even though everyone drowned, people were pretty sure that it was still doable. Maybe people had almost made it. Maybe they just needed to try a little bit harder. Maybe a little bit more training would make the difference. After all, no one really knew how big the Pacific Ocean was, and they always figured that China couldn’t be THAT far away or else God wouldn’t have asked us to swim there in the first place.

God thought this was odd, and wanted to convince everyone that they really really were going to drown if they tried to swim on their own. So he set up a swimming lane with mile markers. He gave them a path, he let them know how far they had swum so far, and even let them know how much further they had to go. The point of this was, people would hopefully realize that even the best swimmers never even made it %1 of the way there. The swimming lane was supposed to convince people to let Jesus pull them along himself instead of them trying to make the impossible swim.

And for some people it worked. Other people misinterpreted it as a death sentence “Don’t go in that swimming lane or you’ll drown. God put it there to kill us.” Although that was...somewhat true, it entirely missed the point.

Other people thought they understood the point but still weren’t able to embrace it in it’s entirety. They asked Jesus to come pull them along, but as they were being pulled along they kept trying to keep up with Jesus. They felt bad that he was doing all the hard work and wanted to be part of it too. They said “I’d feel better if I pitched in some too. After all, this guy shouldn’t have to carry me the whole way all by himself!”

But these people felt terrible. They realized pretty quickly that compared to Jesus, they were awful swimmers. And some of them felt like no matter how hard they tried, they weren’t really getting a lot better either. They felt guilty and stupid as they get dragged along like a floating log and knew that despite their best efforts they were really just weighing Jesus down. They would think to themselves “ok I’ll just try to swim really good for a mile, that will help....ok maybe a half mile....or a quarter. I can’t do anything right, why even bother trying?”

They were appalled at the idea of asking for Jesus’ help and then taking advantage of Him by completely ignoring him and doing their own thing over the course of their whole trip. They had seen people do this in the past and they thought it was awful. They didn’t want to be insincere and ungrateful deadbeats that napped or goofed off through a free ride.

But there was another alternative. There were a few people that actually enjoyed the ride. These people knew that they didn’t have to swim, but they did anyway because it was fun. They thought “This Jesus guy is pretty great, and he’s a good swimmer, I’m going to try to be like him.” But as their arms failed and their muscles got tired, instead of concentrating on their failure they just became more impressed with the man that was pulling them along, and as mile after mile passed by they said “wow, this guy is really something else... I could NEVER have done this by myself. What a cool ride! I hope this guy goes back to get my friends because I’m pretty sure we’d all be in trouble without him.” And so, when they were able, these people would swim along, not to help Jesus, not to catch up to him, but to share the journey with him, because it felt right. When these people became exhausted it was not the exhaustion of failure, but the exhaustion of a day well spent playing with friends, skiing, biking, playing basketball, or whatever your favorite activity is. Going to bed tired with muscles that are sore from fun is an entirely different feeling than going to be tired from muscles that are sore from unfinished work.

And so the point of the swimming lane, was to convince people of their own inadequacy, and to give them some type of idea, some measurement, some way that they could at least begin to grasp the glory of God and what he had done for them. It was life giving and inspiring. And every failure, every mile missed or every time one had to stop swimming, should have been a reminder of God’s power and His mercy, not another fresh indictment or reminder of guilt. For he did not put out a swimming lane to dishearten anyone, but he came so that he could bring life, and bring it abundantly.

Steward Leadership

2011-01-22T21:08:00.002-05:00

Hey friends. I apologize again for my long hiatus. My terrible catch 22 is that I love it when people read my blog. But once you have drawn a legion of faithful readers, it becomes quite stressful to make sure that you are constantly satisfying their need for enlightenment and entertainment.

Sadly, because Cortney and I have started "getting a life" down here in Texas, we are busier than we used to be, and my blogposts will likely be less frequent than the glory days of living in my mother's basement. Don't think for a moment that I am debating "killing" the blog, but just know that checking it every morning with baited breath is likely to leave you disappointed more often than not. If any of y'all* are tech savvy enough to have your computer notify you when I post new material, I'm thinking that would be a good route for you to go.

But anyway. I want to talk about Steward Leadership.** I know that by now we have all heard of the idea of servant leadership. And I am not saying in any way that servant leadership is not an accurate view of what we are called to do as Christians in leadership. I just want to take this idea a little bit further and consider "stewardship" to be the particular kind of service we render when we are leading.

Stewardship, as we probably know, is the idea of being temporarily entrusted with something that is not yours, so that you can take care of it for the owner. Jesus references this idea when he tells the story of the men entrusted with the gold talents. They are supposed to put the money to good use so that the master will have more when he returns. Only slightly less well known is J.R.R. Tolkien's example of Lord Denathor acting as Steward of Gondor. The king is away (for generations) but whenever he returns, he will find his realm safely managed. Other examples could include house-sitting or baby sitting.

As Christians we use this idea in many different contexts. Usually you hear it coming up in regards to money. Sometimes I poke fun at Christian sub-culture but I'm not going to do that here. I think that talking about stewardship in these ways is entirely appropriate. But now I want to shift our thinking a little bit and consider leadership as a form of stewardship.

When you are a leader you are entrusted (by someone) with something that is not yours. It's easy to understand this when we are in a business setting. A CEO is entrusted with people's jobs, stock values, and the health of the company. But more often people are entrusted with less concrete assets. Coaches are entrusted with the development of their players, the management of the game, and everything that the season entails. Teachers are entrusted with the learning of students (who are not their own children), and project managers are entrusted with other people's time. A lot of the time leaders are entrusted with "soft" resources, but that doesn't make them any less real. Leaders and followers are connected by a contract, whether it is spoken or unspoken, and they both have roles to fulfill.

The reason I like talking about this in terms of stewardship is because stewardship immediately brings two things to the forefront.

1) Humility
2) Accountability

Stewards are taking care of things that aren't theirs. If you don't know what it means to be humbled by stewardship, I'd like to invite you to imagine a scenario in which you are trusted with something way over your head. Imagine that somebody put you in charge of a fortune 500 company, and you had to figure out how to manage millions and millions of dollars, or else thousands of people would lose their job. Imagine that you have been trusted with the role of general, and millions of lives hang in the balance every time you make a decision. People will die no matter what you choose, but people will question "was it worth it?" Now think a little more realistically, what if a good friend of yours was sick and dying, and he asked you to take care of his family when he was gone.

Are you humbled yet?

Accountability means that you will answer to the people who trust you. House sitting would be a lot easier if the owners never came home. You could let the plants die and let the dog pee all over the rug. You don't care, it's not your house and no one will know. But the owners will come back. People can lose their jobs or their lives, children can have their soccer season ruined, school projects might get a D-, ministries can flounder, and people can have really burnt hot-dogs if you are the one watching the grille. And you are prepared to look at the disgust on their faces when they bite into the hot-dog that YOU so carelessly burned? I'm not...and to think that I trusted you.

*Texas speak
**This was a term I came up with last week. I was pretty sure that I was going to be the next paradigm shifting Christian author but some other guy beat me to it last year. So, read "the Steward Leader" and pretend I wrote it. That will make me feel better about missing yet another opportunity to write a book due to poor timing/lack of talent/lack of initiative.

But for the Grace of God...

2011-01-07T08:43:00.001-05:00

After coming back from Christmas break, I have begun reading the book "Prodigal God" which is what we were discussing at the student development retreat. I feel like this book will be shaping the things that I think and write about for a while.

I question some of the authors assumptions, because he claims to have a very great understanding of the inner workings of the heart of everyone in the parable even though some of them are only mentioned for a few sentences. But that's fine. If he wants to say he can read minds of fictional characters from the ancient near east, he's free to do so.

He does make a few really really good points while he's at it though. One of the things he mentions is that it is impossible to truly forgive others when you think that you are better than them.

If I think to myself that the sins of others are the types of things that I would never ever do, that I am not even capable of such sins, that I am so morally superior that I couldn't be guilty of the same kinds of things that my fellow man is guilty of, then it looks like not only will I be rather short on forgiveness, but also I don't really understand the Gospel.

There are lots of sins that there is no way I would commit...now. However, who knows how I could change over time given enough pressure and temptation. The only thing protecting me from falling deeper into sin* is undeserved grace.

Think of it this way. Some people don’t have jobs because they are lazy bums. But that is probably not the biggest reason for unemployment. Sometimes businesses shut down or downsize, people get laid off, and other places aren’t hiring. In our current recession it’s easier to visualize this. But lets take it a step further and remember the great depression. Unemployment was 25% and those who had jobs were wondering if theirs was going to be the next company that went under.

Let’s pretend that the company you work for is still doing ok, but a lot of your friends have been losing their jobs and some of them have been losing their homes. In such uncertain times you realize that you might not have a job next week, but you are very thankful that you have one now. You might be one bad fiscal year from the breadline and two years from living under an overpass. But right now you are safe and secure, because your boss says that everything is ok, and you are going to be taken care of.

If that were the case, would you look down on people who didn’t have a job? Would you call them lazy? Would you think that they were uneducated misfits who were just living off the government because they had a stupid sense of entitlement? Or would you have empathy, because if things had shaken down a little bit differently, that could have been you?

But for the Grace of God, there go I.

An understanding of the Gospel, and the ability to receive true forgiveness stems from our understanding of our own depravity. I may not have committed sin “X” and hopefully I never will, but if circumstances change drastically (and they can) who knows what I would be capable of doing? Maybe I would even commit that sin I swore I never would commit.

Armed with that knowledge, let us forgive whole heartedly without a feeling of condescending superiority. Let us forgive as ones who have been forgiven, and who will need more forgiveness in the future. At let us forgive as ones who realize that God and circumstances, undeserved Grace, are the only things that separate us from the sins that we so despise.

*And the only thing saving me when I do fall into it

God Loves Pharisees

2010-12-20T10:49:00.002-05:00

Recently I was at a student development retreat where we were discussing the parable of the prodigal son. Now I loves me a good student development retreat, and I also loves me a good parable. As usual, Jesus tells an awesome story, the Pharisees get mad, and then they talk about killing Jesus. Years later some pastor says "lets take another look at this story and try to see it in it's appropriate context." That's code for "throw the pharisees under the bus."

Which, in most ways is appropriate to do. Pharisees will always be the poster child for "missing the point" because they had front row seats to the biggest person and biggest event in history, and were too focused on making sure they gave a tenth of their spices to the temple every Saturday and nit-picking the savior of the world for not washing his hands before he ate.

So I get the point. We are right to criticize the pharisees, especially because it usually seems like Jesus is doing it too. But Jesus is only doing it to make a point. If Jesus could love tax collectors, prostitutes, and the roman soldiers that were nailing him to the cross, he could probably also find it in His heart to love religious leaders who missed the point. (Granted, they did quite a bit of harm in his name).

All I'm saying is that Jesus loved everyone, and even though the pharisees were blowing it big time, they were trying. Which is probably the same thing you would say about me. Its just good to remember that we are all on the same side here and even though Pharisees will always judge sinners, it doesn't mean that sinners like us should always be judging pharisees.

(Although, I realize that pharisees are sinners, and I'm both a sinner and a pharisee at times)

Taylor in the News

2010-12-17T08:01:00.002-05:00

Hey friends, sorry about my long absence. I've been tied up with life lately. Well, to be honest, I have been tied up playing "Donkey Kong." Which is not a very good reason to stay away from my blog.

Anyway, just wanted to continue to spread the word about good old Taylor U in the news. Most of the people who read this blog probably already know about this, but in case you didn't

Click here

I plan to blog some more over Christmas break, so hopefully I will be back here soon. Oh, and in case anyone is wondering, Cortney and I still haven't been able to get our driver's licences. I think there might be another blog dedicated to that saga coming up soon.

The Israelites

2010-12-04T13:12:00.002-05:00

I'm not sure if I thought of something cool or if this is something that everyone besides me has heard before, but if you have heard this comparison before, I apologize.

I think it's cool how often God uses relationships in the Bible as a model for how he wants to relate to us. Marriage is a relationship that God uses as a metaphor, and so is his relationship with the Israelites.

I think there is a similarity between our salvation and the Israelites' acquisition of the promised land. In fact I think it's very similar.

The first step into the promised land was taking the city of Jericho. It was the threshold between the desert and promised land, a watershed moment in history. And God did all of the work. God brought down the walls of the city with one fell swoop after the Israelites marched around the city seven times. It was a miracle. The Israelites were given something they did not deserve through no effort of their own besides faith.*

After that miraculous victory they spend the rest of the book of Joshua and Judges trying to take the rest of the promised land by waging a long war with all kinds of people whose names end in "ite." God says that they need to mercilessly root out all of these people and eradicate them, claiming the land of Canaan for Israelites and the Israelites alone. It is a lot of hard work that requires generations of effort for the people of God. Lets just say that this campaign, which relied much on the efforts of man, had mixed results.

In the case of the modern day Christian,the promised land is the Christian life.** Getting in is the easy part. Well, actually it's the hardest part because it requires a miracle. But it's the easiest part for us because God does all the heavy lifting. It took the death of Jesus and the reworking of our entire understanding of God's covenant to get us there, but God was able to save us from our sins and usher us into a righteous standing with him. It is the watershed moment in our lives where overnight we have gone from sin and damnation to righteousness and Heaven. And it was all God's doing. Much like tearing down the walls of Jericho to usher in a new era of Israelite history.

What happens next is a little less miraculous, and a lot more difficult (for us). We have to actually begin living as Christians. It becomes time to root out and mercilessly destroy sin an our lives and claim it for God and for God alone. Using our own efforts, it is up to us to do the rest of the work and eliminate kill off the rest of the Canaanites (and whatever else-ites). This is a long and arduous process that God doesn't just do for us overnight. And if you are anything like me and the Israelites, I would assume that you are dealing with "mixed results" on this front.

And that's the story of judges. Theres some good stuff and some bad stuff, but basically things don't go well for the Israelites when they try to do things on their own. God should be their king and they should stick with him. Because when they forget to stay close to him and continue to conquer in his name, things get ugly. Just like in our lives.

"Well wait just a darn minute" you will say. "I agree with the first part of what you are talking about here, but you have gone to far with this "do it yourself" stuff you are describing. We do need to put some effort into killing off the sin in our lives. But you act like it's all up to us and God doesn't help us! We definitely need to rely on God to change us or we will never EVER succeed in "taking the promised land!""

That's a good point. You got me there. And that's exactly why we turn back to the Israelites. If you look at Joshua 7 you see this guy named Achan disobeying God and bringing a lot of ruin down on the Israelites. Basically, God does not support them in a battle and they lose big time. Joshua has to punish Achan and get their act cleaned up before God gives them another victory. You would think they would learn pretty well from this early example but...well, that's why the Old Testament stays interesting.

Even though it's "our job" now to win the victories, we really can't do it without God. If we are going to be like Achan and think that we have a better plan (and to be honest, if I were Achan I would be tempted to do the same thing) I don't think we should be surprised if we are not strong enough the win the victories we think we should win or take the promised land the way we thought we would. Ultimately, it's still God doing the heavy lifting. The only difference is that it's us doing the heavy lifting now too. Just like the Israelites.

"Wait a minute" you might say "That last sentence didn't really make a lot of sense. I was really following everything and you were drawing some nice little parallels there. But now I feel like you just dropped us in a paradox. Are you going to resolve that? Do you even know HOW to resolve that? Are you 100% sure what you are even talking about?"

Good question. The answer is "nope." But if you enjoyed the thought process without a definite conclusion, you're welcome. And if you didn't...well at least it was free.

*Well, that, and killing everyone in the city after the walls came down.
** You might also say it's heaven, but stick with me on this one.

Oh yeah. I learned the word "watershed" a while back and it's a fun one for purposes like this. It's a geographic term referring to how water flows. If there is a high point in the land all the water on one side of that point will flow in one direction, and all the water on the other side will flow the other way. So in the United States, the Rocky mountains act like a watershed. It's the point that says rain water is either going to flow towards california or towards the plains. It's used in a historical sense to say "before this moment, everything was one way, now that this has happened, everything is different forever."

Thanksgiving

2010-11-25T00:57:00.002-05:00

As I'm writing this, it is almost Thanksgiving, so I think it's only fitting that I should write a holiday themed blogpost. Something that you can read as you sit back on your couch, watch the Lions lose a game, and drift off to sleep with the warm, comforting feeling of triptephan coursing through your system.

I just wanted to note that I think giving thanks is closely related to humility.

It's hard to be too prideful about who you are or what you've done when you keep in mind all the advantages and blessing you have had to help you get there.

I'm a smart guy. And a lot of times I am prideful about just how smart I am and how good of a leader I can be. But I would like to take some time to think of some of the things that go into that that I should be thankful for.

Genetics (both my parents were smart)
Both of my parents went to college
Grew up with smart sisters.
Dad read to me when I was young
There were many books in the house
My parents valued my education
My parents were involved with my education
I went to good schools
I had good teachers
I was encouraged to read
I have had the opportunity to travel
I had the resources to go to an expensive private college
I was encouraged to go to graduate school
I could afford graduate school

I am thankful for all of those things, and I am responsible for none of them. It's true that I have worked hard and studied to be as smart as I am, but that is just one part of it, and probably not even the most important part.

I would like to be in the habit of being consciously thankful for the things in my life. ESPECIALLY when it is in regards to things about which I am prideful.

Happy Thanksgiving everyone, I hope you are all awed and humbled by God's generousness in all of our lives.

Something I made

2010-11-19T16:26:00.004-05:00

Hey Guys, Not sure if I put this on my blog before on not...I think it was on facebook.

I just presented this lil' "educational" about video games at Letourneau.

I was also talking while I was showing this presentation, so if you wonder "what's up with that picture?" I bet I probably would have explained it if you had actually been there. The main point is, As Christians we are exposed to a lot of things that are different from how God intended them to be. We are watchful and vigilant about some of these things when they overtly challenge or morals, but we should look also for subtle implications and themes that promote values and ideas contrary to what we believe. We do this pretty well with music and movies (sometimes) but how about with video games?

Enjoy (if it works...click in the bottom right hand corner of the little window, it will give you an option for a full screen mode or other viewing modes. If you just view it in this column it will cut off the right side of the screen)

Video Games on Prezi

Assessment

2010-11-15T08:31:00.003-05:00

As we have learned in higher education, assessment is a really good thing that gets a really bad reputation. Mainly because professors don't want other people telling them what to do. But professors use assessment too. they do it all the time. But when they do it it's called "grading."

I've seen grading from both sides, I've been a student for a long time, and I married a teacher, so I understand that students and teachers look at grading in very different ways. For the student, the grade is something you strive for. Everything you do is to "make the grade" and it is the end goal. For a teacher, the grade is largely irrelevant except that it is a way of measuring learning, which is actually the end goal.

Teachers don't really care about grades because they are arbitrary letters. What they care about is learning, and grades are just the methods they use to measure them. Students, on the other hand, are always confusing the measurement for the goal itself. That's why they will sometimes ask professors "is this going to be on the test?" Students want to know what they will be evaluated on. Professors hate that question because it shows them that the students are just trying to jump through the hoops for the purpose of grades instead of trying to actually become a master of the material.

As a student,I know professors sometimes got frustrated that we wanted to know about the test, and that we focused so much on grades (I am personally guilty of this as well), but I always wanted to say "I promise that I'll stop thinking about the grade the moment you promise to stop grading me." It's hard not to focus on the grade when that is the only measurement you have to go by, and when that measurement is permanently recorded on a transcript that might affect your future.

All of this brings me to my point about Christian living. I believe a student struggling for his grade is caught in the same conundrum as a Christian reading the words of Paul. Paul is saying that it is not our works that save us, it is our faith. We need to be less concerned with the things we do, with the rules we observe, and with the level of righteousness we seem to be obtaining though our actions. Instead, we should be concerned more with drawing closer to God.

The question always comes up (and you've seen it on my blog before) "so Paul, does that mean we should just sin away without a care in the world?" To which Paul always responds "absolutely not."

A professor might tell a student "you need to worry less about grades and testing and papers, and focus more on learning the material, and developing a passion for the subject matter. You are too caught up on what you are going to get on each assignment that you aren't focusing at all on actually learning from what you are doing. And that's the most important thing." The student's response would probably be "does that mean that you don't care at all what I get for grades? So that as long as I think I"m learning I don't need to actually turn in the papers or answer any of the questions correctly?"

Unless this is the Dead Poet's Society the teacher will say "Absolutely not!"

Grades should be a natural outflow of learning. They are a reflection of true learning that helps the teacher understand what the student knows, and holds the student accountable for learning the true answers to the correct material. Good grading means that students who know more about the subject matter will naturally get better grades. Though this is not a perfect system, and sometimes tests and papers ask unfair questions or measure the wrong thing, this just means that sometimes teachers issue bad assignments, and not that grading is a bad practice in general.

You might say that grades aren't really a good measure because sometimes we know much about the subject but just miss a few specific things. For example, a senior in a calculus class might not do as well as a freshman in algebra class on an algebra exam because the senior now takes for granted many of the skills he once used in algebra and has relied on his calculator to do most of the work for him the past few years. But does that mean the senior knows less about math? No, that only shows a limited range of tests and grading. A different test with higher level math would clearly show that the senior in calculus understood much more math than the freshman. The algebra test was designed to measure a certain set of skills, not all mathematical ability in general. This just shows that a single test doesn't tell the whole story.

I hope you see that the above example is not an argument against grading. It's an example of why we should not place the ultimate emphasis on grading. Grades are relevant, but they are fallible. In the same way, we should not put the ultimate emphasis of our Christian walk on the fruits of our relationship with Christ. The emphasis should be on the relationship itself.

We should focus most strongly on what draws us nearer to Christ and on being transformed into His likeness. We should know His character and spend time with Him and reflecting on Him. However, we should not be unaware of, or irresponsible for the good things He would like us to do. I've heard it said "love God, and don't worry about the rest." And that's true if you are a perfect person with a perfect, unfailing love. But if you are a sinner like me, it might be a good idea to consciously pay some attention to some of the other "stuff" that goes into being a Christian, such as being honest, generous, patient, and humble etc... These are good things to work on because they are hopefully the kinds of things that will be revealed when we grow in our relationship with God, just like good grades should come when we grow in our understanding of math. Just don't make these good things the end goal, keep them in perspective where they should be...the results of true learning.

Perhaps I've gone around in circles too much on this post. Maybe I should have stopped earlier and let you draw all the inferences instead of trying to point them out myself. I wanted so much to get some of these ideas out there that this might be a poorly written post in which I just throw around words willy nilly and get as redundant as most pastors in a 3 point sermon. If that's the case forgive me, but I would like to create one more image with my words before I go. Now that I've said all this, I'll boil it down to one last thought.

A student who focuses on grades runs the risk of not truly learning. He may not develop a passion for his studies and will likely not retain much of the material. He shows no respect for the subject and has missed the point. A student who focuses solely on the material is much better and shows he understands what school is for. But if he fails to turn in his assignments how will the teachers know if he is learning correctly, or even the right material? He will eventually fail out of school because his great knowledge, unpracticed, will be worthless to him. A good student does focus on the material and not the grades. But it is still important for him to take the time to actually complete his assignments, as this is a form of studying too. They are not the most important thing, but they go hand in hand with the most important thing.

In short, I've spent way too much time worrying about my grade. I don't want to do that any more, and I don't think that me, or anyone else should ever ask God "is this going to be on the test?"

More Writings

2010-11-07T00:57:00.004-04:00

Hello again friends

As you are well aware, I am a writer in the same sense that throwing a NERF football to your 8 year old nephew makes you a quarterback. In case anyone is interested in my latest "pass" I've provided a link to something I've been writing. As Hugh would say, it's part of my "files."

I haven't gone through and edited at all, so it's likely to be quite terrible. In fact, if you are one of those people who can't tolerate my spelling errors perhaps you should stay away. Or, if you are one of those kinds of people that doesn't find it that interesting to read all the ramblings of every 20 something year old who feels that the internet has given him the right to broadcast all his thoughts to people who don't want to hear them...then you should probably stay away too. If you are my parents, you'll probably read it because I live in Texas and you don't get to see me very much.

But anyway, here is the latest from my files. At the Robert Jordan like pace I write you can expect another gripping installment sometime next summer.

section 2

P.S. someone commented on my use of grammar on my blog the other day. She mentioned that I ended some sentences with prepositions. I'm sorry about that. From now on, ending a sentence with a preposition is something up with which we shall not put.

Greatest Hits

2010-11-04T21:32:00.005-04:00

Hey Friends

So I get a lot of feedback about my blog. Sometimes people say things like "hey Steve, I really liked that one post about the mini. Why haven't you written anything that funny the past couple of years." Or else they will say "Hey Steve, your spelling errors and typos are embarrassing. Seriously, it's painful."

And that's lead me to believe that my readers are loyal fans that have stuck with me over the years no matter how bad my spelling or how long my absences are. And I thought..."wow...that's weird." But I'm going to operate under the assumption that if you are reading my blog right now, there is a good chance that you actually like reading my blog. That's why I've gone back and categorized some of my favorite entries into an easy to find format. So that all readers, new, and old, can enjoy some of my best posts. (Or, actually, maybe the reason I did it was because I realized that I had posted some things twice, that I couldn't find stuff I was looking for, and that the reason I started a blog in the first place was to keep track of my thoughts, and that's kinda impossible if there is no system.)

Well whatever.

At the bottom of this post I've included some "labels." If you click on the labels they will take you to all my previous posts that have the same labels on them. So for example, all of my favorite "serious" posts are under the label "thoughtful."
All my favorite funny posts are labeled under "classic"

I felt a little presumptuous labeling stuff as "classic" and about half-way through I decided that was stupid, and that I was going to change it. But by that point...I was already half way through. And there was no way I was going back.

A smarter person would figure out a way to post all of these "labels" somewhere permanently. But you are reading my blog, so for now, if you want to find your favorite post, you are going to have to click around through the labels at the bottom. Hope you enjoy!

P.S. There has been some conversation about going back and fixing spelling errors and typos. I think I'm actually going to work on that some, but it's going to take a while, Rome wasn't built in a day...Though I doubt you could compare my Blog to Rome. Few cities though, no matter how small and crappy, were ever built in a day.

Stuff Girls Like: Being Scared

2010-11-02T18:39:00.004-04:00

I know that men sometimes to stupid things like ask their wives to pepper spray them or eat acorns. As men, sometimes we invite negative physical experiences because we wish to prove how tough we are or because we are idiots.

Women, on the other hand, seem to find it fun to invite the negative emotional experience of fear. There is nothing that girls like more than being afraid of things that aren’t actually scary. Let me explain.

Girls will go to great lengths to muster up a feeling of fear in a very contrived environment. They will gather all their closest, most timid friends and rent “scary movies” in which poor helpless girls are isolated and terrorized by monsters or (the most terrifying enemy) men. Girls love to watch other girls in frighteningly compromising situations. “Oh know, that creeper is behind her and she broke a heel. What if she can’t run?” They will even go to great lengths to enhance the mood of terror and paranoia. “Hey, lets turn our the lights! Let’s watch a movie on Friday the 13th! Let’s invite Amanda, she always freaks out the most! Lets cut the phone line! How about we leave our headlights on so our car is dead if we have to make a getaway! Why done we leave all the doors unlocked and leave our address and a picture of us at a bar so maybe some drunk guys will come looking for us with malicious intentions while we are all sleeping!

My Wife and her friends like to go geo-caching. Which, if you don’t know, means using a GPS to look for a treasure that someone else has hid. The coordinates of these treasures are posted on the internet so other people can find the treasure It’s a fun little game. Except when Cortney and her friends are doing it, it’s not about the treasure. It’s about the fear. They only go at night and they only go to treasures that are buried either in the woods or in a cemetery.

Of course, they also need a man to go. Because without a man they are too scared to get out of the car and poke around the backwoods of Indiana by themselves. These nights are still fun though because they involve driving back in forth in front of a “creepy” road and saying “this time we’re gonna do it. This time we’re gonna go out there.” You can do that for at least 30 minutes before it’s gets boring and it’s time to go back to starbucks.

Being the man on this kind of trip requires caution and a delicate balance. Without my presence the girls can’t get out of the car. But if I go out of my way to make things TOO safe by saying ridiculous things like “I don’t think that’s an axe murderer, I think that’s just the guy who lives here” or “no, I’m pretty sure there isn’t much violent crime in this county” they will roll their eyes and tell me I’m ruining it for everyone. I am “no fun” and they wonder why they brought me. Of course, when I get bored of wandering around in the dark, they all follow me back into the car.

And then there is the haunted house. Girls love haunted houses because it gives them a chance to scream, it is scary, people threaten them and creepy masked strangers get to touch them in the dark.* They will wait in line to pay money for this experience.

As you can see, I have conclusively proven that Girls like to be scared, Cortney especially. But we don’t have enough money to hire strangers and professionals to scare her all the time. So I have decided that this month I’m going to have some “do it yourself” scares in my house. If you really want to make that special woman in your life feel extra special, scare the crap out of her with some of these simple, at home, do it yourself scares.

1) Get up in the middle of the night and open the front door and go back to bed. She’ll find it in the morning. This works best if you live in a sketchy neighborhood

2) Bring a live rodent in your house.

3) Ask a buddy to prowl around in your house while you’re asleep and make a lot of noise. For extra effect, have him steal all the pictures of your wife (he’ll give them back later).

4) Here’s an easy one—take advantage of nature. A good thunderstorm or Tornado warning can really bring home the family fun if you take advantage of it.

5) Try setting off your smoke alarm at night.

6) If she’s ever home alone, call from an unknown number and breath heavily into the phone whenever she picks up. Girls love to watch movies where this happens.

It’s not about WHAT you do, it’s about the fact that you care enough to try. Girls LOVE being scared, so go out there and show her you love her. I guarantee you that every single on of these things is more fun than geocaching with people who won’t get out of the car.

*No innuendo intended.

Book Review

2010-10-26T11:33:00.001-04:00

A lot of people didn't like it when I used to do book reviews. I don't know why, I thought they were informative. But I'm posting one here because I haven't done it in a long time, and I just read a good book. Also, I promise it will be a short review.

I just read "Mere Christianity" again. And you know what, if you haven't read "Mere Christianity" yet, you deserve to be punched in the mouth.

comparing

2010-10-23T14:50:00.004-04:00

A wise man once told me that nothing good can ever come from coparing yourself to others. An annoyed man once told me that he worked at a camp where they paid employees differently from week to week depending on who they thought had a good attitude. They also told everyone not to compare paychecks becuase "comparison robs us of our joy."

I will never work at Gull lake Camp. But I agree with them about comparison. It's not a good thing.

I think we compare ourselves to other people because we are insecure, and want affirmation or reassurance that we are doing alright, that we are doing good enough. We compare ourselves to people in every imaginable way, but for this instance (because this is a blog and not a book, and brevity is everything) I would like to only focus on how we tend to compare ourselves in a Christian sense. We might think that another guy is "more spiritual" or a "better person" than us. We might think that he is "accomplishing more" or is really "making a difference." On the other hand, maybe we look around at the people we interact with every day and find that on the measures that matter to us most, we are doing pretty good.

There's a whole lot I could say about this, and I think there is a lot in there worth thinking about when it comes to value, comparison, and our need to measure ourselves. But again, that's too much to go into here. Instead I'm going to skip right to a metaphor.

Lets say two men were trying to jump to the moon. Tom was able to jump two inches higher than Sam. Sam goes home to his family depressed and feeling down on himself. Not because he didn't make it to the moon; but because Tom was two inches closer than he was, and he feels bad that he is doing relatively worse on something that is important to him. At the same time, Tom goes home feeling pretty good about himself because he is a good jumper. It doesn't matter to him that he is never going to make it to the moon, he's just glad that he's getting a little bit closer than the next guy. After all, that's really all you can ask for, since no one could ever actually jump to the moon.

You can see where both of these men are in error, and they are both missing the point. It's not about how high they are jumping compared to each other, it's about getting to the moon.

Now you might say to me "but Steve, if your metaphor is about getting closer to God, or living the way that He would want us to live, I think it's important to "jump" as high as you can, and you should feel good about jumping higher and higher, even if you never get to the moon."

Good point. That's the logic I use all too often. And that's the logic that "Tom" uses. But that's assuming that our relationship with God is measured quantitatively instead of qualitatively. That's assuming that God says "good work, through your effort at being Holy you are 1.2% deserving of my Grace. Sam is only 1.1% worthy." We all know that we'll never be good enough, but we want to be as close to good enough as we can be.

What Tom and Sam should both stop and think about is that they are going about this all wrong. Lets think outside the box* and realize that no matter how high a person can jump, literally; they will never get to the moon. Even assuming that Tom could quantitatively increase his jumping powers a million times over, even if he could jump so high that he could escape the earth's gravity, he will still never get to the moon. He would burn up in the atmosphere or die without oxygen in space. In the end, it's not really about how high you can jump, it's about finding a space ship.

Am I cheating in this metaphor? Maybe you feel a little ripped off but I'm going to stick with it. Because God does not say that any of us are 1.1% or 1.2% worthy of his grace. We are all 0.0000000% worthy and Jesus is 100% worthy because really it's an all or nothing kind of thing.

Does that mean then that we should never try jumping? Can we be jealous of people who are better astronauts? Does that make John Glenn like Jesus? I don't know, it's a metaphor! Don't get too literal. It breaks down eventually.**

The point I want to make though, is that we should not be comparing ourselves to others when it comes down to this kind of thing. We should not be competing because God doesn't measure us that way. We pretend we are measured that way, but pride and insecurity are the only rewards we get for doing well or poorly on made up measures that don't matter. It's not a good competition to enter cause everyone is a loser.

*Which, in this instance, means "not like an idiot"
**As Ben Taylor taught me, it is not to be a "heuristic" metaphor

Essays on Greatness part IV

2010-10-12T21:26:00.003-04:00

Friends, in case you have been living under a rock, in a cave, on Mars, you may not know that The Ohio State Buckeyes have recently been ranked #1 by the associated press, the USA today, Ryan Seacrest, Bill gates, and the pope.

Now, some might consider this a meaningless exercise, because the Buckeyes would, in truth, BE the number one team in the country regardless of arbitrary rankings. That's sort of like saying the united nations got together and decided that water was wet, or that Jar Jar Binks was annoying.

But I guess this is a good thing because at least it demonstrates that most of the people involved in college football rankings are in touch with reality. There have been several instances in the past in which people used the outcome of various games to support their wild ideas about Florida and USC actually being college football champions a few years back. In fact, I have taken the liberty of correcting the Wikipedia page that seemed to randomly assign championships to teams that were actually ineligible to win.*

Some people are not accepting of the fact that most of our opportunities in life are due to socioeconomic factors including race, income, level of our parents' college education, and where and when we are born. Surprisingly, it seems that most people are even less accepting of the equally true fact that even more of our daily activities are actually dictated at a much higher level by Jim Tressel. Coach Tressel's influence extends far beyond the football fields and you can thank him for most of the things that are right with America right now. Just a few things Jim has been working on lately include

1) Sunshine
2) The Office
3) Taking "Wanda Sikes at Large" off the air
4) Judge Judy
5) the 5 day work week
6) emancipation
7) Gravity.

Coach Tressel was sick once a few years back and missed a day at work. The current economic situation and the oil spill near the Gulf are both symptoms.

So please, next time someone tells you that the Buckeyes are overrated, or that Oregon should really be number one, don't argue with them. Just smile and nod and let him go on thinking whatever he wants. He may wish to tell you that the sun orbits around the moon or that in his personal opinion, Alaska should be warmer. It doesn't make much difference. Just be glad that we currently live in a world where the Buckeyes are hear to save us from ourselves on a weekly basis.

*approximately 119 teams are ineligible to be national champion ever year due to violation of NCAA rules about being the Ohio State Buckeyes. And, by the way, I am not making this up, the first such instance is a split decision between Princton and Rutgers in 1869. Both teams were 1-1. Yes that's right, two teams played ONE GAME, tied, and were both declared the national champion.

Fingers Pointing

2010-10-07T16:20:00.002-04:00

A lot of times I learn important lessons about myself, about God, or about others. I can learn these lessons in all different kinds of ways, but mostly through screwing up. One of the frustrating things is that I feel often times like I am learning the same lessons that I could have sworn I have learned before. I will encounter something that makes me say "wow, I will really take this to heart, and it will change my perspective forever." This normally means "until I get busy, or something else seems pretty important."

So how do we remember all the wisdom we encounter? And how do we remember to hesitate from making the same mistakes we have made in the past?

I had a second grade teacher who told me that whenever you point a finger at someone,you have three more pointing back at yourself (for a visual, point just your index finger straight out in front of you, you'll see what I mean.)

I also had a pastor who told me that whenever he gives some one advice or really lays down a piece of wisdom, he feels the Holy Spirit telling him that he needs to take his own advice.

It occurs to me, when it comes to matters of sin, when DON'T we need to take our own advice? And when are we ever accusing anyone of something that we don't do ourselves in some way or another? Although we may never have lied on our taxes, does that mean we've never been dishonest? And even if we have never stolen something physical, does that mean that we have never tried to reap the benefits of something we did not sow?*

I have heard a story recently about a VERY arrogant and obnoxious student. He is very oblivious to what a negative impression he is leaving on the staff and faculty here at Peligro University** And I think to myself "wow, I wish I could really teach him a lesson. He has a lot to learn about respect" I think this as if I had nothing to learn about respect. My very profession is about challenging people to grow, and calling them out when they are wrong. What a great opportunity to remind myself every day of where I need to grow.

I want to challenge everyone (as well as myself) to think reflectively every time you either offer advice to people, or complain about the shortcomings of an individual who has done something wrong. And if you can't find something in your life that would benefit from some similar attention, I would be surprised.

Let me practice:

I think you really ought to do this whenever you can, as an effort to grow and to stay humble...and as a matter of fact, so should I.

*That is unless you are talking about a specific, isolated act, I find it difficult to say "we'll we've all smuggle a little cocaine at one time or another in our lives."

**I've learned my lesson from the Shane incident. I won't actually mention the name of my university on this blog because their Google alerts will tell them about it. And I know they check, I've talked to people who do the checking.

Holy

2010-10-01T09:51:00.002-04:00

So I've been reading "Mere Christianity" by C.S. Lewis. And I recommend that you all do. Even if you have read it before, I think you should read it again. Lewis himself said the he didn't think much of a book that you wouldn't want to read more than once.

In this book he begins building a case for the Christian faith, starting at the beginning. Starting at the assumption that there must be some type of powerful force out there in the world, and that it must be good. (He actually takes a few chapters to get there, but I won't try to paraphrase them for you, you should just read them).

And I put my book right there and stopped, because I was struck so hard with how terrible and frightening God could be. It was amazing.

Imagine if you will, an all powerful mysterious force that could not be seen, touched, or resisted. You might as well try turning the ocean around with your hands, or blowing the sun out with your breath. And this power, this force, was good.

So good, in fact, that it could not tolerate the presence of evil. Not in the slightest. The smallest little bit of evil would immediately be destroyed in the presence of this power. Like matter approaching the sun, or a something being dropped into a pool of strong acid, anything even remotely connected with evil would be utterly incinerated the second in came in contact with this good force. Nothing but pure goodness could stand in it's way. There were no exceptions, no excuses. The moment even the slightest imperfection appeared in our hearts we could be destroyed on the spot because NOTHING short of pure goodness could be tolerated in the slightest.

This might seem cruel to you. But in fact it is the opposite of cruel. It is the complete and utter absence of cruelty, vice, pride, or sin of any kind. It only seems cruel because it is frightening. All of us have probably experienced something that we want to call "unfair" or complained about a strict boss or teacher when deep down inside we've known the whole time that it is really quite fair, and we just don't like it.

How would you feel about this terrible, awful, force of mass destruction? Because this force really IS God. I think I never really grasped (nor do I really grasp it still) How would you feel if this force appeared in your house tonight? Would you fall down on your face crying "not worthy"? Would you cower in fear, humiliated by your lack of goodness and awestruck by the uncontrollable torrents of power and goodness threatening to sweep you away? Because that's what everyone in the Bible did whenever God or an angel showed up. They ducked for cover.

This is God. No "Ifs", no "buts" however, there is an "and." This is truly God, and he is also merciful to the point that he has come up with a way to eradicate our sin without destroying us. Now the old testament language of "covering of sins" and "the wrath of God" make a lot more sense to me. We are shielded and protected from the "cruel" goodness and we are declared good despite falling short in our own efforts.

Amazing grace, how sweet the sound that saved a wretch like me.

Some Writings

2010-09-27T17:26:00.003-04:00

I took down the "hit counter" and people have stopped leaving comments as often. This means I have no way of knowing how many people are actually reading this. But I will keep posting on the internet like a man shouting the the woods or radio waves bouncing off asteroids in deep space. Then years later I can look back on everything I've done and at least be able to say "Well...that was a lot of words."

Speaking of lots of words. I realize that most people aren't interested in my writings. In fact I would bet that over 99% of the world is completely unaware of me entirely. But if you managed to make it to this blog, there is the small assumption that you may be interested in reading what I have to write. That, or you are married to me.

Regardless, here is something you may or may not want to read. I have begun working on what Hugh White once called "my files." I can't say that I am writing a book becuase that would have a coherrent purpose, there would be a goal in mind, and I would be annoyed with myself for being the kind of person who says he's writing a book when in all reality, little writing is being done.

It would be more accurate to say that sometimes I pull out a notebook and write some stuff. By sometimes, I mean hardly ever. But it does happen. In fact, that what this blog is actually for. I found a place to organize the random little things I call thoughts, and a chance to write them down without the need to try to organize them into a unified structure. The hope is that one day, I could take some of the thoughts from this blog and string them together in a way that doesn't resemble the incomprehensible ramblings of the typical emerging adult. Well anyway, I have begun to do that just a teeny weeny bit in the form of "my files." AKA--the crap I write.

SO, when I actually get around to writing a legit "thing" I may start posting a link to a google doc here on my blog. You could read them, save them, delete them, not read them, or laugh at them. It's your perogative.

Here's a link to something I started

INTRO

In it, I do use the word "book" but it's because I didn't have a better word to use.

Also, apparently I was published in the ACSD magazine this June. I found out about it last week. I guess we are not printing those any more. I was waiting for it to show up in my mailbox and it never did. If my boss hadn't noticed it I probably would have gone the rest of my life wondering if it had ever gotten published, or if ACSD was playing a prank on me.

Normally I wouldn't draw attention to this, but again, you came all the way here to my blog, I guess you like to read my writing.

My article

Reading the Gospel

2010-09-26T19:44:00.002-04:00

So here's a thought. I know that we've all talked about this idea in church. About how the Jewish people in Jesus' time really misunderstood him. They thought he was the chosen one who was going to overthrow the Romans and lead an enslaved people to freedom and power. And they were right. He was (and is). But totally not in the way they thought he was. I'm not telling you anything you didn't already know. But this is cool.

This week I was reading my Bible and I finished the last book of the O.T. Malachi. Malachi talks about how Jesus will rise with healing in his wings to restore the people. It's the prophecy. Then Matthew starts off with visions, angels, and a star in the sky. Try reading the Gospels like you know the background, but not the ending. It's a pretty epic story. It's like Star Wars or Lord of the Rings or...The story of Moses. But with a crazy, surprise, twist ending. It's intense. Try reading it that way, it's pretty cool.

The Plans I have

2010-09-21T22:35:00.004-04:00

"For I know the plans I have for you, plans to prosper you, and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future"

Anyone ever head this wonderful verse from Jeremiah 29 before? It actually is a wonderful verse, as it demonstrates God's faithfulness to Israel. One of my favorite professors*, Phil Collins, says that this is one of the most misquoted verses in the entire Bible. Today when I was talking with one of my students, I got some better perspective on why.

If you read the verse in context you see that God basically says "stay put in Babylonian captivity, settle down, plant a garden, get married, and settle in for the long haul because you aren't going anywhere for at least 70 years. So why don't you just be faithful and do the best you can with what you have.

In case you didn't know, Americans are obsessed with the idea of individualism, and the idea of instant gratification. We love it. That's why we have personalized little devices that carry all our favorite music, we are positive that everyone wants to read our facebook pages (and our blogs) and we can customize everything from our academic majors to our drink at starbucks. All of which is available on the internet instantly.

So God tells his people, as a nation, to stay faithful and wait. Pass the faith onto future generations, because this generation is going to live in captivity. We have taken this as individuals to mean "God is going to lead me to some awesome calling, and after a tough ride, I am going to experience something great. This verse promises me that he has a happy plan just for me."

Notice how, in the case of Israel, God TOTALLY keeps his promises, delivers on what he says he will do, and remains faithful to a people who do not deserve it. God is the real deal, and no one is calling that into question. He really did have a plan for the Israelites, and it came true. And yet, the majority of people who originally heard this prophecy probably died slaving away in Babylonian captivity.

I know that we give the Israelites a hard time for turning their backs on God. I'm not sure how they responded to this, but I know how we would respond in today's America. Not positively.

I believe in God and his plan. I really do. But I would not be surprised not only if His plan looked different than mine (which we seem to understand) but also that it might not even look like anything that resembles a "plan" in my understanding of the word. God's ways are higher than my ways, his thoughts are higher than my thoughts, and I think that his plans might just be higher than my plans. Qualitatively as well as quantitatively.

*I just said ONE of my favorites, I still have room in my heart for Tim.

notches

2010-09-18T10:51:00.002-04:00

Hello everyone in blogger land. Thanks for coming.

Two things.

1) I feel like I am not able to blog as much as I would like to these days because having a job and a wife makes makes me a little more busy than being a single grad student. So if you are getting frustrated with checking my blog three times a day (which I know you do)and not seeing any updates, I would suggest that you actually subscribe to this blog and You'll receive updates as I post.

2) I think I am going to try writing a "choose your own adventure novel" with the help of volunteers. So if any of you would like to help, please let me know.

And now for my brief thought on pride.

I one tried to come up with a list of things I would do to become more humble. The list ended up being to long and I couldn't remember to do all of it. So I'm going to try to start over with one thing at a time. So, here's my first idea.

Rejoice over small embarrassments. In my new job, I get to opportunity to screw up on a fairly frequent basis. Not that things are going terribly wrong, but just that there are plenty of things that I could be doing better. And when I make mistakes, and people notice, my first instinct is to try explain it in such a way that I come out looking alright. I think this is a fairly normal reaction, but it's a reaction based on avoiding embarrassment.

I know that everyone probably does this to one extent or another, but what if instead, I was able to take every embarrassment as a learning opportunity? Everyone* likes to see an arrogant jerk taken down a couple of notches. But what if I liked to see myself taken down a notch, not because I'm a glutton for punishment, but because little embarrassment that are out of my control remind me I don't control people's perceptions of myself. I think being down a few notches is a good place to be, so I should rejoice when I get that opportunity.

The bigger they are, the harder they fall, so I'll be excited to take little falls.

*or at least me

C.S. Lewis is Dead

2010-09-09T22:52:00.003-04:00

This probably isn't news to any of you, but I've got a point to make here.

Sometimes I wonder, “what should I be doing in this life?” It seems I’ve accomplished all of my major goals. I went to Taylor, I married a women from Taylor, and I saw the buckeyes win a national championship. I’m not really sure if there is much else.

I could write a book. That’s something that I think about a lot. Although, it turns out that that would be a lot of work. Sometimes people encourage me to do it, but once you really think about what that entails...dang. Next time you think you or some one else should write a book, sit down and start doing it. It’s not very fun. I now because I’ve tried several times.

The reason i bring that up specifically is because for a pseudo-intellectual like me, becoming a writer (or better yet, a traveling inspirational speaker) is the finest thing I can think of. That’s why C.S. Lewis is my hero. Good ol’ Clive was the best in the world at taking important, abstract concepts about God and putting them into terms that people of average intellect could understand and appreciate. I wish I could be him.

But to paraphrase another author (whose name escapes me right now) When I get to heaven, Got won’t ask me “why weren’t you C.S. Lewis?” He will ask me “why were you not Steve?”
God loved C.S. Lewis. But I don’t think that he loved him because of his books. I doubt that the God of the universe was terribly impressed with Lewis’ apologetics. So what chance do I have? In the end, Lewis died and went to heaven, and was welcomed in warmly with love not because he was the greatest theologian of the century, but because he was a child of God.

Those are the same credentials that I have. And the odd thing is, even though I’m not going to have the same level of influence, or leave the same kind of legacy as Lewis did, I’m going to wind up just like him. Welcomed into heaven by the Father who loves me...just because I am his child.

Stuff Girls Like: Dancing

2010-08-25T19:55:00.002-04:00

Welcome once again to "Stuff Girls Like." For those of you who don't remember, SGL is a installment dedicated to enlightening men on the things in this world that are universally loved by all girls, and will cause girls to act insulted if you ever question them.

It's been wedding season lately. I've been to several weddings, including my own. And I've realized that for reasons unbeknownst to me, girls can not resist the need to "get down" at every possible opportunity.

Dancing,is, I suppose, a cool enough activity. I never do it because I'm bad at it and I find it embarrassing. Sort of the way a lot of people might feel if they were asked to sing in a talent show, naked. Personally, when the music starts to play, I begin to wonder if this is the lucky day I'll get a spinal injury. Cortney, on the other hand gets SOOOO excited to "dance" with her friends.

Why "dance" in quotation marks you ask? Because when girls "dance" they actually stand in a circle facing each other and sing along loudly with the music. This is one of their favorite past times, especially when the song is about men treating women as sexual objects.

For some reason....girls love this. Hearing a musical artist reference the size of their bottoms or inform them that he would like to take them home after they've had a lot to drink is enough to make them all scream and run to the nearest open space so they can form a circle.

Girls will also demand that you join this circle. If you, (for some strange reason) do not want "move it" and sing about things that one might do to a girl in the club, then you are "no fun." Girls dancing at a wedding is a lot like jr. high kids smoking cigarettes, (as portrayed on early 90's TV). You know it's bad for you, you know you will hate it, but you run a high risk of not being accepted if you don't join in. Unlike smoking, you will also be made fun of AFTER you start dancing, because you are bad at it.

To combat this, I have decided that I am going to be doing something else when the dancing starts. I will be singing the song that makes everyone dance. Girls will be so excited when I take the stage that they will look at each other and scream and make all the men they are with feel awkward.

If you want to practice dancing right now, I suggest you get a couple of inanimate objects you can pretend are friends, and place them in a circle facing inward. Play a heavy bass beat on your speakers, and sing very loudly, the lyrics to my new hit song, which will be played at every wedding you go to next summer. It's called "fat booty club night.*"

Shawty, I see you on the dance floor.
Your proportions are pleasing, though unrealistic
I bet other women feel inferior around you.
I hope you are drinking a lot tonight
because after I dance with you I want you to make bad decisions
It's ok though. Because we are having fun.
Everyone in the club has lots of fun.
Dancing until it is very late is a good way to enjoy yourself
Dance, Dance, yeah!

* Guaranteed to make girls stand in a circle and sing.

The Ocean

2010-08-15T16:15:00.002-04:00

I just went on a student leader retreat with LeTourneau, and it was really awesome. I learned a lot about myself and thought a lot about Christian leadership.

So you might be hearing a lot of "nuggets" that ultimately came from that retreat. So here's an interesting one.

You may remember that one time I compared God's love to the ocean. I don't think that I'm the first person to do this. Before I said that wondering if God's love would be enough for you is like wondering if the ocean would be enough water to fill your cup or wash your cloths. Well, to keep up with that analogy, if God is the ocean, then a lot of us are just people standing on the beach.

A lot of people will look at the water and think it's beautiful, and never go in. This is how I would probably be if you ever managed to drag to a beach again. The water is fine where it is, and we really like it, just as long as we don't have to get involved.

Some people will get their feet wet and test the water out a little bit. But they'll feel the undertow pulling at their feet, feel the waves rolling up against their shins, and they'll decide they don't want to go any deeper.

And then there are those who obey the current and rush in with wild abandon.* You can be completely soaked, in over your head, and surrounded entirely by the love of God. Now, I know everyone reading this is thinking "ok I get it, dive in, go in the ocean. Got it."

Well here's the thing. Maybe on my best day, I've been that person who has dove completely into the ocean with reckless abandon. But the thing is, I've climbed back out of the water. Because sadly, I'm a tourist, when I should be a professional scuba diver, and a surfer, and a deep sea fisher, and a navy SEAL, and possibly a sea cucumber.

Because even if you have been completely submerged in the water, you still haven't seen the whole ocean. You haven't explored every nook and cranny. You haven't charted every square inch of ocean floor. Until you have touched every drop of water there is, you don't really know the ocean.

And that's kind of a cool thought. There is a lot more God out there to experience.

*For those of you who were Christians in 1992 and had a tape-deck, this would be the time to think about Steven Curtis Chapman singing "Diving in."

Embers

2010-08-09T22:56:00.002-04:00

Hey friends. I'm back and blogging in Texas. Things have been really hectic here and my job is a little bit overwhelming. I feel like I'm trying to bail water from a sinking boat with a spaghetti strainer. Note to self: Don't hire a new director of orientation three weeks before orientation.

Anyway, I've been thinking about Marriage. Probably because I just got married. I've actually been wanting to write about this kind of relationship for a long time, but I wasn't allowed to, because I had never been married. Now I've been married for less than a month, which means I'm a total expert and I know everything there is to know about marriage. If any of you would like advice on YOUR marriage, just let me know.

But anyway. I'm still in the exciting part of marriage. Cort and I are still getting to know each other, we aren't over the novelty of being "co-ed roommates," and we don't have money problems, obnoxious children, or slow metabolisms. Life is pretty cool. And yet, hopefully, the best is yet to come.

People tell me that if things all go the way they are supposed to Cortney and I could potentially love each other MORE in twenty years than we do now. But I've never really thought of my mid-forties as an exciting time that I'm looking forward to.

I think that (in many ways) a marriage is like a fire. The interesting part, the part that attracts people's eyes and attention, is the flames. The red-orange glow and the crackling sound that make fires so attractive come from the flickering flames that jump higher and higher as you add more fuel.

But the REAL purpose of the fire, the warmth, comes from the embers. The glowing coals at the bottom of the pile is really the part that throws off the most heat. Anyone who has ever really cooked over a fire knows that you wait a while for it to burn down, and cook the food low over the hot coals. The flames are pretty, but they aren't really doing nearly as much for you in the long run.

And I hope that's what marriage is like. I hope that when a lot of the flames die out, we'll be left with glowing coals, hot embers that are more powerful than the flames ever were.

I was happy when I realized this. I was even more happy when I realized that embers and flames aren't always mutually exclusive. After all, once you get some good embers going, you can always add more fuel to the fire. :)

Pepper Spray

2010-08-04T08:52:00.004-04:00

So I am back in Texas with my new wife and my new job. To be honest I'm more excited about the wife part. Our wedding was great and so was our honeymoon. I'd like to tell you all about them but the thing is, I have so many thoughts and emotions on the topic, I would have no way of breaking any of it down into coherent posts of an acceptable length. It's like there's a party in my head and everyone there has had way too much caffeine and lady Gaga is about to perform live in my cerebellum.

So we are going to have to wait until the contents settle a little bit before I can reflect on all of these experiences. And if you EVER expect me to talk about the tragic events that transpired in the NBA involving the king of Ohio then you are going to be disappointed because I JUST can't talk about it.

Instead I want to tell you about the time my wife pepper sprayed me.

Cortney and I had recently returned to Chicago and she found her pepper spray key chain that someone paranoid had given her as a gift. Now I had been asking her for a year if she wanted to pepper spray me because I kinda want to know how bad it would hurt, I wanted to have a really funny story, and because I wanted to show off and impress Cortney with my bravery and toughness.

Girls are never impressed by the right things.

Her brother was in the room as well and he used to be in the marines, he said "oh yeah I did that once. You wanna spray me too?" And Cort said..."yeah"

So amidst the violent protests of her mother, Cortney lead me and her brother Corey outside and sprayed us both in the face.

3 times.

For those of you who didn't know. Pepper spray does not begin working immediately. In fact you feel almost nothing the second it hits your skin. If this ever happens to you don't say "I don't think it's working, try it again. This time make sure you get it in my eye." You also probably shouldn't try to rub it all over your face just to make sure you got a "healthy dose."

Friends, let me tell you about a world of hurt. I've never given birth to a baby before, but I imagine that this is what it would feel like if you gave birth with your face, and the baby was make of paper cuts, sand-paper, and fire, and was liberally chucking little baby fist fulls of salt at your burning eyes every 3 seconds.

Then the burning REALLY started going.

As I lay in the fetal position crying, I wondered if Cortney was impressed by my bravery and toughness. She sounded more amused than impressed, and her mother sounded a bit annoyed. I'm sure that's just the way they respond to something too awesome for words.

After about 30 minutes I was able to open my eyes a little, and after 40 minutes the burning had almost subsided. In the resulting conversation my mother in law stated that she can't think of any pain worse than getting a paper cut in that skin between your fingers.

I disagree.

Was it all worth it? Do it yourself to find out.

Job "hunt"

2010-07-13T15:58:00.003-04:00

For those of you who have recently been in a heart wrenching job hunt (like my friend Dave, who applied to over 40 schools, or Kristen who got multiple on campus interviews that waited a month to tell her what they decided, or me, who had to move to Texas, or most of the real live adults in this world who have been out of work for a long time due to the the economy) let me tell you a story about my fiancee, who is apparently the most hirable woman in the country.

Today at 11:40 Phone call from a school that Cortney has had no previous contact with besides sending in her resume cold.

"Hello miss Korshak, we have your resume. We would like to interview you for a position at our school. Can you come in today?"

"Well I would love to but I am in chicago right now and you are in Texas and I am getting married in 4 days so I can't come down right now."

"Oh ok, well can we interview you over the phone later today?"

Today at 1:20 Phone interview, goes pretty well.

Today at 2:50
"Hello Miss Korshak, how would you like to get married and get a job all in one week...by the way, we need to know by 4:00?"

Oh yes that's right my friends. Cortney went through the hiring process in 5 hours. Let us also keep in mind that her track record for her career is now

2 phone interviews = 2 jobs

This does not count the time she told a school she wasn't interested in interviewing with them becuase they also wanted to make her the head soccer coach.

Apparently Cortney can't miss. I have decided that next time we move I am going to move I am just going to be

A leave of absence

2010-07-11T14:33:00.004-04:00

Hey friends.

It's been a difficult few days. Now that LeBron has left Cleveland I've had to double my depression meds and triple my therapy. But there is a chance that I will still be able to scrape together some semblance of meaning in life. I can still have kids and send them to Taylor.

Anyway. This week I am going to be going to Illinois to get married, then off to my honeymoon. I would like to still be blogging in the middle of all that, but I have a feeling that Cortney would rather I pay attention to her. SO, I think it will be a while before I am back here bloging. I hope that in that time we will figure out a solution to the LeBron situation. In the mean-time, peep these engagement pictures that my sister took of us last week.

Le Bron Watch

2010-06-30T23:09:00.003-04:00

Friends, we are living in dangerous times.

Lebron James, arguably the most amazing person not named Tressel to walk the earth since the fall of the Roman Empire, is becoming a free agent tonight in less than an hour.

This means that LeBron could potentially leave Cleveland.
If this happens, Cleveland is done for. Not just the team...the city. It is quite possible that the entire city will pack up and move away.

This is a REAL NEWS ARTICLE that I did not write, or find in the onion.

Friends, this is it. If I wasn't getting married this would have the potential to be the worst summer of my life.

We could potentially be on the verge of the biggest national disaster to befall Ohio since Michigan was admitted to the Union.

Watch and pray friends. It's all we can do.

quick and random

2010-06-29T10:42:00.002-04:00

Hey friends

A few quick thoughts.

1) Remember how great I said Texas was? Last night the air conditioning quit in the house I'm staying in. I kid you not, 92 degrees inside the house while I was trying to go to sleep. Was it 92 degrees in YOUR house last night you lucky Midwesterners?

2) In case something TERRIBLE happens I want to be proactive and make myself very clear. I am NOT a bandwagon Cavs fan. I am a dedicated LeBron fan. If he trades to the bulls or the heat I am gonna be buying their merchandise so fast it's gonna make your head spin. I want LeBron to have the greatest Career in NBA history, because no matter where he plays, he is an Akron boy. (He has my zip code, 330, tattooed on his arm). I might even put Miami back on my map of the united states.

3) I made fun of twitter in a previous post. AJ in Nashville pointed out that I was knocking it before I tried it. Friends have recently encouraged me to start "tweeting." Is this a good idea? let me get some feedback. I don't want to view it as a way to "stay in touch" I want to view it as a way to export my humor in bite sized chunklets to people who want it. Maybe it's a bad idea...I don't know

A New Home

2010-06-27T19:58:00.009-04:00

Greetings again from the Great Nation of Texas! I want you all to know that if the sun goes out in the next few years, don't worry, Texas is hot enough to heat all of your homes for the next decade until we get the situation figured out.

Many of you have been asking, "Steve, you seem to really be taking to Texas. How does that coincide with your love for Ohio? Do you think that you will love Texas more than Ohio? Will you become a Longhorns fan or root for Texas A&M? Will you forget how to read if you move to the "south?" Are you getting enough liquids?"

All these are good questions. And I must admit, I do like it down here. I think that the Nation of Texas has wooed me like so few other semi-independent city states could. I mean, don't you think I would fall in love with a state whose state food was Chili?*

Also The Constitution of 1845, which was the resolution that allowed Texas into the Union, stated that Texas had the right to divide into 4 states in addition to the original Texas. That legal right still remains true.** If you have been paying any attention to the reorganization of college football these past few weeks you would realize that Texas might actually take advantage of this state right so it can be represented 5 times in the "big" 12. Or as it will then be known the "Texas Twelve"

But even though I am really beginning to love this quasi-Mexican playground for guns and pick-up trucks I cannot ever give up my love for the one and only. Ohio will always remain number one in my heart. It will also always remain number two in my heart, just so Texas doesn't get cocky. The general area that is called the Midwest comes in at a close 3rd because it contains the birthplaces of Cortney, both my sisters, both my parents, as well Taylor University, and of course, most importantly Ohio.

As you can see below, I have recolored this collection of states to more clearly represent how I now understand America.
(click to enlarge, seriously)

As you can see I am most concerned with Ohio and Texas (as should you be) and the other 46 states*** I consider "other" because all though I am sure they are all great, in their own way, well...you know how I feel.

Texas Fact: Texas is home to more presidents named George Bush than any other State (Two).

Ohio "Fact": Ohio invented Democracy, electricity, chocolate, paid vacations, seafaring, animal husbandry, the civil rights act of 1957, and shamwow

If you are new to my blog and would like to know more about my thoughts on Ohio, just click the "ohio" tag on the bottom of this post.

*I am not making this up
**I'm not making this up either
***You heard me

Nevin Street Give Away

2010-06-24T10:12:00.002-04:00

Hello faithful followers. My friend Cristi has been requesting that I have a give-away on my blog, and my corporate sponsor has been trying to attract new business. So here's what I've decided to do:

When I was an undergrad I had a goofy friend by the name of Ben Blake. He was a good friend, and a silly man. He loved coffee, old books, and doodling. One of my good friends. But then one day something terrible happened. He fell in love. To make a long story short, Ben left our home at Taylor University to be with his girlfriend. (Normally I would get mad at something like this but like I said, I made a long story short, and I actually think it was a good decision.)

Ben realized that his new school was awful compared to Taylor. (Every school is awful compared to Taylor, so I don't find this surprising.) So Ben decided he was just going to drink coffee for the next year. And Nevin Street Coffee was born.*

Now Ben is married to said girlfriend and he and a buddy run an online business selling fresh coffee grounds. But not only that, the president of said inferior school told Ben, "you should open a coffee shop on campus" so let it be written, so let it be done. Ben is now in the process of opening a physical coffee "spot."

Anyway, the moral of this story is: click the picture of the Nevin Street logo on the right side of my blog, it will take you to his website. If you by a pound of coffee and write in the "special notes" section that you were referred from the Dangerzone, you will be in a drawing for a free Nevin Street mug. I already bought two...they are really cool. And since there about 4 people who read my blog, you have to realize that your odds of winning this drawing are pretty cool.

This "Contest" starts today and goes through August 1st.

Enjoy

*I realize that doesn't really make sense but I liked the way it sounded

It's the thought that counts

2010-06-21T22:24:00.005-04:00

If anyone thinks too much and doesn't understand his/her faith, I hope this is an encouragement to you.

Sometimes I struggle with or question things about the Christian faith that we seem to commonly accept here in this little place I like to call 21st century, white, middle-class, evangelical America*. I think by now you all know that I struggle with the idea of "calling."

Well here's another one that keeps me up at night. Prayer. Good night, I do not understand this thing. Using the best of my logic I have decided that God deciding to supernaturally intervene in the affairs of man because I asked him to doesn't really make sense. What happens when two different people pray for opposing outcomes? (Michigan Wolverines pray they will beat the Buckeyes, I pray that their bus catches on fire on the way to the game). God cannot grant mutually exclusive requests,** so who gets to have their prayer answered? And if the bus did catch fire, and police realized it was because a brave patriot doused it in gasoline the night before, did GOD make the bus catch fire, or did some man (who is my hero) really do the work? In that case, who gets the credit? One might say that God "used" that man, but if the man had decided differently, could he have then thwarted God's plan? Or does the man not have free-will? oops. Didn't mean to get into that conversation. But then again if you don't really have free-will then prayer is kind of a moot point anyway because God has already done what he is going to do.

what? Wait, does this stack up with what I read in the Bible? I can't even tell anymore.

I get skeptical when people tell me stories. A girl at Taylor had a spontaneous remission of Cancer. There were people who would be quick to tell you that God performed a miracle. Why? Because of prayer. A lot of people who pray still die, and a lot of people who don't pray live. So what gives? Instead of getting all excited and praising God....I get curious.

And sometimes I dislike that. Sometimes I think it means that I have a weak faith are that I am doubting God. But I am not really doubting. I am just questioning. And then I came across this little verse-nugget

Proverbs 25:2--It is the glory of god to conceal a matter; to search out a matter is the glory of kings.

We will never be like Christ, but the effort to be Christ-like is honoring to God. We emphasize the journey, because we know we are traveling towards a destination we know we cannot reach this side of Heaven...so the journey is king. In the same way, I will never understand God, but I hope that these endless circular patterns of thought are honoring to God. Because I am searching after him with my brain. My intellectual journey, is hopefully in it's own way, as much of a praise as the person who shouts hallelujah. Because we are both saying the same thing.

"Lord, I want more of you"

*Located in the Mid-West

**But God can do ANYTHING...yeah, but not stuff that just doesn't even make sense. I guess maybe He could, but that would mean suspending the boundaries of reality as we know them...which maybe He does...but if He does that we might as well give up trying to understand anything because at that point anything and everything is fair game. In which case, I am going to stop writing blogs and concentrate more on video games.

Goin' South

2010-06-15T20:29:00.003-04:00

Howdy Y'all

Today is my first of many blog-post from the great Nation of Texas.
Quiz: Six different nations claimed Texas at some point in history. This does not count indigenous peoples or native tribes. Can you name all six? (The answers will be given at the end of this post)

For those of you who I haven't told (or who haven't gone to ACSD) I got a job at LeTourneau University in Longview Texas. "Wow," you might say "How did you ever find yourself down there Steve?" Well, I legitimately do like the place. I honestly and truly do. I think it will be a good fit for me and I already KNOW that it is a good fit for Cortney, and she is really excited to move down here and hang out with all the hispanos. But why here out of all the schools in the CCCU? Mainly because they were the only school that returned my E-mail.*

And so I loaded my trusty Honda with a variety of goods and possessions and struck out due South with a song in my heart and a pocket full of dreams.

It took about seventy billion hours to drive to Longview, and I learned that by using an precise mathematical formula developed by MIT students, you can actually calculate your current geographic latitude in America based on the number of Country Music stations playing on your car radio.

Also, I stopped at a motel six that was straight out of a B-list horror movie. It was seedy and smelly and possibly on an Indian burial ground. I believe that no fewer than 4.7 murders took place while I slept there. Expect this story to be made into a movie and coming to a Redbox near you.

I've never really been a fan of the "South" but I think that Texas is a world onto itself. Actually it's big enough to be several worlds unto themselves. Everyone in East Texas (which is now where I live) wants you to know that they aren't from South Texas or West Texas, as these places are apparently less desirable. I don't know which part of Texas is the one that supports Cowboy hats but I hope it's the East.

I start my new job tomorrow! Further updates will follow I'm sure.

Check the comments on this post for the answer to the Trivia question

*I had two phone interviews, and got one job. So that's a 50% success rate. Pretty impressive I think. What happened to the other job you ask? Barry Walsh took it...

Maslow

2010-06-02T19:52:00.006-04:00

For those of you who didn't know, I was a psychology major in undergrad. Having a bachelors degree in psychology means that I am an expert in all things psychological and that if I ever offer you advice it is as if a licensed clinical counselor just gave you treatment. And most of the time I don't even charge.

As an authority in the psychological realm I would like to educate you on a little something called "Maslow's hierarchy of needs." This is a model proposed by Abe Maslow, that pretty much says that some needs are more important, and more urgent than other needs. He ranked these needs and put them in a little pyramid so it would be easier for the freshmen to memorize.

As you can see, the basic stuff is on the bottom, and the stuff we student development professionals focus on are at the top. The theory is that people need to have their needs met in order. So trying to bolster the self esteem of a person who is quite literally starving to death will be ineffective and is pretty much just going to make you look like a jerk.*

Well, since I am a specialist, I would like to make an important addition to this model, and I am completely qualified to do so, so look for it in the new textbooks coming out this fall**

I've been walking around in Washington D.C. the last few days and I have determined that "going to the bathroom" is the most basic (and important) need there is.

Why is that you ask? Because when you need to go, there is NOTHING in the world that matters. My house could be on fire and if I really needed to use the restroom I would probably stop to do my business before I ran out. And you would too. Conversely, if you have really had to go to the bathroom and you get the chance to, nothing can get you down for at least a minute. A man seeing an oasis in a desert is not as happy as a girl on a bus who sees a rest area.

So next time you are in a major city, where none of the businesses have customer rest-rooms and you have to walk 7 miles to get to the train to take you to a place where you can walk 2 miles back the way you came... think about Maslow, and how he apparently has never been in your shoes.

*Christian missionaries are getting better at this. People's hearts are more receptive to the gospel when they aren't worried about whether or not they will eat that week.

**It's the only thing they changed in the old textbook, except the pages are in a different order and they are glossier...also there are more pictures of ethnic minorities. The new text is $119 and required for class.

First Impressions

2010-05-29T11:52:00.002-04:00

Hello everyone. I am blogging to "y'all" all the way from the great nation of Texas.

Cortney and I are at LeTourneau University attempting to fool the administration into hiring me. Using words like "learning outcomes," "strategic," and "collaboration," I have assumed the persona of "professional Steve" and no one will ever be the wiser.

Cortney and I were also able to catch up on the last two episodes of LOST, but since a speaker at my hooding gave away a major plot point I found myself slightly underwhelmed. I guess I don't know how I would have ended a seven year series any better than they did, but I kinda assumed that the growing mysteries of the island would be addressed in some satisfactory manner. As much as I loved LOST, I've realized you just have to be satisfied with this explanation: "Whelp, that was one crazy island, guess we'll never know."

But anyway, we are at LeTourneau, we got a gift basket, the Dean of Students picked me up at the airport, and everyone remembers Josh Wymore. The majority of people are really nice and they are treating Cortney like a high maintenance celebrity (chauffeuring her around, getting her food whenever she wants, making phone calls for her and trying to get her a job at a local high-school)

Today we are going to look at apartments because everyone is acting like we are definitely going to be here next year. Of course, I am assuming this is exactly how they treated the last guy they interviewed too. Needless to say, this is the most important I have ever felt before. If I get hired I expect this type of treatment to continue every day for as long as I am here.

I could have good thing going for me here at LETU so please, don't anyone tell them that I am just a kid.

Shakespeare II

2010-05-27T12:02:00.002-04:00

Hey friends. Sorry it's been so long. Life has been hectic, and it's not slowing down for at least two weeks. I'm leaving for Texas, and then for Washington D.C. So you will probably have to be brave and live without my blog for a few days (if you can).

So I'll leave you with a parting thought. When I went to go see that play I was struck by a powerful line. King "Whats-his-face" feels guilty for the death of his wife. Some-one tells him to forgive himself and move on. He says this.

Whilst I remember
Her and her virtues, I cannot forget
My blemishes in them, and so still think of
The wrong I did myself

He finds the remembering his wife and her virtues is intertwined with him remembering his own transgressions.

So what if he forgets his sin? Will he forget his wife? Maybe this is why after 16 years he hasn't let go. I don't think that this means we should live in constant guilt, but I think that we SHOULD link our sins to God's forgiveness.

David says in Psalm 51:3
"For I know my transgressions, and my sin is always before me"

The difference between us and king "what's his face" is that even though both of us always have our sins before us, our sins are forgiven by the one we would remember. The haunting memory of his wife condemns him, but the memory of our god liberates us.

So keep your sins before you. Forget ye not the virtues of your Lord and remember your blemishes in them.

Oh by the way, in the end of the play the guys wife comes back, and he is totally redeemed, but the experiences he has had teach him a lesson and he lives the rest of his life as a changed man. Maybe there is a point in that too.

Have fun pondering Shakespeare and the Bible for a few days. And congratulations to Ben Blake, owner of Nevin Street Coffee. He got married last weekend!

Behind Bars

2010-05-21T11:41:00.003-04:00

Hello friends. Sorry it’s been so long. My life has been a “crazy town” in the words of Mallory Jones.

I’m a bit intimidated now because I have just learned that my professor and guru, the one and only Tim Herrmann is now a follower of my blog. My blog has always been family friendly, but now I think I am going to be more conscious of my spelling and grammar. From now on expect all blog posts to be in perfect APA*

But anyway, now on to what I was planning on writing.

I went to see Shakespeare behind bars two days ago. What is that you ask? It is a bunch of inmates in a prison who perform Shakespeare. What? Steve attending something to do with Shakespeare? Did the acorns really make you that sick? Well, I initially went against my will but after the entire experience I was glad I went. So though I am not a Shakespeare guy by any stretch of the imagination, don’t be shocked with I speak of this experience in a positive light.

I’m not sure what you are envisioning here but let me start off by telling you that this is not a traveling act of white collar criminals on probation. You have to go to a prison to see this show. These actors (all men) were really, really into it. They sounded like a professional troupe of actors who had really given their lives to Shakespeare. Because in some ways, they have. This program has given them something to live for and a chance to be remembered for something other than their crime. There was a twenty minute Q and A following the performance. You should have heard these men talk about how Shakespeare has transformed their lives.

Some of the actors played the role of women. When asked how they did it so convincingly they explained how this process had taught them empathy. Truly truly taught them empathy. It gave them a greater understanding of their crimes and the way they had treated women before entering prison. I think most about the character whose actions in the play caused his wife to die with grief. In the second act (16 years later) he was so repentant and angry with himself you could see he blamed himself and wished he could change who he had been. That actor murdered his wife in real life and he had been in prison for 16 years.

I think I’m going to need a few posts to really capture what I learned from these inmates. Things were happening on so many levels. If you want to know more about Shakespeare behind bars click here. (Actually, this is not a link to the performance I went to. In 2005 there was a documentary made about SBB and this link is to that documentary.)

But just so you all know, I’m not going to start acting like I like reading Shakespeare now, I’m just glad that something so boring has redemptive qualities.

*Not at all true. APA tells me not to write with footnotes. I tell APA that he needs to get a girlfriend and stop looking over my shoulder to see where I’m putting my commas.

Acorns

2010-05-07T11:18:00.002-04:00

Friends, I just ate an Acorn.

I was outside on Huntington's beautiful campus and the ground beneath my feat was littered with acorns, or as I like to call them, "nature's tootsie rolls." I thought to myself "If I was a squirrel, I would be so pumped right now. There is food everywhere!" And then I wondered why squirrels get all the easy breaks. I want copious amounts of free snacks whenever I walk past Beth Hale's apartment, and since I'm a white man in America I am used to getting what I want.

So I put one in my mouth and tried to keep walking all nonchalantly. Because if anyone saw me doing it I wouldn't want to look too chalant. I crack it open with my teeth and go after the "meat" inside. And you know what I learned?

I learned that there is a reason man does not eat acorns. Evolutionary psychology states that if something tastes like a sweaty guy peed in a shell and threw it in the mud, you should not eat that thing (Ohman, Mineka, 2001).

After spitting for a while a resolved that if this "nut" or "devil-spawn" was not poisonous I would master its ways and learn to enjoy it so I could impress my friends and make them jealous as I effortlessly snacked on nature while they stood by watching like hungry cavemen unable to harness the environment to feed themselves.

Turns out they ARE poisonous. The Tome of All Knowledge and Josh Wymore's most commonly visited website told me so. But painstaking and time consuming processes can remove the poison (tannin) from the Acorn to make it an edible food. The Native Americans (or First people) ate them regularly and it was a staple in their diet. It is exactly this kind of ingenuity that allowed them to find America first.

All that to say, I probably wouldn't have been hungry enough to start eating acorns today if I hadn't eaten a stupid SALAD for dinner. I thought eating a salad would be as good as real food, but like a guy taking his cousin to prom, I found out that sometimes you're just lying to yourself.

So next time you are out on a beautiful day like today and you happen across a cache of delicious looking acorns, remember this story and the lesson we've learned. Don't eat salads.

This story is 100% true.

Ohman, A.; Mineka, S. (2001). "Fears, phobias, and preparedness: Toward an evolved module of fear and fear learning" (PDF). Psychological Review 108 (3): 483–522. doi:10.1037/0033-295X.108.3.483. Retrieved 2008-06-16.

"Called" out

2010-05-05T14:13:00.003-04:00

So the other day I'm having a conversation about acsessability in higher education. (The same type of thing all of you readers were probably also talking about the other day.)

The issue, in a nutshell, is that everyone wants higher ed to make degrees more available to everyone. Let's make America a more educated place. Good call, but if you do that, it's going to devalue existing degrees. It's like saying "Hey, people are poor, let's print more money." It's not really a win-win situation. In the short run it's a win-lose, and in the long run...I'm not really sure.

But I was defending my point of view by saying that degree inflation is making it very difficult for even trained people to find a job. For example, I (Steve Conn) have a master's degree in higher ed. and am having difficulty finding entry level positions as a hall director at small Christian schools. That's basically like a D-1 college basketball player getting cut from a church league basketball team becuase for some reason the church league is FULL of D-1 college basketball players and you are no longer as special as you thought.

Then she drops the bomb on me. She says "is it really that you can't find a job or is that you are only looking for jobs in higher education?"

I thought to myself "Well what else WOULD I be looking for? Remember how that's what I've spent two years and $20,000 explicitly training for? But then I realized something. Even in white America there is still a great disparity between socio-ecenomic classes. Most people in this country (let alone the world) are looking for work so they can have money to pay for their needs. I on the other hand am so priviledged that I can delay working for two years AFTER college to go to more school, then look for a specific job in a specific field. Some of my peers even have the audacity to be even MORE selective and be choosey about WHICH small christian school hires them to be a hall director. I actually know some people down-right DISSAPOINTED becuase they have a job at a school that is "so-so but not great."

People are starving and some of us are upset becuase they forgot the cherry on our ice cream sunday.

I forgot that I'm not having a difficulty finding a job. I'm having difficulty finding a job that serves my desires, interests, and personal goals. I think allegedly I got an education to be a public servant, but it would appear that me (and most of the people I know) expect that my education is going to provide me with all the stuff I want.

Generally speaking, isn't a job supposed to be an exchange? I give you my time and you give me some money? But I believe that most of the people I spend most of my time with (including me) think that a job must be a "win-win" situation. You give me money, and you also give me a sense of personal fulfillment, and you give me professonal development, and you give me good supervison, and you give me a good balence of challenge and support, and you give me a good community. Then maybe I will consent to giving you my time, as long as it is spent on stuff I kinda enjoy.

No one would have said it that way...but it really describes a lot of people. And if you are getting your master's degree in higher education right now...it might be you.

I surrender all

2010-04-29T19:09:00.005-04:00

Sorry it's been so long since I've blogged. my life has been "a crazy town" as Mallory Jones would say.

So I was in church the other day and I sang these words:

All to Jesus I surrender;
All to Him I freely give;
I will ever love and trust Him,
In His presence daily live.

I surrender all,
I surrender all;
All to Thee, my blessed Savior,
I surrender all.

Then it struck me "good night, that is a frightening thought."
I had to stop singing.

Not that I think it's bad to surrender all to Jesus, but rather, it has frightening implications. George McDonald once said that asking Jesus to fix something in your heart was dangerous because as soon as He was in He would start fixing all kinds of things you didn't ask for. And soon he'd be tearing down walls and building additions and doing any number of things you're uncomfortable with. For those of you who loved the 90's imagine inviting Tim Taylor from Home Improvement to remodel your bathroom.

Anyway, it is easy to surrender stuff to God when it’s the stuff you expect to surrender. You are ready to make hard sacrifices as long as they are the sacrifices you expect. For example, as Christians we are probably on board with the fact that money should not be our ultimate priority and God might “call” us to a career that doesn’t make a lot of money. Ok, done. But what if God wanted you to surrender something surprising?

For example, I think of myself as a pretty intelligent guy, and I’m finishing up my masters degree. So you could say I am willing to surrender all and use my intelligence and my degree for the Lord any way He sees fit…As long as that means I actually get to feel like I’m using my intelligence and my education.

What if, (horror of horrors) God “calls” me somewhere where I don’t get to make use of my brain? Henri Nowen decided to leave his position as a regarded priest and scholar to work at a mental institution where patients neither understood nor appreciated his words, his experience, or his education. It was hard and humbling. But he CHOSE that. What if that just kind of “happens” to me? What if God wants me to surrender many of my skills and passions not by using them for Him, but by not using them at all?

“Oh no Steve, that could never happen,” I can hear you say. “God does not work that way.” Oh really? God’s ways are beyond my ways. Maybe to him me “wasting” my talents isn’t a waste at all. Maybe that’s His way of making me humble, and to Him that is a great use of my talents.

It freaked me out. Because I realized that God could actually ask me to surrender anything, and according to the song I was singing, I’m just going to go along with it.

And I will, (I hope) but sit back and think about it. Could you surrender your health? Your friendships? The best years of your life? I think that my whole life I’ve really been singing

“I surrender all, as long as I think it’s a good thing to surrender.”

Now I am not suggesting that God is going to make me "surrender" by committing crazy sins and doing things that are inconsistent with God's character but I think that as a 21st century American evangelical I am tempted to imagine that God's character is pretty convenient for me.

The privilege of calling

2010-04-20T09:40:00.003-04:00

The title of this post was suggested by the one and only Ben Taylor, who’s first album, entitled fist full of nothing should be released this coming summer.

But earlier I went on a rant about how we are doing ourselves a disservice by looking so hard for a vocational “calling” that it becomes a source of guilt and stress. Since I know both of my readers have already seen that post I don’t need to reference it any more.

But now I would like to offer an alternative. Did you know that the Apostle Paul made tents for a living while he was doing his ministry?* Paul probably went home every day feeling like a loser because when he went to work he made tents and that is SO unfulfilling and insignificant. I think we would all agree that Paul the tent-maker wasted his life. So sad. Too bad he couldn’t find a calling.

Paul had other things he wanted to do in life. Things that he valued. So he took a job that paid him money (gasp). But we don’t call him Paul the tent-maker; we call him the Apostle Paul, because we know that his job wasn’t his identity.

Now some of us can get excited and feel satisfied about our jobs. That’s honestly great. It really is. I hope I fit into that category some day soon.** But for others lets consider a few things.

Who are you while you’re at work? Can you be a witness or a loving, caring person?
Can you honor God with your money? If so, work can provide you with resources to honor God
Can you envision your work as an act of service?
Who are you after work?
Do you honor God where you are?

* Of course you did Ben. Why don’t you stop reading my blog and start working on your album?

**I actually really like the job I have now but I am getting kicked out of Huntington after graduation

Coaching

2010-04-12T13:26:00.002-04:00

Hey everyone. Sorry I've been gone for a while. It has been a crazy few weeks. Last Wednesday I set the record for being in the HUB at Huntington for 12 hours. Literally. It has a bathroom and it serves food. I didn't leave. But now that I have a spare moment I thought that I should share it with all of you.

So you know what "they" say about coaches yelling at players? It's ok when they yell at you. In fact it's a good thing. The time that you really have to worry is when they stop yelling. That means that they've given up on you.

I actually had that happen to me. My Senior year of football I was going to start on the 0-line but then this other guy walked onto the team and he was probably the best natural athlete in my highschool. Three weeks into the season it became abundantly clear that Steve Conn wasn't going to see much playing time that year, and since he was graduating, he really had no future with the team. So why not just let him slide.

I never got called on to play special teams, I never had to demonstrate drills, and I never got yelled at. The only time my name ever got mentioned was in a positive way. It was pretty awesome. Although, I never got to play, and everyone on the team realized that I wasn't really a part of the team in a real sense. I had been put out to pasture.

When I'm thinking about how I want to grow in humility, I remember incidents that humiliated me and I think of some of the "hard knocks" my ego has to take from time to time (for example, I belive I am going to be unemployed in the near future). But it makes me happy that God hasn't given up on me yet. These humiliating experiences that I so hate are really coaching moments. And thank goodness God hasn't put me out to pasture. The fact that god keeps humbling me is evidence that I'm still "on the team."

Tonight's Ramblings

2010-04-05T23:13:00.002-04:00

I'm sitting here watching the NCAA finals and realizing that I don't like basketball as much as the rest of the people in the room. But we all agree that that white dude should shave his crappy little mustache.

Some conclusions I've reached this weekend.

I like "courier" font because it looks like a typewriter
I like McCafe Mocha frappichinos and you should too
I wish APA sixth edition was a person so i could punch him in the mouth
I like shag carpet better than "burbor"
Pirates get a worse wrap than they deserve (I read a book)

I had a lot of deeper thoughts last week but I was working really hard on my thesis and I kind of forgot most of them. But I wrote a few down so don't you fret.

Remember, if you aren't actually watching the game do what I usually do and look up the score Tuesday morning so you can talk about it with such phrases that make you sound like you know what's going on like

"Oh yeah I know"
"Could you believe that"
"That was such a close one"
"That reminds me of an unrelated sporting anecdote that I DO know about and makes me look like a competent contributer to this conversation."

Ballast

2010-03-25T14:33:00.003-04:00

Giving credit where credit is due. This idea comes from a reading I had for Dr. Gaier's class.

Humility is an important thing. I think we've covered that in the past. Humility is also not one of the things that I'm best at. I think we've already covered that too. I think a good and accurate epitaph for me at this point in my life would be

"Humility and football were two things that were very important to Steve, he wasn't very good at either of them."

But that's not the point. What is the point is the secret to humility.

Ballast. You gotta have a lot of Ballast. Charles Spurgeon, whom you know as that really awesome preacher guy that Phil Byers reads about, was said to be such a great man because he was aware of just how broken and sinful he was. Spurgeon struggled with feelings of inadequacy because his sin was always before him. He was always aware of what was bringing him down. And it was exactly THAT, that enabled him to stay upright.

Ballast is a sailing term. It's used in boats. Ever wondered why boats never just tip over in the water? Well they are heavy obviously they sink into the water a little bit and don't just float on top. That's true. But what you might NOT have known is that the thing that is MAKING it heavy is ballast. Ballast refers to anything heavy that is loaded into the keel of the boat while it is being constructed. It is usually a heavy, dense, material like iron, cement, or sand. And this stuff just chills out at the bottom of the boat making it heavy. The larger of a boat you have the more water it will displace, meaning it will be more buoyant. Or put more simply. The bigger the boat, the more ballast you need.

That's what Spurgeon had. Instead of the high and lofty self image that so many of our leaders have today, Spurgeon had a keen sense of his ballast, his shortcoming, his sins. But probably without him knowing it, his ballast enabled him to become a really big ship. Too many leaders today build great big boats with tall masts and fancy sails. And that's great until the wind gets too strong or the water gets a little choppy. At the first sign of a storm the boat capsizes and it's ruined. Only by starting low, with a large ballast, is any large ship ever going to be able to float.

So, then, are you saying that we should sin more so that we can have a greater ballast? In the words of the Apostle Paul "by no means." In the words of Ben Taylor interpreting the words of the Apostle Paul "Hell no." We've all got enough sin to sink any ocean liner, so don't worry about that. It's not the sin that's the ballast, it's the awareness of the sin--the understanding of the sin. It's understanding ourselves in the context of sin that gives us ballast and help keeps us upright.

Adventures in no man's land

2010-03-22T15:45:00.005-04:00

Hello all. I've had some interesting thoughts and discussion about "calling" on my last post. I think that I should return to that topic in the very near future (and I think I shall) but before I do that let me just tell you something.

If you have never registered for a wedding before, you are in for an experience. cortney and I went to Target the other day and the people there said "here is a price gun. Go knock yourself out." That's how it should work.

Then we went to Bed Bath and Beyond. Friends, let me tell you something....whoa.
First of all, I told Cortney that she should be in charge of the Bed and Bath and I would take care of anything that was beyond. I was hoping that meant things like garage or office or Alpha Centauri . But instead, it actually meant "Bed, Bathroom, Kitchen, and crap you don't need."

When we arrived at the store Cortney and I approached the desk like FOOLS, thinking that it would be a simple process. Instead we were ushered to a lavishly decorated corner full of $fine$ china. There we were greeted and congratualted by some very friendly people that wanted to know everything about us, and who wanted to put everything about us in writing*

After the interview (which I was assured was for our benefit) Nicole (our shopping consultant) offered to take us around the store herself to point out things we need and things we REALLY need.

This was a great bonding moment for me and Cortney. Because we said "NO" and we began wandering around by ourselves in a land of opulence and consumerism we could only hope others could afford for us. As much as you would expect me to hate this we actually had a REALLY fun time, until Cortney hit a blood-sugar shortage and started telling me she needed a snack. This is my cue to start being REALLY nice to her.**

We then brought our selections back to Nicole who went through the list item by item to make sure we didn't miss anything (What would we have done without her?).

But let me cut to the chase for you all and tell you about my newest scheme. When you register of obscene amounts of merchandise they will GIVE you FREE merchandise. Don't think this is a great deal? Listen to this. If you register for $300 of silverware, you get one utensil of your choice for free! (that's one fork). If you register for $800 of fancy knives, you get...another knife!

Now here's the catch. You don't actually have to BUY anything. You just register for stuff. So. Cortney and I are going into full time business registering at BB&B across the nation under different Aliases. Oh yes that's right my friends, they don't check your ID. Forget wedding presents, we are going to furnish our entire home with the free benefits of registering!

Also, just for the record. Cortney has been AMAZING and so fun and easy to deal with through the wedding process. No stress. If I didn't already love her, I would now.

*Met in college, engaged for one year, know each other's friends, graduate student...short, possibly think he's funnier than he is. Bride seems to enjoy Disney channel and folding laundry...Groom looks annoyed, not sure why...
**It's a system we've worked out. Relationships are wonderful

Calling out "Calling"

2010-03-16T19:56:00.005-04:00

I would like to challenge an idea that I've been struggling with this year. I'm not sure if I've really found my "calling" in higher education. For those of you who don't speak "Christianese" as well as us Taylor Grads, Fredrich Beuchner and my Intro to Christian Ed. prof would both say that a Christian calling is where "your deepest passion meets the world's greatest need."

In other words. Don't just get a job. Go out and serve a need where you are passionate. That is the job you should get. That's you're calling. It's how you live a fulfilling Christian life. That's why it's almost a sin if someone at a Christian school or a church or any non-profit organization says "Egh, it's just a job." Simply terrible.

I think that "Calling" is one of the most miss-applied and overused term in our vernacular. Before I start ranting, I would like to say that I think God does "call" some people to do things. But I think that makes up a VERY small part of the population. I don't think that everyone is supposed to go out and "find their calling" in the vocational sense. So keep in mind here that the arguments I'm going to make specifically speak to people who believe that a "calling" refers to finding "the right" job.

I think the idea of the "calling" is a very American, and not actually from the Bible. "Whoa whoa whoa" you might say. "Don't you be saying the Bible doesn't say things that it says. What about the "calling of the twelve?"

Well, I did say that I do think God does "call" people to do things. But I think that's an exception, not a rule. First of all look at that passage (Luke 6) and you'll notice that he calls his disciples to him and selects 12. Jesus had more than 12 disciples. WAY more. But we normally only think of the 12 because we hear stories about that. Disciple is one of those words we think is ONLY a Christian word and we actually begin to forget what it really means* (And that's a thought for another day).

But the point is that out of ALL of his disciples Jesus "called" 12. So what happened to the other guys? Sorry, no calling for you. Don't quit your day job, which by the way, is not your calling.

"finding your calling" means finding that job you would do for free because it completes you and you kind of think of it as a ministry. That's a great idea, but I've compiled a very small list of the few people who fall between the cracks and aren't fortunate enough to have the opportunity to find a job that "fits" them like that. In short, this is a list of people who don't have callings.

Anyone who is forced to stay at a job they don't like for financial reasons
Anyone who is forced who failed to get the job they wanted (I got cut from the NBA)
Anyone who was drafted by the army
Anyone who got (or got his girlfriend) pregnant in high school
Anyone in prison
Anyone born in America before 1950 except for white men
Anyone who died before reaching adulthood
Anyone born into a caste system
Anyone who was ever a slave in the history of the entire world
Anyone in civilization who was born into an economic class that did not facilitate prioritizing "personal fulfillment" as a criteria for a job

Considering all the people born in the history of the world, the relatively short life of technology and the leisure time it affords, the fact that the "middle class" is a social construct that doesn't even go back 100 years, the state of many third world countries today, and a few other factors...I would say that the number of people who had NO opportunity to fulfill their calling would probably figure somewhere around 99% (unless a lot of people had callings like "Build pyramid by hand").

Steve are you being a little harsh? Are you taking this a little too far? Why yes as a matter of fact I am. But it's only to make a point. I think that God does "Call" people. And a lot of people who use the word "calling" really mean "I like this job a lot and I feel like I get a chance to serve God here." Well that's great. I'm not mad at you. But let's not make guys like me (and all the seniors I know who are graduating) panic because we are afraid we won't find our calling and we might have to settle for a "job." I feel guilty about this sometimes. I hate the idea that I might actually just get a job because it pays money and not because it's where my deepest passion meets the world's greatest need. But then again, if I did, I would probably be in fairly good company

* Just like stewardship and baptize. Go ahead and use these words to talk to a non Christian about how you thought it was a good use of your time to do the dishes before you went to bed. They will think you are speaking Christianese, but you will know that you just have a good vocabulary "I thought it was good stewardship to baptize the dishes in water before bed"

No more Shame about Shane

2010-03-12T12:42:00.002-05:00

So, breaking up-date.

Shane Claiborne called me the other day. It was right before an interview at NASPA. If I had been in the waiting room at a Christian school when Shane called me on my cell phone it would have been an instant hire. But alas, I'm not sure if the people from University of Wisconson O Claeir really know who Shane is.

But whatever. Shane was pretty cool and he didn't make me eat too much crow. He said he admired my humilty and my ability to apologize and that I tried to get a hold of him in person. Then he prayed for me and told me to stop losing sleep over it. So that was pretty cool. Thanks Shane!

The other thing of note is that Shane read my apology blog. This means that Shane has read my blog not once...but TWICE. And who knows he might read this one too. So I would say that borders on celebrity endorsement. You want to now what Shane Claiborne is reading? He's reading the Danger Zone.*

Anyway, thanks all you faithful blog readers for sticking with me through the Danger Zone's most trying times.

Get ready for our Big Nevin Street Coffee extravaganza!

*That's probably not true anymore, but you can't prove it.

Meat Market Recap

2010-03-07T21:33:00.002-05:00

For those of you who were dying to know, the final assessment of the Chicago Placement Exchange was that it was a total success. Minus the Valparaiso problem with a man whose real name I will not use due to the Shane incident.

But the deal is, I'm not aggressively seeking jobs in the wide world of higher education. Although I will accept ANY offer within the greater La Porte IN area.

I got some unexpected leads though. Michigan State and Baylor both pulled my resume out of the "Big ol' Resume Binder" and we had a good old time together. Michigan State wants to talk to me again because apparently they really like me. But It's probably only a matter of time until they find out that I'm an absolute poser and that they would be putting me in charge of a residence hall that is bigger than the entire college I went to as an undergraduate. (jokes?)

But anyway, I got a lot of practice interviewing. Now I feel like the Ging of the world!*

Since I wasn't really trying to interview at very many places (one) and I accidentally wound up having six interviews...I would call it a good day. Plus I got to hang out at the Downey Mansion where they force fed me buffalo wings. That's not a bad weekend at all.

Currently I must now go back to writing my thesis, which is all I will ever do now from today until the day I die.

*No that was not a typo. If you expected me to say "king of the world" you obviously don't know how cool Eric Gingerich is.

Meat Market Day 2

2010-03-05T23:24:00.005-05:00

As promised, I am here to report on the exciting things happening at the Chicago Placement Exchange.

I arrived at the placement exchange once more wearing my suit and pretending to be important. I checked my "mailbox" to see which lucky employer would get the next crack at me. It was completely empty. This will be a theme for the rest of the day. I circle my mail box once every few hours and wonder what the popular job candidates are doing. It's kinda like not getting any valentines in your box during grade school.*

Also a friend of mine helped me with my resume. It looks really sweet now. I have a super-sonic resume on steroids that is so fly you would probably want to hire me twice for the same job just in case I don't accept one of the offers. The down-side to this is that it has made me aware that my resume wasn't very good until now.**

But wait...what is this? Some school wants to talk to me? Baylor you say? But I never applied to you...you just sought me out? Well...I'll act like I'm not surprised.

Turns out Baylor University has a thing for Taylor University. And not just because they rhyme. Caleb Farmer is rocking Baylor off the heezy, so they decided to interview ALL FIVE of the Taylor people I came with and also to offer ALL of us second interviews. I guess maybe they liked us. Perhaps they will call me again soon.

In the mean-time I am wooing my future employer, "Mr. John Smith" from Valparaiso. Valpo doesn't realize that it is engaged in the timeless art of seduction, and that I am the seducer.

A month ago I sent them a resume. To which they did not respond. But "John Smith" knows his game. No one responds to the first resume. So I sent them another E-mail asking for an interview at the placement exchange. Still no response. They are just shy. So I do my magic and write one of those special little notes to Mr. Smith from Valpo. He coyly says that he does not have time to meet with me. But what he really means is that he can't stop thinking about me and how good I would look directing his residence halls. So I pull out the big guns and send him another note with my new and improved super resume.***

And now...no response. I can tell he is just playing hard to get. But I'm not really worried. Why would I want a job near La-Porte anyway? No one lives there besides my fiancee.

*Although that never happened to me because my boxes were always AWESOME
**Bethel college if you are reading this please note, I'm better than you think. Now I have documented proof in resume form.
***40% of the time, it works every time

Meat Market Day 1

2010-03-04T17:32:00.006-05:00

Hello faithful reader!

I'm coming to you live from Chicago Illinois in the super huge McCormick center. I am at the NASPA placement exchange.

What is a placement exchange you ask? It's like a wrestling tournament for adults. Except instead of wrestling we are interviewing, instead of physical harm we are risking emotional and professional harm, and people are all wearing suits instead of skin-tight revealing singlets.*

Here's how it works. Me and about 4,000 other yuppies go into this massive holding tank and write little notes to potential employers begging for an interview. We place these notes in one huge mail box and try to forget about them. Then a lackey (who probably makes more money than me) takes all these millions of notes and takes them to a much nicer holding tank where the employers excitedly throw away reams of them at a time while chuckling to themselves. Some of the notes accidentally solicit a response. The employer schedules an interview and writes back. Another lackey takes these notes and places them in a THIRD holding tank where we keep OUR mail-boxes. Yuppies like me circle the mailboxes on an hourly occasion like a freshman girl checking her ex-boyfriends face book page.

It's all very cloak and dagger. That's what appeals to me about it. I've also started leaving my resume in various places around the building--under trash cans, on top of vending machines, on the inside of stall doors, in the hollow of an oak tree in Millennial park. There is a chance that at least ONE of these locations will be a secret drop off for an interview.

But lets say that you accidentally get an interview? What happens next you ask? Your curiosity knows no bounds!

Well next you go to a fourth holding tank where you wait like a doctor's office until some one comes to call your name. Unlike the doctors office people aren't bored, they are just really nervous. It's actually more like those skits you would see in church in the mid 90's where two guys have recently died and they are waiting for St. Peter to call them and assign them to Heaven or Hell.*

Then it's time for the interview itself! This is actually the least intimidating part of the whole process, unless you are a single female interviewing Dave Downey.
After the interview it is customary for the employer to schedule a second interview if your name is Josh Canada. Non Josh Canada individuals generally begin circling their mailboxes again.

Stay tuned for further installments of this exciting event! More updates to come tomorrow!

* Except for Eric Gingerich. He's still wearing a singlet.
**Change now while you're still alive

Pressure Valves

2010-02-26T13:30:00.005-05:00

An interesting thought occurs to me. I was telling my dad about the time I insulted a celebrity on my blog and was called to task for it. He told me that it was good to have humbling experiences before I became too prideful. Not very sympathetic it's true, but that's what I have an fiancee for.

You know how they say you shouldn't keep your anger all bottled up and let it explode all at once? I wonder if the same is true for pride. I think I have a natural tendancy to accrue feelings of pride and arrogance. I would consider myself a sucsessfull person* and it stands to reason that unchecked, my pride would get out of hand.

I imagined myself like a canister of gas under pressure (why I thought of this specifically, I'm not sure, I think it's because I used big cannisters of Helium every year at home-coming to inflate balloons at Taylor). And the gas inside was pride.

Now the terrible thing would be if more and more gas got pent up intside the cannister until eventually it just blew up. This happens to people. Think about Tiger Woods or anyone else who was so "larger than life" that they could do anything. Until it caught up with them.

A much healthier thing would be events along the way the let out some of my "hot air." For example, insult a celebrity on your blog or invite a dirty comedian to campus. That's like a saftey valve kicking on and letting out a good amount of air and relievving some of the pressure before things turn dangerous. It's still kind of explosive (and painful) but way better than it would have been if everything has stayed all bottled up inside.

The BEST alternative would be to just poke a bunch of holes in the container so that everything that flows in flows back out naturally and safely. But until I can figure out how to do that I suppose I'll just be thankful to God for safety valve expreinces.

*not financially

Public Service Announcement

2010-02-22T17:43:00.003-05:00

It has come to my attention (thanks Mal) That International House o' Pancakes is giving away FREE short-stacks of pancakes tomorrow from 7:00 am to 10:00 PM.

If you have a soul and a stomach (and I would hope you have both) you need to hustle yourself over to the nearest HOP and eat free food with boysenberry syrup.

This counts as a dangerconn giveaway

Full on apology

2010-02-22T09:51:00.002-05:00

Last night I wrote a blog-post about meeting Shane Claiborne.

It was very rude. And I am just sick over it.

It was rude and defamatory and a sin against my brother in Christ. I am ashamed that I wrote slanderous things about anyone, but especially against someone who I have met, and who has done nothing wrong but try to live his life for Christ.

I was trying to be funny, and as usual I have stepped over the line and said hurtful things that I had no business saying.

Shane was very quiet during the car ride, but he was saving his energy because he had a lot of speaking engagements that week. Also, a neighbor of his was involved in a tragic accident and it was heavy on his mind.

Despite that, he was polite to me and at no point tried to shame anyone for anything. Shane is an unassuming guy who isn't trying to prove anything to anyone. He is just trying to live his life the best he knows how and is willing to share that with anyone who asks.

While he was doing that I began to cut him down behind his back to amuse people.

I am sorry for what I did, I will never do anything like it again, and I apologize to anyone who might have read this. (although, thankfully, my audience is still a small handful of family members and Jordan Beck.)

I also want everyone to know that I am trying to make amends with Shane personally. He left me the phone number to his office and I am trying to set up an appointment so I can talk to him over the phone. I am only writing this now because my transgression was public and affected all of my readers, so my confession and apology should also be available to the same people.

From Great to Good

2010-02-15T15:32:00.003-05:00

It makes sense that we should always be trying to get better. And I know that we are all sinners in need of God's redeeming grace. But I would like to take a moment to reconsider the obsession we have with growth and improvement.

I am constantly bombarded with the idea of how I need to change to be different and better. The Steve of tomorrow should be a better man than the Steve of today. the Huntington of tomorrow should be better than the Huntington of today. Completely true. Not arguing.

But as we go to the words of Jim Collins* "Good is the enemy of great." His point was that doing "a pretty good job" would ruin any business that wanted to be great because it would lull them into complacency. Good isn't good enough. Let us then disdain good, "fix" what isn't broken and change, change, change.

That's not bad if you have a clear vision of what you want to change into. It's kind of a problem though if you are changing for the sake of change or because you hate the fact that you are just "good." I'm all for growth and I do want to be more like Christ, but we should slow down and celebrate small victories, celebrate who people are, and understand that we want to be changing for the sake of honoring Christ. Not for the sake of being perfect. Lets need Christ and worship Christ, thankfully accept the gift of Christ, and not pretend that we are going to BE Christ tomorrow. Guilt is a sign of an impossible goal.

I thought flipping Jim Collin's words around would be original. But it turns out that a french thinker by the name of Voltair thought of it long before I did.

"perfection is the enemy of good."

* Author of Good to Great and apparently the 14th disciple** if you are a business or a mega church. Also, interesting note. If you have actually read good to great you might be interested to know that Circuit City is going out of business.
**A thirteenth disciple was selected to replace Judas

Worth

2010-02-07T20:27:00.003-05:00

I just saw The Who perform at half-time at the super bowl. They are really really old and perhaps just a little bit out of it. But they were most definitely the best part of the game. Sadly, I was watching them in a room full of students who weren't sure who they were.

Anyway. A thought on worth.

So good parents continue to tell their kids that they don't need to change who they are to impress their peers. They don't need to try to accomplish things or "be someone" so that we can feel good about ourselves. We shouldn't to other people to affirm our value and define our sense of self and worth.

This is a good thing.

But the bad thing is that we often take this logic. These same good parents then tell their kids that they are special just for being who they are and we try to make everyone believe that they have intrinsic value. The shocking news is...people don't have intrinsic value. We DO need to look to someone outside ourselves to validate ourselves as a person of value who is worthy of being loved.*

The problem is that we go to the wrong people. I don't think I need to point out that it is a bad idea to try to gain affirmation from "the world" or to try to "earn" affirmation from God, (though both of those thoughts are worth further consideration) But I do want to emphasis that our value really DOES come from outside ourselves.

If you took a look at my shoes and I asked you "what do you think these are worth?" You would name some price pretty close to "$0" (And you would be right).

But here are three things could really change your opinion on that question. What if my shoes cost me $15,000, were previously owned by Theodore Roosevelt, and were hand-made my Leonardo Da Vinci? First of all you would be very impressed by the prolific nature of my shoes. Second, you would wonder why I was actually wearing them. But the conclusion you would eventually draw was that these shoes were very valuable. And that is because

1) They were bought at a great price
2) they were owned by some one great
3) they were hand-made by a master craftsman

In all of these instances, value was bestowed on the object by some one external to the object itself. Just like the way God gave us value. By creating us Himself, calling us His own, and buying us at a great price.

Intrinsic value is overrated anyway.

*Note: Ladies, if any of you are freshmen in high school please read the rest of this entry before you run out and get pregnant.

Tri-Bond

2010-02-03T17:28:00.003-05:00

Ok I've got a question for you. What do Bob Ross, Jim Tressel, and God have in common?

If you said an affinity for "happy trees" you could be right. But that's not what I was thinking of.

I was actually thinking about how these guys all have a plan for their work that far outstrips my humble understanding.

Have any of you watched Bob Ross paint? It's like watching a lava lamp. Really nothing interesting happens and what does happen is slow and extremely predictable. You don't really have a reason to watch and you wouldn't say it's actually entertaining you but either you're easily distracted, or very bored and lonely.

But for those of you who have seen Bob whip up some happy bushes and trees you know one thing happens every time. He's painting away and you say "hey, this looks pretty good, I think I'm going to take up painting." And just when you think his painting is finished he throws some ugly dark blobs on it and you flip out at the T.V.
"Bob what are you doing? You MADMAN! You've ruined it! Oh Bob you FOOL when will you learn to leave good enough alone!?"

Yet by the end he is able tie it all together and the ugly blobs turn into a natural part of the picture and you say to yourself "Bob you son of a gun....you've done it again."

Now let's go to Jim Tressel. The greatest coach in the history of sports.* Jim does something that makes every Buckeye fan go insane at least once a game. He plays such conservative football that sometimes you wonder if he is even trying to win. I'm honestly surprised he hasn't punted on 3rd down yet just to play it on the safe side. I think it's quite possible that he's trying to set a world record for the most wins with the fewest points in history.

But. The man wins games. He almost always wins games.** He doesn't get over excited like the fans or succumb to knee jerk reactions every time something happens on the field he doesn't like. Jim is always in calm, cool, collect mode while I am trying not to swear in front of Cortney. And in the end Jim is right and the Buckeyes win another game.

I realized one day that Bob and Jim are to professionals that are great at what they do, and I don't trust them enough. I sit on the couch with zero coaching or painting talent, annoyed that these guys are ruining something cool. But every time I see them at their work I am proved wrong, and once again they show why they are the professionals and I am making negative dollars every year to eat at the DC and plan student activities.

Do I need to draw the comparison to God? The man has a bigger picture in mind than I do and he knows how to stick to his guns even when I think he should "fix it" right now. He is patient and wise. He knows where he is going and has the skill of a master artist who can visualize the end before he even begins. After 7 years I have learned to trust Jim Tressel, when will I learn to trust God?

Oh, for your enjoyment...Bob Ross

*He's the greatest coach since before sports too.
** He loses some on purpose, just to be safe.

The time has come!

2010-02-01T15:33:00.004-05:00

Yes friends, the time has come for me to return!

My blog is now up and running again.

For the few faithful (one) reader(s) out there who were dissapointed at my blog's hiatus...Rest assured that I am back in action with more enlightening and entertaining thoughts. Or, more accurately, things that entertain and enlighten me.

Also, notice that we got our first official sponsor! Nevin Street Coffee. Home of the famous Ben Blake. "Where is Nevin Street" you ask? Well I have no idea. But their coffee is out of this world!

You can begin looking forward to all new posts coming soon! Tell your friends.

Steve

My absence

2009-10-12T20:01:00.002-04:00

Hey all you blog follower.

I know you've all been terribly upset that I haven't been posting lately. I'm not going to lie, things are really going to slow down here for a while. I've got two classes that require me to keep a journal, and I also keep my own. After writing three journals a day, I'm not going to lie, I'm probably not going to write a blog as a forth journal. Will I ever post again? Yes. Yes I will. But I can't say when.

I know all of you are terribly dissapointed, I hope you manage to keep on living despite this crushing let-down.

I will return

Steve

Making a Game Plan

2009-09-24T22:19:00.002-04:00

This thought goes out to anyone out there who might not be perfect.

And I'm keeping it short.

Recently I read a book called "Humility, true Greatness," and the thing that I liked most about it was that the author basically said that we need to take pride seriously and try to get a handle on it. But unlike so many other books authored by our esteemed giants of Christian thinking* he actually gives practical suggestions of things to DO.

But this is different from a list of "do"s and "don't"s to keep as a set of rules. He's saying that if you want to affect yoru feelings and attitudes you need to develop a strategic plan.

If you want to be a Marathon runner you don't just watch "Chariots of fire" and get inspired and go out and try really hard. You get a plan with small, practical, steps and you work on those steps. This isn't legalistic. This is trying to achieve a goal.

Once I was in therapy and we tried to change my perception of a few things by changing the way I thought. But we discussed specific ideas and thought patterns to avoid, we didn't just say "do better at that."

Why have I been trying to just "be more humble" without coming up with a set of peramiters, routines, and small steps? Is it becuase that's not natural and therefore not relational? Is it because that's relying on my own strength instead of God's? Or is it becuase I needed to read a book where a guy told me I could actually do that?

*and I'm totally thinking Larry Crabb here

Freedom of Humilty

2009-09-15T20:44:00.003-04:00

Friends, I'm on the verge of something here. I think we should all put this in our pipes and smoke it for a while. I'm not saying that I've figured out something great, but I think there is something great yet to be discovered in the freedom of Humility. So feel free to take this idea and run farther with it than I have.

But I just read a GREAT book for class. It was called "Humilty, True Greatness" and I've decided that I am going to wage war with pride in my life. I mean I've been trying to be more humble for a long time becuase that's a Biblical commandment, but I've never really stopped and said "I'm going to develop a plan and tackle this issue head on." It's just like unbuilding walls, we need to take it one step at a time and by changing the condition of our hearts, and unlearning habits and thoughts that we've picked up through a fallen world can help us rearrange our feelings and our instincts.

I haven't fully formulated my game plan on that one yet, I'll keep you posted. But I have been thinking about how great it would be to truly have humility. You see my problem is that for some reason I'm convinced that I have to perform before an imaginary audience so I feel like I'm "good enough."

I need to make sure that I have a good enough job, that I am a good enough student, that I'm a good enough friend, or boyfriend, or whatever. I'm trying so hard to make sure I live life the "right way" or that I'm doing good enough for God to be proud of me.

But remember a few posts ago when I talked about surrender? We're not fast enough to win the 200 meter dash? Well I've realized that in this life we are totally down on the track with the rest of the runners, but we're not going to run.

I imagine muyself eating a hot-dog and snapping pictures while all the other runners are stretching out and getting ready for the race. I understand that I'm not really a runner and I'm never going to win. But I'm here on God's invitation. He never expected me to run and neither did anyone else. People know I'm too slow for that. But if I'm truly humble and understand who I am I can enjoy my hot-dog and look forward to watching the race.

Getting away from the racing image: I envision a scenario like this some time.

Imagine a child overhears his parents talking about how money is a little tight. What is the child supposed to do? Wouldn't it break your heart if you came into your childs room and he was crying? You'd ask

"what's the matter?"

And your chld replies in tears "I've been saving my lunch money and trying to do chores around the neighborhood so I could make money so we wont have to be homeless...but I only made 4 dollars."

And of course you would sweep that child into your arms and tell him that you were going to take care of him and that he didn't have to make the money for the family and that everything was fine and he could live his life and be a normal kid and he should eat lunch every day and rest assured that his mother and father were going to take care of the money for him and make sure he was allright.

And the child would be so relieved. That relief is the freedom of humilty.

What if that child wasn't saving up money for a week, but for a year? For two years? For an entire life time? When I feel the need to perform for God or for Cortney or for "people" in general so I can be "good enough" to feel good about myself I'm just a little boy crying in his bed becuase he couldnt' make enough money to pay the rent. I think it breaks my Father's heart.

Nothing to fear but...

2009-09-03T10:11:00.003-04:00

Ok so here is something weird. I don't know if anyone else is going to say they feel the same way as I do, but we'll see.

Yesterday I was reading some kind of book about blagh blagh blagh education grad school blagh blagh you get where I"m going with this.

Well anyway. It goes on to talk about all the "desert fathers," and monks and people who have lived their entire lives ensconced in spiritual disciplines, scripture, and the pursuit of knowing God better. And we all say that we are dedicated to these things but I mean for real...these people didn't have jobs. They just did this stuff all day every day.

And I was thinking to myself that that didn't sound so bad, but then I realized I was a little afraid to really get deep with God myself. You see the thing of it is I'm a little afraid to lose what I have these days. I have a beautiful fiancee, a degree in a field I kinda like, a shelf full of books I haven't read yet, and a Nintendo wii. Good night why would I want to change the status quo?

I realized that whenever you really love something you give that thing power over you. My fanatic-like love for the Buckeyes enslaves me to the T.V. every Saturday in the fall and my love for Cortney keeps me tied to my cell-phone. And I think these are good deals. I'm willing to do these things.

But MAN. Really loving God, I mean REALLY loving God. He could make you do ANYTHING. Like, I don't know anyone as crazy and unpredictable as God, he is a wild-card. And it's my goal in life to be completely besotted and helplessly head over heels with a wild-card.

I think that's part pf what it means when the Bible talks about "fear of the Lord." Aslan was never a tame lion. And so I'm signing up. It sounds like a good deal. And I really DO want to fall deeper and deeper in love with God. But I'm kinda afraid to see what he's going to make me do in the future. They say Jesus came to comfort the disturbed and disturb the comfortable, and for once I'm comfortable.

Glorious Defeat

2009-08-28T11:16:00.003-04:00

As is often the case when exploring the nature of our Lord, we may have to live in a little tension between two truths that seem mutually exclusive. Most people like to say that we need to learn how to hold these truths in balance. I like to say "you're not going to figure it out ever because you are a dirty sinner and sinners don't get to understand all the ways of God." It helps me sleep better at night because I spend less time thinking about questions without answers.

But anyway, I give that disclaimer so that you understand I know that what I am about to tell you is not the end all be all of how you are to live your life, but rather something you must consider while trying your hardest to live a God honoring lifestyle. End disclaimer.

I think that sometimes defeat is a good thing. I know that's not a winner's attitude, but some situations aren't set up for you to win. They* say guilt is a sign of an impossible goal. I'm not one of them, but I would say despair probably fits in with that too.

Because if you were utterly convinced that it was vitally important for you to win a gold medal in the 200m dash, that idea would probably consume your life. All the training and dieting, all the effort, all the living breathing, and thinking about sprinting would really wear on a person. Especially if your name isn't Usain Bolt. See the thing is, everyone who ISN'T named Usain Bolt is incapable of winning the gold. And therefore, if winning that medal is something of vital importance to you, you are set up for a life of guilt, despair, and feelings of inadequacy.

So maybe it wouldn't be so bad of a thing if one day you got in a car accident and the doctor told you you would never run again. True, your dream was unrealized, but lets be honest, it was going to be unrealized anyway. Now you are free to live your life because you are no longer consumed or haunted by the feeling that you need to achieve the unachievable.

You see where I'm going with this? I am a sinner. I can't be perfect. Never will be. And try and try as I can to be the perfect friend, student, boyfriend, student activity coordinator, what have you, it's not going to happen. See we all know that Jesus takes care of our sins, but for some reason there is still a temptation to "Be the best that we can be."

Ok I'm all for that but I think we must also realize that we have already lost the battle. We have already lost the war. We will never win the gold. In fact, we will never even qualify or the Olympic trials...because we are slow. The thing is, we've been going about it all wrong. Because Usain runs for us and he is willing to give us the gold medal that we couldn't win for ourselves. You might say that you don't like that and you'd rather train for it and earn it. Well that's called pride. And the real truth about the matter is that it doesn't matter what you think, you are never going to win.

But God is willing to run the race and fight the battle for us. So I think that while many of us are feeling guilty and distraught it is time to put up the white flag of surrender and accept the glorious defeat that comes from letting God do what only He can do, while you enjoy the comfort of watching from the sidelines.

Does this mean that we should all sin the more so that God can show his glory even more and win bigger battles for us? In the words of the apostle Paul "Hell no."** It's a tension. Learn to live with it.

*Clinical psychologists
** Yeah, I went there, but if you translate the Greek, so did Paul.

Vegetables

2009-08-21T18:31:00.004-04:00

No human man could get away with inventing something as stupid as the vegetable. God must apparently have a plan for them, but I don't know what it is, because it certainly doesn't involve eating.

Today I ate an entire bag of frozen stir fry vegetables. Why? Because I'm trying to be healthy and because I got it for free out of my mom's freezer when we moved out. 5 servings of vegetables--125 calories.

125!? You would need over fifteen bags of vegetables to meet the recommended caloric intake every day! This is why so many people DIED foraging for food in the wild before they learned how to sharped a spear. If you are starving in the wild you could stumble upon an entire vegetable GARDEN and you would STILL be screwed because there isn't enough food in a bag of carrots to keep you alive long enough to finish eating them. On an episode of LOST this woman starts planting avegetable garden. If I were on that island I would tell her "Stop wasting your time screwing around here in the dirt...unless you are looking for worms to eat. If you are looking for worms then keep doing it becuase that's helpful. If you're planting vegetables you should probably start looking for worms instead, or learn how to grow a freaking twinki."

That...AND they taste like DEATH. I force fed myself 5 servings of some watery plant crap and was about to congratulate myself on a dirty job well done when I realized I had actually eaten the equivalent of 1/16 lb of hamburger. That's like going to work all day for a dime. Also the dime burns in your pocket and gives you a rash.

If you eat food all day people will call you a glutton. If you eat vegetables all day they will call you anorexic. So next time you are eating water and cell walls disguised as a food group, do yourself a favor and put the fork down because you are just wasting your time.

Nope

2009-08-18T15:47:00.002-04:00

I am FINALLY settled in at Huntington after 4 weddings, two moves, and way too much time in the car. So maybe just maybe, if there is anyone left reading my blog, perhaps they will be treated to some more regular posting.

Today I'm here to inform you about the power of the word "nope."

"Nope" is as word generally reserved for the rude and the impatient. But I would like to present it to you now as an acceptable alternative to the word "no."

Becuase "Nope" does not just mean "no I think I'd rather not do that thing you are suggesting." "Nope" means "There is no way I am ever going to do that thing you are suggesting, I've thought about it, and I've decided that is just not going to happen, and you might as well not ever bring it up again or try to convince me becuase I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that I will not be doing that thing."

The best thing about the word "nope" is the stupified silence that generally follows it. Most people do not argue with "nope" they simply are at a loss for words. Realizing that it is useless to argue, but feeling all the same that arguing is the normal course of action, it is quite likely that people will stare at you dumbfounded, amazed at the no-nonsense manor in which you dismissed their suggestion. Example.

Andrew: Hey Steve you wanna go on Spring Break with us? We're hiking the Appalachian trail.
Steve: No.
Andrew: Come on it will be fun. I've got some shoes you can borrow.
Steve: No I don't really like hiking.
Andrew: No come on, it will be sweet. We'll go slow and stuff. Me and Snader and Jordan will be there and it will be good jokes.

OR it could go like this.

Andrew: Hey Steve you wanna go on Spring Break with us? We're hiking the appalachian trail.
Steve: Nope
Andrew.... Wanna go to taco bell?

I have now entrusted all of you with the power of "nope". Please use it wisely.

disillusion

2009-07-29T15:27:00.003-04:00

"Young Adulthood is a time of disillusionment."

No one to my knowledge has ever said this quote but if you want to maybe someday someone would quote you and put a "~" next to it with your name. And after you die maybe even your name and a date after it.

Because I think it's pretty true. There are a lot of things that happen for the first time at this little stage of life I like to call "kinda like being an adult but with less money." Like getting a job, moving out on your own, being able to do whatever you want whenever you want, etc... And as it turns out a lot of it is less glamorous than we had previously been lead to believe. But the point of this post is not to focus on my life (which is actually doing pretty good right now, thanks for asking) but to focus on the idea of disillusionment itself.

We normally associate being disillusioned with negative experiences and sad times. In effect, we have negative connotations with this word. But really, why is that? Because to become disillusioned is to leave behind the illusion and to understand reality.* To become disillusioned is to learn the truth, and in general, I consider that a good thing.

What it generally comes down to is that things in this world are not as good as we think they are and that they will not make us as happy as we think they will. This isn't depressing, its just how it is.

Because we are fallen people. And we are desperately trying to fill the hole in our heart created by the separation we experience apart from God. And we have these illusions that money, success, healthy relationships, security, entertainment, or whatever, can fill this hole and make us complete.

But the truth is these things don't cut it. And one by one as our illusions fade we are able to more fully understand the truth of the matter- that only God will fill us up. So every time you are disappointed or disillusioned, praise God and turn over your expectations to Him.

*I Believe it was Denis Dee Young of Styx who once said "Take me tonight, to the river, and wash my illusions away...SHOW ME THE WAYYYYYYYYYY."

A harsh reality

2009-07-24T14:12:00.002-04:00

A few days ago I did something that I haven't done in years, and I think all of you should try it too. I went to the playground.

I was really excited to live out my childhood again and cavort around the jungle gym like days of old. But when I began "scampering" across the playground I encountered something that shocked me right out of my childhood innosence and back into the dissapointing reality of young adulthood.

The Monkey Bars

Friends...I can no longer cross the monkey bars.

Now although I don't think I'm the most fit person that ever lived, (After all Ryan Anderson and Eric Gingerich read this blog) I wouldn't describe myself as a fatty fat fatso with girly arms either. The Monkey bars, however, decided that I was.

Right now you are probably thinking "Oh wow, that's too bad for Steve, but I'm glad I can still do the monkey bars." Well for most of you I've got some advice. If you want to keep believing that, and you weigh more than 55 pounds, stay away from the playground.

The Brothers

2009-07-16T14:21:00.002-04:00

Like my good friend Ben I have finally joined the exclusive club of people who have actually read "The Brothers Karamazov" from start to finish.

And would you like to know what I've taken away from what some people call the greatest novel ever written?

1) It sucks to live in Russia
2) Rich people are mean to poor people
3) Authors should never be paid by the word or they turn out stuff like this.

Now, I understand that the entire literary world has not been duped, and it is I, not the world, who doesn't understand the merits of this book. I would like to compliment the author for producing something way way way the frick over my head.

But to us common folk (who don't like reading 50 pages of fictional memoirs of a fictional priest, who was only a side character character mentioned only because he at one time encountered the main character, who doesn't really SEEM to be the main character but really is only the little brother of the character that is involved in the murder trial which is the ONLY significant event in the 800 page book) this great work of literature might seem a bit wordy.

I've decided that from now on I am going to stop reading "classics" just because they make me feel smart. If I really want to feel smart I'll play Jeopardy with a ninth grader.

For the rest of you I have decided to sum up this 342,000 word novel into a blog-post so you can all feel smart for reading it too. Perhaps some day in the future we will all be able to have books "tweeted" at us, but until then you have the dangerzone.

The Brothers Karamazov, all the good parts.

There were once three brothers who had a dad who was a really big jerk. One of them was studying with the priests. Poor people and rich people are different and rich people from the army can do whatever they want. Some dude wants to sell a forest, another guy gets pulled around by his beard, vodka is plentiful, and people can fall in and out of love multiple times in one week. The oldest son and the dad like the same girl, but she doesn't really like either of them. It's possible to spend 1,500 roubles partying in one night in Russia. A guy gets murdered and his son gets blamed for it. Because forensic science does not exist in the past the crime is unsolvable despite the presence of the murder weapon, fingerprints, etc... Then some guys talk a lot about the nature of blagh blagh blagh and then some guy is delusional and then a girl ruins everything by becoming hysterical and a dude goes to prison. Also, a boy loses his dog.

I hope this helps to enlighten you.

On the Road

2009-07-08T22:32:00.002-04:00

Hey friends

So I'm sorry it's been so long. I know you've all been annoyed with my hiatus. I think that I lose a reader every time I go a week without blogging. that means that at this point I think I'm at negative five.

1) My mom got married
2) I'm in chicago
3) I'm going to New Jersey this weekend

It's been a little hectic. Sorry. I'll blog again...some day.

Cort and I are getting married July 17th 2010 in Chicago. You are all invited. I feel like it's safe to say that becuase the 8 people who read this blog were probably going to be invited anyway. And AJ in Nashville. If you really want to come you can, but I'll understand if you're busy.

Patience is a Virtue

2009-06-30T22:58:00.002-04:00

I think most people would agree that patience is good. And I think that a lot of people would agree you should work towards building up character. But I very rarely meet anyone who intentionally tries to become more patient. Why?

Because BECOMING patient is boring. BEING patient however, is amazing. Frustration, anger, boredom, irritability, hasty words, and bad decision making can (emphasis on can) be symptoms of impatience.

Building patience, however, is anti American because it isn't requires you not getting to do what you want, and it isn't productive. Also, it's counter intuitive.

So the other day I decided to build my patience. I drove 5 miles under the speed limit for four hours straight this Sunday. This might horrify you, but if you do the math it comes out to costing me 20 minutes of my life.

Twenty minutes that might have been spent surfing the Internet, napping, watching TV, having pointless phone conversations, eating a snack, playing a video game, or writing on a blog. It's also twenty minutes that could have been put to good use, but lets be honest, I don't put much of my time to good use unless forced to.

Our culture is one of instant gratification. Imagine this. You can understand how sometimes rich people are more greedy with their money. Having a lot of something and reaping its rewards might make you cling to it harder. We are the fastest civilization that has ever existed. Cell phones, the Internet...the Internet ON cell phones...fast food, time saving/multitasking devices...all of these things make us think that NOW is good and later is bad, and we DESERVE now.

I'm not here to tell you that the sky is falling or that cell phones are contributing to the gradual disintegration of society as we know it. That's the sort of argument that should be made by somebody with FACTS! I offer only conjecture.

So do a little conjecturing of your own. Drive 60 on the interstate for thirty minutes. You'll feel like a slow idiot, but it will only take 2.5 minutes out of your life.** Then think real hard about all the things you would probably have spent 2.5 minutes on. I bet you spend the 32.5 minutes thinking a litte bit about the nature of patience and why we selfishly covet even the smallest increments of our time.

I think it would be a 2.5 minutes well spent. And if the drivers behind you get angry at you for the seconds it costs them, perhaps you'll wish that others were more patient too.

Ambulance drivers should not be patient. They can disregard this post, just like I know everyone else will.

*The Irony

**Probably a little bit more, assuming you were going to drive over the speed limit.

A basic question

2009-06-26T20:09:00.003-04:00

So, I've been taught two things about God. They don't seem to add up. As we all know, sometimes things that seem mutually exclusive can be true about God becaue he's just that smart. But I'm going to take a look at this anyway because it's something I've been thinking about lately.

1) Is the chief purpose of our lives to go out into the world, making disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit? Are we here to build God's kingdom? Are we on a mission? Are we harvesters in the field?

OR

2) Is the cheif end of man to know and enjoy God?* The Bible is a story of God pursuing us, and our only aim is to know Him better. As we are drawn into a more intimate relationship with him we are transformed, and all else preceeds as a natural outflow of that relationship.

Now, it's pretty popular to write a book that says our purpose is soley to know God. Thank you John Piper and Larry Crabb.** It's also very popular to appeal to our sense of being on "A mission from God" when we are speaking from the pulpit and trying to convince Christians "on the fence" that it's time to do "x, y, or z."

I tried the first one out for most of my life, and recently decided I thought there was more truth in the second approach. This decision was reached when I realized that enjoying God as the purpose of life was much more sustainable and do-able, or as Dr. Mark Cosgrove would say less "exestentially repugnant."

But I try to be cautious any time I come across a new approach to God that makes me feel better and that life is easier than I thought. Why? Not becuase I think God hates me, but becuase I understand that the Christian life isn't inherrently a call to feel good and take it easy.

So I've been trying to decide. If I had a face to face conversation with God*** would I feel unbelievably relieved that He had the situation at hand (like a 5 year old who found out he doesn't have to make enough money at his lemonade stand to support the family when he thinks his dady might get laid off), or will I be a bit ashamed when I begin to realize the mantle of responsability that has been laid on me and how I've not been paying enough attention to it?

BOTH you say? Well you have a high tolerence for ambiguity. And when dealing with God that's a really good thing. I agree with you, it's both. But dang, we make a lot of decisions, preach a lot of sermons and feel a lot of anxiety/relief based on which frame of reference we are opperating out of at the time. I suggest we try to be aware of that.

*Heidelberg Catechism
**I liked these books, I'm just saying
***And was not blasted to freaking smithereens by his refulgent glory

An Engaging Story

2009-06-25T15:48:00.004-04:00

Hello Blogaholics

You may have noticed that I've been away for a while. Well believe it or not I've been a bit busy. "With what?" you might ask. Well I'd be delighted to tell you. It SEEMS that despite all odds I have finally convinced a beautiful woman to marry me.

Yes it's true. I didn't want anyone to find out over the Internet but since writing on my blog is like shouting in outer space I figured that I couldn't do much damage.

But anyway yes. On June 19th I asked Cortney Michelle Korshak if she would be my wife and after she finished crying she said "yes." She even agreed to it before she stopped and looked at the ring. That's how you know she means it.

I would like to say "Thank You" to everyone who knew ahead of time** and helped to keep it a secret. And I would also like to say thank you to our friends who drove to Fort Wayne to celebrate with us.

Cortney and I have both been blessed with amazing friends and the love that her and I share is only possible because of the love that has been lavished on us by God, our families, and our friends. When congratulated by my life-long room-mate and friend, Jordan Beck, I said "I couldn't have done it without you." And as cheesy as that sounds (and is) I do believe that it's true. Cortney and I were helped along the way by many, and we hope that never changes.

I've spent the last few days feeling mighty pleased with myself, since I've now got a fiancee who is: committed to God, committed to the idea of marriage, a good friend, a fun companion, my biggest fan, a leader by example, a teacher, loving and kind, and a smoking hottie.

I would have had pictures, but the afore mentioned fiancee often forgets to upload pictures to computers before going back to Chicago. Maybe after she reads this blog post she will e-mail me a few.

And now I'm done bragging. Although I am still very smug and pleased with myself, I will tomorrow return you to your regularly scheduled blog.

*For all the world to hear, if anyone is there.
** Almost everyone I knew

Stuff girls Like VI: Hating their hair

2009-06-09T11:50:00.003-04:00

Now I've never been a woman. Not even once. But I've been related to several of them and I've gone to school with many many more. I've even dated some. And I've learned something. Girls (not necessarily women) are in a near constant state of wanting their hair to be in some way different from what it is.

The most notable example for this observation comes in the form of length. Girls will spend literally an entire year growing their hair longer, complaining all the time that they have split ends but not daring to get it cut because that would just prolong the process of obtaining the ultimate goal: long hair.

This long hair is often times considered beautiful by men and women alike but is reportedly inconvenient to girls. So after spending a year growing it out girls will decide "It's time for a change."

Fortunately for girls they have figured out a way to avoid the midlife crisis by channeling all that need for excitement and change into attacking their hair. The imagine that cutting off the foot of hair they have spent a year cultivating will bring about a shocking transformation in their life that no one will fail to notice and appreciate.

Despite the fact that every girl does this like clockwork it is the responsibility of every other individual to act completely surprised. "Oh dear goodness what have you done with all your hair? It's so short...its so....CUTE!"

An instant boost of confidence follows the cutting of the hair because it says "I'm bold, I'm out there, I'm unpredictable, and above all, I'm cute." But this temporary high lasts only as long as it takes for said girl to see a picture of herself when she had long hair.

"Oh I miss my hair, why did I cut it all off?"

And so the cycle continues; or as we would say in the hair world. Lather rinse repeat.

For girls the search for the perfect hair is continuous quest that is never satisfied. However it is the job of men to pretend that the quest for perfect hair is in the constant state of total fulfillment.

"Your hair is so long/short, it's completely perfect!"

Twitter

2009-06-04T23:13:00.004-04:00

Recently some of my aquaintences have encouraged me to get Twitter because it's "cool." For those of you who do not know what Twitter is please let me fill you in on something you can NOT miss out on for even one more second.

Twitter is to blog as text message is to E-mail.

That's right. Instead of writing anything of substantive thought one simply "tweets" sentence fragments to a website throughout the day so that people can check in on the minute details of your life without actually having to talk to you. FINALLY! Science a created something that has captured the best part of human relationships! I can now hear about the most boring and irrelevent details of a person's day without the cost of personal interaction!*

Or, if you are obsessed with some one like Ryan Seacrest you can find out what he's doing multiple times every day!**

But. I DESPERATELY need people to think that I'm cool so I decided to tweet my day away. Unfortunately, I couldn't afford a twitter*** so I had to "tweet" all my thoughts here at the dangerzone. I've been writing them down all day and now I'll share them with all of you. Please enjoy all the really important stuff I had to say all day.

10:23 AM: whoa, slept in 2day. good thing i don't have a job

11:02 I luv dino bites cereal. u think i can make $$$ marketing "lunch cereal," or "diner cereal." different flavors uv course, and professional boxes, so u could take it to work.

11:12 Shoot, I just missed 11:11

11:50 playing Halo n00bs!

2:14 Wonder's what it all means...?

4:29 OMG reading so much today. I think i need more friends

6:15 ate so many M&M's today. But I also 8 pb and j for dinner. So good. How about pb and J dinner cereal?

8:14 Luv U Cort!

9:51 "I'm just a notch in your bedpost, but you're just a line in a song" ~ Fall Out Boy

11:13 DANG IT! Missed 11:11 again. Oh well. does anyone out there wanna hang out? Call me if you do.

11:14 Better yet don't call, just post on my facebook wall. It apears I've developed a social anxiety disorder.

11:36 wrote a blog post and was terribly pleased with myself.

*Now I'm just waiting for something pees on your floor and smells bad but wont play with you or guard the house. Then I'll never have to get a dog.

**This is not a joke. The link is real, click on it. Ryan Seacrest had a salmon salad tonight.

***It's free...I know that. It's a joke

Another Brick in the Wall

2009-06-02T14:46:00.004-04:00

I just read a book with an ending almost as shocking as Ender's Game. Which brings me to my next point. Why haven't you read Ender's Game yet?

I've learned something by being at a private Christian college for five years. Education is expensive. But I have also learned that people expect you to find your vocation and calling. What is calling you might ask? I had a Christian Ed. Proff once tell me that calling was "Where your deepest desire meets the world's greatest need."*

I sincerely hope that the world's greatest need involves me playing final fantasy and eating Reeces Pieces

Like I'm assuming at least one other Christian feels, I find myself overwhelmed by guilt and a feeling of inferiority because I don't think I've found a fulfilling and significant vocation that is "good enough" to justify all the faith and encouragement that has been invested in me by loved ones throughout my life.

But then it occurs to me, "when did we become obsessed with finding a calling?" Is that mandated by God? I think not.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not suggesting we take jobs we hate and put as little of ourselves into our work as possible. But we (I) need to stop acting like we (I) will only be living half a life if we (I) don't find that right vocation out there that is both at once the worlds greatest need and our (my) deepest passion.

Only in Western Industrialized societies would we care about crap like this. In the distant past women kept the home and men did whatever the heck their dads did. Were these people a disappointment to God because farming or shoe making was a way of life that contributed to society and supported their families rather than met their inner longings for ministry?

Even today in some cultures almost everybody is a farmer. If we told them some peoples were dance instructors for a living they'd be so confused.

If I told the people in my cohort that I was in higher ed because I liked it and I was good at it but it wasn't some burning passion or deep calling I think they would probably tell me to try a different field after I graduated.

I really want to be open to God's voice, but He has never spoken to me as clearly as He apparently speaks to some people. So until he does I suppose I'll just have to exchange hours of my talent and service in a useful way for monetary compensation in a manner that I enjoy. Hope that's enough for all you purists out there.

*I believe this guy was quoting fredrich Beuchner

forgiveness

2009-05-30T13:30:00.003-04:00

Please note that I don't think I'm saying anything new here. But rather I'd just like to share with you how strongly I recently felt the truth of something I already knew.

I finished reading "It Came From Within" By Andy Stanley, and although it could probably have been effectively summarized in 20 pages it was still a good book. One of the things it talked about doing was intentionally forgiving others through a specific exercise.

Anger basically says "you owe me." We don't normally think of it that way because what is owed to us is usually something ethereal or intangible. "You owe me time, respect, love, appreciation, your consideration, friendship, etc..." Often times we are owed things that cannot be paid back, but it doesn't change the concept. If you disagree with my oversimplification of anger I will cite Dr. Danger who was known to say "Anger is a sign of a blocked goal."* Think about this long enough you realize that it is basically true. If you still disagree you can call me and we can discuss it, or you can simply ask me next time you see me because the only people who read this blog are my family and Cortney. But I digress

Anger means "You owe me." To forgive means, "I acknowledge and cancel the debt."

The exercise I read about in the book involves detailing the things owed to you by another person. The point of this isn't to dwell on these things and fuel your anger, but rather to make sure that you have an accurate picture of what you're doing, and making sure that you haven't left anything out. Then you consciously tell God that you are canceling the debt and forgiving that person totally for what they owe you. Once you've done that, that person does NOT owe you anymore.

It's a powerfully liberating thing. You've probably heard that lending money can put strain on a relationship. Sin and anger is the same way. There is an unpleasant bond between two people as long as one person owes the other person. But to forgive that debt is to put people back in right standing with each other.

As I did this I became overwhelmed with the idea that God has a laundry list about me several miles long. He could have a detailed account that include my every thought and waking breath as owed to him. I owe him so much above and beyond what I could ever pay. And in the same way he has cancelled my debt, being fully aware of what it was.

Very liberating indeed. Sometimes it's hard to be forgiven because we would rather work to "fix" or "make right," to pay back what we owe. But when we've been forgiven that becomes unnecessary. It's a but embarrassing, a bit humiliating to have other people assume the responsibilities for our actions and cancel debts we wish to pay. But some debts cannot be repaid, and that's why we have forgiveness. A powerfully liberating thing. I'm very excited to be a forgiven man right now.

My two thoughts for the day

1) Practice forgiveness today
2) Appreciate the forgiveness you have received.

*I also cite 4 years as a psychology major. I realize that does NOT qualify me to be a councilor but lets assume that $100,000 of education left me with SOMETHING.

Summer reading plans

2009-05-22T19:46:00.002-04:00

Today marks the first full day of Summer for Mr. Steven M. Danger C. Conn and I'm very excited about it! I'm also excited about living with one of my best friends (or besties, as we like to say when we are being particularly annoying).

Andrew Lehr and I will be taking up residence at the party mansion at 5733 Co Rd 203Millersburg OH, and depending on whether or not we pay the electric bill for the month of August we are either going to party like it's 1899 or 1999.

The number one item on our agenda besides p0woning n00bs* is reading a ridiculous amount of nerdy books. That being said, I set a goal at the beginning of the year to read twenty book in 2009. We are now almost half way through the year and I have read fifteen. Using all the math I learned as a psychology major at Taylor that means that I'm between 65%-99.4% done with my goal.**

As you see my list of "Books of 2009" growing on the side of my blog, you will say to yourself, "wow, this kid doesn't have any friends. He just sits around in his house all day reading and writing blog posts about it. But then, who am I to judge? Because as pathetic as that is...I'm actually READING that blog.

Food for thought.

*That just happened
**The real number is 75%. I knew you knew that, but I wanted you to know that I knew it too.

Setting the Record Staight

2009-05-21T15:19:00.002-04:00

There has been some confusion lately about professional athletes, especially regarding LeBron James. So please let me clear the air for all of you fans.

Being from Ohio means that you've already won the championship in one category: namely, the "Being from Ohio" category. Thusly, even when you lose, you win. And even when Orlando wins, they lose (because they are from Florida). But instead of lose-winning I would rather win-win. We deserve it because we are from Ohio.

The other thing that people don't understand is that some people think they can critique of criticize LeBron James like he needs their coaching. "Don't miss the free throws LeBron!" They say.

Well you know what? LeBron has done nothing other than SERVE YOU with his almighty sweetness since he graciously VOLUNTEERED to grace the NBA with his presence. He even allows NINE other guys to play at the same time as him! Can you imagine the humility that takes? And he allows you to watch him for FREE and some of you have the audacity to complain. Do you sit back on your couch (you non contributing zero) and tell me how a surgeon should operate on you or how a pilot should fly your plane? No you do NOT. So why do you think you have the RIGHT to put your two cents in on the greatest thing to happen to America since we invented freedom!?*

Fortunately for ALL of us Mike Brown decided to lose a game last night so we would all be able to see MORE of the Cavaliers instead of winning in a quick 4 and out. What a guy. Next time the game is on, just watch and nod appreciatively and try not to embarrass yourself.

*The Buckeyes pre-dated freedom. Many historians believe that the tax levied on watching the Buckeyes from home was one of the major catalysts for the American revolution. Wolverine fans (then called tea bags) were drowned in Lake Superior (Then called Lake Ohio) to the delight of the colonists. This incident was later confused with a fancy shmancy tea party in Boston to which the Buckeyes were not invited. The forward thinking colonists of this time were hailed as visionaries by gaining the right to watch the Buckeyes more than a hundred years before the invention of the Television.

The couch of despair

2009-05-20T20:35:00.009-04:00

Ladies and gentlemen, if you did not yet know it, Phil Byers is a stud and the third floor of English is far away from the parking lot.

Let me enlighten you as to how I know these things for sure.

Background

Once long ago fate smiled upon Brent Fannin and provided for him a free couch on the roadside by Fairlane apartments. Unfortunately for Brent, Steve frowned upon him and took the couch for himself.*

But because Steve is very whipped he gave the couch to his beautiful girlfriend Cortney who wanted it in her dorm room. Steve Believed that it was impossible to move such a large couch through the twisted doorways of English and into her little room, but fate smiled upon him too, and the couch was thusly delivered.

In the middle ages castles were built for defense. Staircases spirals to the right so right handed swordsmen could swing their weapons while climbing the stairs. Corridors were narrow to force attackers to pass through one at a time. Rooms and walls were often positioned at odd angles so an attacking army wouldn't have enough space to swing a battering ram. I am convinced that the architect who built English Hall was convinced its residence would be under assault. Rest assured women of Mary Tower English, your fortress can withstand any attack.

The Present Day

I am whipped and Phil has the heart of a servant so we went up to Cortney's third floor dorm room in order to extract this couch like a bowling ball through a Chinese finger trap. I assured Phil that if we could get it in, we could also get it out. But 20 minutes, 5 stifled curses, and about $60 worth of fines** later Phil and I were standing on opposite sides of an inverted devil couch that was one third in Cortney's room, one third in the hallway, and one third in another room.

As I tried to fold the couch in half like a soft taco Mr. Byers observed that sheer force might not avail us as well as some problem solving skills. Now I can do the Rubik's cube, so I thought this was playing to my advantage, but I had underestimated the couch.***

(Diagram of our route through English to scale: Click to Enlarge)

Fast Forward an hour and Phil had sweet talked every girl on 3rd South English into wanting to marry him, but the couch was still wedged between a rock and a hard place--and two more rocks--and a vice--and a whole family of little hard places that grew up together in Italy but decided to move to America last winter just to screw me.

Then, in a move of utter despair I hurled my body forcefully at the couch with little intent besides killing myself when the impossible happened. The impossibly huge couch passed through the impossibly small opening and we were free. Now pardon the imagery but if you've ever given birth you might have an idea what I felt like at that moment.

Long story short...we got it out. And now I owe Phil a life debt.

So Cort, now you have proof that I love you, but we are going to have to name our first kid Phil Byers Conn.

*The details of this transaction make it seem a little less shady but if Brent ever complains about me having stolen his couch...he's not exactly lying.

**we scraped the floor, two door jams, and three doors. Why they had English built so that one piece of furniture could touch three doors at once...I don't know.

***I can do the Rubik's cube in 3 minutes. It took us 90 minutes to move the couch.

The coming days

2009-05-18T23:29:00.002-04:00

Hey jokers and jokestreses

I'm sorry I've been so absent from blog land lately. Ben Taylor actually had the audacity to comment on it to my FACE.

Well whatever. I'm turning in my thesis proposal tomorrow and really just kinda checking out after that. So I expect the blog posts will start to come more quickly as I have more time to waste on the Internet.

Things you can look forward to in the future

My love for the word "nope"
The story of Phil Byers and the immovable object
Why it is impossible to scratch a diamond ring with a napkin holder
more thoughts on walls
and why I think it's OK to be mediocre

have a wonderful day everyone, and wish me luck proposing!*

*Proposing my THESIS...don't get cocky Cortney

Caveat

2009-05-13T14:35:00.001-04:00

Ok so the post underneath this one is the longest post in the world.

My bad. I would have published it somewhere other than my blog if I had anyother place to do that kind of thing.

Anyway, I wrote a story. There you have it. Keep in mind as you read it, it's not intended to be entirely alagorical, so don't pick it apart.

Also, I wrote it on Word. And the formatting was a lot better than when I copy pasted it onto the blog. Perhaps I'll go back and fix it another time. But right now I've got to run. Hope you enjoy what I've been working on for he last few days.

Steve

Stones

2009-05-13T14:33:00.002-04:00

I trudge along, one foot after another. Left, right, left, right. The sweat stung my eyes but I couldn’t wipe it away. My hands were occupied balancing the burden on my back. Left, right, left right. I have somewhere to get to, and I don’t dare stop. Left, right, left, right. I didn’t start out with so many stones, I added them as I went. Sometimes as I was walking I would see a stone on the ground and think I might need it. Sometimes I went looking for stones because I was afraid I was missing one. Maybe I didn’t have all the right shapes or all the right colors. Some stones I walked right by. But others caused me to stop, stoop over, pick them up with hands raw and cramped, and add them to the sack I carried on my back. Each stone made the sack a little heavier, and caused me to walk a little more hunched over, a little closer to the ground. Left, right, left, right.
Sometimes I look up to see where I’m going. I have somewhere to get to, and I don’t dare stop. But it never seems any closer. Left, right, left, right. When I do look up I see others walkers trudging along too—the same as me. Left, right, left, right. Some of them walk in pairs, some walk alone. Some have lots of stones. Some hardly have any at all. I feel sorry for them. They don’t know they are doing it wrong. You’ll never make it to where you’re going without the right stones. I put my head back down and keep walking. Left, right, left, right. Looking at others makes me nervous sometimes. It makes me wish sometimes that I could drop some stones and walk a little straighter, but I know I don’t dare. More often it makes me scared because I see the stones others are carrying, and I realize I don’t have enough. Some people have more than me…a lot more. Some of them have stones in colors and sizes I don’t have. It makes me wonder if I have enough. Do they feel sorry for me? Will I have the right stones when I get there? Left, right, left, right.
A pair of feet…I stop. I see a man’s feet in the sand right in front of me. I’ve seen this before, but these feet were different. They weren’t moving…and they were pointing the wrong direction. The were pointing at me.
Straining, I crane my neck and look up as far as I can. I don’t dare stand up straight because I might drop my sack, and I don’t think I’d be able to pick it up again if I did. I can just barely see high enough to see the man’s face. He looks concerned.
“Where are you going?” asks the man
“That way” I say, nudging my head in the direction I’ve been walking. I think it’s a stupid question. We’re all walking the same direction, and there’s nowhere else to go. But the man listens intently as if this was the first time he’s heard this. There was something decidedly strange about this man.
“That bag looks pretty heavy,” he says. “What’s so important that you would lug it across this whole desert?”
I’m starting to get annoyed. I think he’s making fun of me. We’ll see whose laughing when we get to where I’m going…if he ever gets there.
I Put my heard down again and brush by him. Left, right, le…
“Seriously, what’s in the bag?”
I see the feet again…he’s still in front of me. I’m not quite sure how that happened. I’m beginning to think the heat might have finally got to me. But I answer him.
“They’re my stones. I need them for where I’m going.”
“I see.” said the man. “Do you want any help carrying them?”
Now my head snaps up. “What did you say?”
“The stones” he replied, apparently not catching my mood, “do you want me to help you carry them?”
I took a step back. The first step back I ever remember taking. (I wasn’t about to forgive him for that.)
“Look here,” I snarled, “I’ve worked too hard and come too far to give up what I have to the likes of you! Why don’t you worry about your own stones and leave me alone!”
The man started laughing. Laughing! He smiled and said “Why don’t I? Because I don’t have any stones!”
I almost took another step back. He was right. I realized for the first time what was so weird about this guy, what really didn’t sit right. He wasn’t carrying a single stone.
“Where’s your sack? Where are all your stones? Do you even know where you’re going? What will you do when you get there?” I was so startled, and not just a little afraid, that I almost stood all the way up for the first time in years. The bag I carried tugged me back and back until I quickly resumed my hunched posture and settled back down again. I adjusted my grip on the sack and took a deep breath as I waited for his response.
“Oh there,” he said with another laugh. “Oh I’m not worried about that. I LIVE there and it turns out you don’t really need any stones. I’ve got enough stones for everyone there…if you’re in to that kind of thing. As a matter of fact you might as well just set those stones down. I mean stones are great and all but I’m more worried about your back at this point.”
Now I’m really scared. I have no idea who this guy is or what he wants but this can’t be good. He could ruin everything. He wants my stones, but he can’t have them. I tighten my grip on my sack again, and then I make my move.

I swung my bag of stones directly at his head.

(If anyone is still reading with me at this point I’ll ask you to stop for a moment. Maybe a few seconds, maybe a day. I stopped here. This isn’t quite the story I expected to write. At this point in the story I think the reader might be able to make better meaning out of it than I can. What are the stones to you, and would you ever use them as a weapon? I feel compelled to finish writing the story, and I will. But once you’ve read to the end it’s a cliché, it’s the same old story. The story of Christ always ends the same way, and we always focus on the ending. That’s appropriate of course, but the problem with it is that we never appreciate that story the first time we hear it, and we are never surprised by the time we understand it. Overwhelmed sometimes yes, thankful, obviously, but never surprised. But now it’s not quite the same because we haven’t reached the happy ending. Maybe this should be the ending, it is for so many people.

So I hope you leave it here for a while, and I hope you think about. Maybe not for long. I hope you think about your own story. Because once you read my ending the story is full of my meaning, and I’ll never believe that I can speak into your life as well as you can.

I would love it if some of you wrote your own endings. But of course you don’t have to. Not all of you are as obsessed with your own words as I am.  And in case any of you were concerned, the second part is a lot shorter than the first part. So this is where it picks up again if you’ve taken some time off. And if you’ve just ignored my recommendations…well that’s ok too.

The man lay there on the ground
I stood still

He might be dead…he might not be. All I know is that he really scared me and I didn’t want to be around him if he woke up. But then again…What if what he said was true. How could I know? Something in me really liked what I heard in his voice when he talked about his “home.” But I don’t really know if I can believe it. Maybe I should wait to see if he wakes up. Maybe if I just set my sack down for a minute and sat next to him, he would come around again and tell me more. Maybe he really could help me carry my stones. Or maybe he would convince me to leave them behind all together.

That thought jarred me back into reality. I would never do that, I could never do that. It was insane. But I hadn’t given up on this man completely yet. I had never met anyone like him ever before. So I did the only thing I could do. I picked him up and put him on my back and began walking again. Left, right, left, right.
I realized quickly that something was wrong. Left, right, left, right. The man was way too heavy. He was heavier than all my stones.
“Impossible!” I thought. He wasn’t even half the size of the bag I was carrying. And even if he was made out of solid stone himself he couldn’t possibly weigh this much. Left, right…left…right.
This was terrible. I was more scared now than I had been any time since meeting the man. I had to get rid of this guy now and leave him far, far, behind.

I stopped, gripped the bag of stones firmly and leaned a little to the left so the man would fall off. I listened for the sound of his body hitting the ground and the lightening of the terrible load that would indicate I had succeeded.

Nothing happened. I leaned a little further. Nothing. I leaned to the right instead. Still nothing. At this point I was near panic. I tried to shake him off, but he wouldn’t budge. I spun in circles and hopped from foot to foot. I couldn’t dislodge this wretched man! I began to run. I sprinted in the direction I had been going as fast and as hard as possible. Maybe I could leave the man behind. Maybe if I got to where I was going before he woke up everything would be ok. Maybe if I found someone else they would help me get rid of the guy.
My breath came in gasps, the sweat was really pouring off of me now, and my knees felt like they were filled with shattered glass. Leftrightleftrightleftrightleftright I needed help, I needed out, I needed this cursed weight off my back.
And then I fell.
I fell and I couldn’t get up. I was done.
There was no pain…in fact I couldn’t feel my legs, but I knew what had happened. I had broken my back. The weight of the man was too much, and now I was finished. I would never get to where I was going now, and I would never have enough stones. I had failed.
I had failed.
I had failed
I had failed

And I began to cry.
And as the tears leaked down my face and into the dry sand I felt a loosening of something inside. Anxiety and fear leaked out of me as well—evaporating in the hot sun as soon as they escaped my body. I had failed my task. Unequivocally and categorically failed to the point that I could never try again. I could stop. I could finally stop and lay down without any stones. The tears came harder now. They were tears of relief.

“Finally decided to put the stones down I see.”
I couldn’t turn my head far enough around to see who it was, but I knew it was the man talking. I wasn’t even surprised at this point. What else could happen? I answered him,
“Well I didn’t really have much of a choice.” The man chuckled a little and I remembered the amused look on his face from before. I assumed he was wearing it again now.
“No, you still have a choice” he said. “I just broke your back, but I could never make you let go. That was your decision.” I wasn’t really sure if this was exactly true or not, but I was too tired to argue.
“Now,” he said “how about getting up so we can go home?”
“I can’t walk anymore. I’ve broken my back. Besides, I’ve walked enough. I’m staying put right here from now on” Then I felt hands grab me around the waist. It didn’t hurt at all, even though I knew it should have. I was turning as he lifted me and then I was looking at the ground again as I was draped over his shoulder.
“Oh you’ll learn to walk again” he said. “But we’re not going to bother with the stones anymore, I think you’ll just walk with me and keep me company. But until that time comes I’ll just carry you.”
And so we set out again—me and the man. Him talking and singing all the while like he didn’t have a care in the world, and me draped over his back like a bag of stones, still crying my tears. Left, right, left, right.

Unbuilidng the walls

2009-05-03T18:09:00.004-04:00

So often we hear Christians talking about the walls they have built up in their hearts. Something that keeps them from God, or from each other, or from some other noteworthy goal. The wall goes unseen for a long time, effectively sealing off parts of a persons life until *gasp* Jesus comes along and breaks down the walls like a wrecking ball and everyone is doing just fine and peachy again. I mean, they have to cry first and everything, but by and large things are on the right track.

Now if this has happened to you don't think I'm making fun of you, I'm not. I'm only trying to draw attention to how easy we think the process can be sometimes. When God is involved change happens quickly and without any effort on our part....right?

I think in our efforts to give God the credit for things that we couldn't or wouldn't have done on our own (and rightly so) we* sometimes shift the responsibility to the Holy Spirit to change us like a miracle. "Well I prayed that God would change my heart so...I guess my part is done." Even though we never say that, how often do we act like we think it's true?

The problem with Jesus coming in like a wrecking ball and knocking down all our walls at once is that it usually involves a major crisis. Which is fine. Pain is God's megaphone. But sometimes (preferably most of the time) our life is not in a state of crisis. So how do the walls come down?

They come down through an intentional and determined effort to unbuild them brick by brick. In my own life I have identified several beliefs and patterns of thought that have served me to a point but ultimately alienate me from the people I love most. The problem is that I can't tear the walls down instantly because so much truth and healthy thought is mixed in with the lies and with the unhealthy thoughts. People probably don't have walls for absolutely no reason. In fact, on an individual basis there is probably nothing wrong with most of he bricks in the wall, they are just stacked together in the wrong places.And so instead of asking God to bust down my walls today before lunchtime I'm going to ask him to help me identify the misapplication of all my erroneously laid bricks. Because I think I'm going to have to start unbuilding a wall piece by piece and putting those bricks where they belong. As I am doing this I will be listening to "The Wall" by Pink Floyd.

*Did I say "we" I probably should have said "I" but it sounds less incriminating this way.

Ode to LeBron

2009-04-27T11:30:00.002-04:00

Some of you may have noticed that I blog less frequently now. Well that is seasonal, it will pass with the completion of much homework. Undersand that I will resume with gusto later.

But first let us take a minute to Hail King James in all his glory.*

Lebron you are a macho man
You dunk and drive like no one can
You made the Pistons look like clowns
When you threw the hammer down

You jump and soar so gracefully
The crowd cries out "MVP"
You stand back an knock down so many 3's
While Garnett looks on wistfully

Your stat sheet is just out of hand
You are the greatest player in the land
Who has ever played so grand?
as LBJ the Awesome Man?

Kobe, Dawain, Dwight, and Chris
You aint got nuthin' at all on this
so smile real big for the posters you're on
When you get dunked on by LeBron.

*i wrote this really fast, I know it's bad.

Leading Jesus

2009-04-22T13:46:00.003-04:00

Wow, It's been a while since I've written, and I'm sorry. I hope if I have any faithful readers left they wont take the hiatus as a sign of apathy. But to be honest I suppose this blog was always mostly a means to entertain myself and to keep track of my ideas. So, whatever.

But the other day in class we were discussing leadership and following. I think that the term "servent leadership" is really the only kind of leadership there is. It's a very Christian thing to say, but leading something is ALWAYS a service no matter how big of a jerk the leader is or how much people hate him. The exception to this is a leader who FORCES people to follow him through fear or coercion, but that's a little more rare.

But VIEWING yourself as a servent and leadering WELL becuase you remember that is completely different than happening to perform a needed function for others at great personal benifit to yourself.

We also talked about following, and how it's an active process. Being a good follower means actively supporting and choosing to support and buy into the leader, which is a lot different from just doing what you are told.

Do most of us actually follow Jesus? Or do we try to lead Him? Do we actively support and buy into his teachings and way of life? Or do we kinda just do what we're told (If that)?

Do we live life our own way at our own pace and bring Jesus along for the ride?

Does following Jesus mean keeping tabs on what he's been doing and reading up on him? Some people follow the news and I follow the exploits of LeBron James. But how closely, how intently, and how intentionally am I following Jesus?

Stuff Girls Like: Babies

2009-04-06T10:46:00.003-04:00

It's been a while since we've had one of these but I got a suggestion from a reader.
My friend Brad recnetly went on a study abroad trip to Ethiopia where he was struck by an realization. Here then is our first guest entry.

I have found that nothing will make a girl's heart melt like a tiny dependent life form that cries incessantly and poops itself. They say they’re “cute.” This defies all logic, yet it is universally true. I was thinking how if you were to wake a girl four times during the night by screaming at her, crap in your pants, and puke on her when she got close to you, the last adjective she would consider using is “cute.” I see some glaring inconsistencies here.
I have always know this to be true, but I was surprised to discover during my travels that there is something girls like even more than babies, and it is this: African babies. We practically had to do a baggage search to uncover all of the Ethiopian infants the females on our lighthouse trip wanted to smuggle back to America.

You make a good point Brad. If you've read previous posts you would know that girls love babies because they are smaller versions of real people. A point of interst, girls often times like really old people too, which are similar to babies becuase they are small, they have no teeth, are incoherrent, wear diapers, drool, and can't walk. single guys take note of these similariaties and perhaps you will be cute one day too.

A Nightmare!

2009-04-03T11:41:00.003-04:00

Last night I had one of the scariest nightmares I've ever had.
I dreamt that the Ohio State Buckeyes lost another Bowl game to Florida.*
I was so ashamed I hid my face from everyone I knew the following Monday, and I avoided ESPN because hearing about my beloved Buckeyes was too painful to handle.

But I woke up in a cold sweat and realized...it was all a dream. thank goodness.

I just got a new keyboard so you might have to read some rambling thoughts of mine that are written just for the sheer joy of typing. Hope you don't mind. And now on to the real point at hand. Ben Taylor sent me a link to this video which I think is both hilarious and true....enjoy.

Everything's Amazing, Nobody Happy

*I say "another" not because I believe that Florida has ever beaten the Buckeye in a bowl game, but because OTHER people have lost bowl games to Florida

Surprised? Not good.

2009-03-31T17:52:00.003-04:00

I'm begining to wonder about myself. Most of you are probably wondering what took me so long. But I've been questioning some of my behaviors lately becuase I'm afriad they might have changed in a bad way.

The first thing I need to akcnowledge is that my context has changed dramatically. I continue to live on a Christian campus, but I live alone in an appartment, unable to attend chapel, not connected too closely with anyone on campus, and feeling no particularly strong affiliation with any church. I realize that this is a cause to one problem, and also a problem in and of itself. I have determined to remedy parts of this.

But that's not the main point of this post. The main point is that the other day I told a friend from class that I was considering being a pastor, and she was really surprised. No one has EVER been surprised before when I said that. Through most of undergrad everyone assumd I was a Chrsitian Ed. Major (which was not true) and even though I was studying psychology people constantly asked me if I was looking around for churches yet.

And now it surprises people. But I don't blame Beth for her incredulity. I haven't demonstrated that side of myself in quite some time. I haven't stretched my ministry muscles* since I joined this graduate program. I haven't had much practice in being vulnerable and broken before others. I haven't really had much meaningful interaction with others at all actually. I do not believe that the discipline of student development is beating it out of me (Tim Herrman? never) but some combination of vairiables has caused me to put my academic foot forward and my spiritual foot in the back. I do not like this. I wanted to do Student Development as a ministry, but it's sometimes it feels hard to convince myself that that's what I'm doing.

*note, I said stretched, not flexed

A Phone Call

2009-03-30T10:22:00.003-04:00

You know you have reached a terrible point in your life when the most exiting thing that happens to you in a day is your interlibrary loan comes in.

Hello friends, have you missed me while I was in thesis-land? Well I miss a lot of thigns here in Thesis-land...mostly people, and fun.

But I did have a revelation the other day that I would like to share with you. Many of you know by now that I am madly in love with the wonderful Cortney Michelle Korshak. Many of you also know of my love to talk incessently, and if you know Cortney, you know this is a passion that we share.

What you might not know is the other day I called her on the phone and it hit me. We had nothing to talk about. Our conversation sputtered to a halt. I had done homework all day and she had given a test in Spanish class* and we really didn't have much to say.

Now I had finally reached the part in a relationship that I always thought would be truly alarming, the part where you run out of things to say. But for some reason I didn't find myself panicked. Why? Becuase I realized that our relationship doesn't hinge on one insstance of not finding anything to say. Instead it hinges on the cumulative effect of our time spent communicating and the feelings and experiences we share as a result of those. That being said, I didn't get discouraged, and I called her again the next day for a much better conversation. The exchange of information isn't as important as the regard I show her by calling every day and the growing body of expereinces and time we share.

Why do I say all that? Is it because you are all intensly interested in my love life? I sincerely hope not. No, I say that because all too often my quiet times with God feel like phone conversations when I've run out of things to say. And I shoudln't let that discourage me because the principle is the same as it is with Cortney, and after I have a dissapointing quiet time I can shut my Bible and say "well, I'll talk to you tomorrow."**

*She's a student teacher
** This is not to suggest that one should only talk to God (or your girlfriend) in specific segmented parts of the day, that just happens to be the subject of this post.

Leave it Alone

2009-03-24T10:38:00.002-04:00

Did you ever wonder if the alterative to "walk it off" was coming? Well here it is.

Becuase some emotional pains are like a bruised muscle that need to be worked out, but some are like a sore tooth that just need to be left alone so they can heal. Revisiting these pains, these thoughts, is not a good thing. There are areas of even our own mind that we should try to stay out of.

Andy Stanley calls these emotions "Tojan Horses." The Trojan Horse being the gift the Greeks left outside of Troy full of soldiers so they could take the city once brought inside.

We have Trjon Horses of the heart. They are gifts left for us by everyone who has ever hurt us, from everyone who has ever wronged us. And the gift is OURS by right. By enduring those hurts we have earned that "horse."

But inside, instead of a host of angry Greeks, we find bitterness and resentment. We find anger and self doubt and either the lust for revenge or the helpless feeling that we deserve what happened to us. And the danger is ours if we accept this gift and bring it into the city of our hearts.

So sometimes it's not a healthy thing to spiral down and down into even deeper levels of introspection. Some things should be examined once and then tossed aside, becuase we don't want to own every emotion that comes our way. If you have a Trojan Horse sitting outside the gates of your heart, leave it alone...or set fire to it.

The hatred of homework

2009-03-23T15:11:00.002-04:00

Hey all you faithful followers in blogger land

I have to begin doing More homework than has ever been done before by any man in history because I was dumb enough to procrastinate. sooo, blogging may or may not slow down for a while. which is too bad because some of my most creative stuff comes when I should be doing other stuff. We'll see.

On an interesting side note I have read 11 books so far this year, which puts me over half-way towards my goal of 20 books in a year. Doing some quick math suggests that I am ahead of schedule, and that's good.

speaking of reading. For those of you looking forward to the Posthumous release of Robert Jordan's final installment in the WOT series (and who isn't) I just read that the ghost writer finishing the book has written over 440,000 words, it is scheduled for release in August, and he suspects that it will be almost 750,000 words in length. In case you were wondering how long that is, the average novel usually amounts to 80,000-120,000 words. The Great Gatsby is about 50,000. Fun times.

Hard Times

2009-03-19T21:33:00.004-04:00

So in these hard economic times we should always be looking for opportunities to save money. One good way to do that is to make at home things that we used to only buy in the store. Here's a good place to start

Fritos claim to have three ingredients.

The process is a bit of a mystery to me still but with a little trial and error I think we can figure it out. As soon as someone figures it out will you please let the rest of us know? Thanks